Lets get one thing out of the way, im only 15 and am not an attention seeker. I just really need someone people to talk to because, everyone around here doesnt really seem to care and thinks that everything im going through or been through is a “phase”. Im a sophmore in highschool only have 5.5 credits, I go to a shrink every week and has whole mental “breakdown” as my mother would say. I have OCD, ADHD, Anxitey, and depression. I tried commiting suicide when i was 11 about to turn 12. I was bullied my whole […]
listen
Hey there. I saw your eyes yesterday. You’re disappointed. Sorry. I might be… out. I’m actually out. I’m always off. I’m always out. I push back my chair. I hide my hands in my pockets. I lay my head up against the wall. I deaf myself out and off with music. I don’t wanna listen anymore. I just don’t wanna be here. I keep complaining all the time. Always blaming someone, something. Always wondering, about me, about the others, about everything. I live in a world that isn’t. I have to make up my own to smile. See the smile on my lips when I […]
Well hey if youre still around or if anyones interested give a band Mother Mother a listen.
It’s not the thoughts of suicide that are getting stronger. Not that. But my ability to stay safe that is getting weaker. No proper sleep for months, no proper food for weeks, random and variable support in fighting this landlady who is evicting me. We are to be homeless again, and I am getting weaker and weaker, trying to fight it. Running out of hope. Running out of options. As winter approaches fast, we are faced with sleeping in the car, again. In this life 21st century life, you have to have money to get folk to listen and support. Solicitors, surveyors, anyone. They all […]
ive been referred to four different organisations for mental health over the last 5 years. none of which have worked. only had one session with my new NHS woman but I haven’t much hope. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and all they seem to care about is the anxiety. that’s the least of my worries. ive been suicidal before, and I still have suicidal tendencies which I am struggling to supress. I need help but they don’t seem to want to get to the issues that are deeply effecting me. is there anywhere that works (UK based) or any methods (currently on […]
i was ok yesterday, then i woke up this morning. i wish i could go back and stay there. i dont care if i was in a bad place then i still felt good i didnt want to do anything bad. i really should not have been born. i was a mistake. i literally cant do anything without someone hating me for it, especially now. almost every person i come into contact with hates me. everyone talks about me behind my back but they never say anything to my face. i get fucked over all the time just because. for the past year ive had […]
So I found a place to live, in an LGBT household and I know I’ll have support here but I feel so empty and painfully alone because I lost my best and closest friend in the sense that he truly doesn’t give a fuck how I feel, refuses to listen to how I feel and will cut me out of his life if I say how I feel, shits all over my feelings and acts like I don’t exist and we were never as close as we were and constantly pushes me away and trivialize my feelings and barely says anything to me […]
I cry every time I listen to this.
does anyone need to get anything out it doesnt matter what its about it could be anger or sadness or happy or funny just absolutely anything. im here to talk with you and listen to you
I’m trying to put together a playlist of songs that, throughout my life at some point, have held meaning. A couple may just be extras that are favorites from the offline playlist I’ll have on repeat when I go. But if someone would just listen, then you would know who I am. Sorry if you don’t understand the songs not in English, you are missing out on good stuff with deep meaning. 😉
Listen to me: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNzoz_Bdzq_8KDAlE7hyzW6vXBT0AxqR-
I’ve lurked here for a few months now, rather accidentally discovering the site when I was dealing with a flare up of my own depression-like symptoms. In my time here, I’ve seen how incredibly caring and non-judgmental the regular community is on this site. I want to be a part of it.
Hello. I am PyroFalkon.
Here’s the thing with that username: five seconds of Googling will turn up my real name. Another five seconds will turn up my history. In those ten seconds, I’ve gone from an anonymous writer to a flesh-and-blood person with a real voice, real stories, real problems, and real accomplishments. I say […]
It’s the second time I write here today. I really thought things would take a turn for the better but It wasn’t the case. It makes some pretty good time since I got this bad. I just wanna cry but I simply can’t, maybe it’s because I don’the have the option to fail this time. Like my life would crumble if I did that, there was also one other thing that bothers me. My family have seen the pages I’ve been accessing and then they found out about suicideproject.org. No need to say they are very worried about me but even so they […]
It’s been hard, very hard, there are times in which I was fine, others in which I was simply “better”, I feel simply weak, like I’ve seen people passing for things so much more complicated than me and yet I keep asking myself. Why to live? What is the meaning of all this? Why keep feeling all this sadness, I can’t fix some things, I can’t fix my life and I can’t talk with anyone about these things, I don’t have family or friends to speak about it, that’s hard, having to act like I’m fine, HAVING to be fine,why do I have to be […]
I had such grand plans.
As a kid I would sit for hours and draw “blueprints” of my future dream house.
A large ranch nestled in the Georgia country side, complete with orchards, gardens, ponds, stables, horses, and an animal rescue specializing in turtles.
I saved the seeds of every fruit I ate for my “orchard” and bought every horse and turtle book I could find.
I really really believed it was possible. I truly did.
Now I’m 20 and I’ve been cheated on more times than I can count in my failing marriage, and at the end of September we get kicked out of our friends house because they […]
My new fave song by X Ambassadors. Unsteady. Fuck it. Have a listen.
http://youtu.be/0KaZshKQvuc
I told them I wanted to leave. It didn’t have to be far away, just away from here.
I need help and I know it. They know it. Everyone seems to know it.
I can’t get help while being here.
I’m becoming a monster. Aggressive, verbally abusive to others, physically abusive towards myself. I’ve just about given up on myself. And all anyone cares about is that fact that if I leave, it’s like I’m abandoning them. THEM!
Like, aren’t they abandoning me by only caring about themselves? They aren’t looking out for my best interest. I could kill […]
suicidal thoughts consume me…..
i feel like everyone hates me, nobody likes me…. whats wrong with me….
my lab partner decided to switch partners without even telling me – yes cause she doesnt like me…
everybody at work hates me……. im not even doing anything.
and now at home, he hates me.
what if im dead instead, ill be gone. for sure they’ll be hurt, shocked, and probably will move one eventually. but i will get my peace… forgive me Lord, you know whats in my head or what im feeling
i have nobody to talk to. even my managers wont talk to me. theyre useless. you cant even voice […]
i have to convince myself that i not trying hard enough and using my chronic illness as an ecuse to give up, not try, and be unhappy. If i dont, my girlfriend who i love dearly will leave me. I cannot talk about my chronic illness, and my attempts to cope with it. I must listen to her vent and say that i dont listen to her, that i dont love her or her son, that im selfish and all that. Its fine. I do use my chronic illness as an excuse. Im not truly trying hard. I was giving up, and saying that “i […]
People. I’m a teenage female, and I suffer from seeing some of you so helpless. If you want someone to hear you and talk to you, you can contact me on my kik account – my username is the same as here’s, as I think you can see who the author of this post is – and my email. Search for my username on kik or send me an email at paiyra98@gmail.com. No, you won’t be bothering or disturbing, you can be sure of that. If you want someone to be friends with (well, an Internet friend, at least), don’t hesitate. I’ll listen and talk […]
Hey everyone. It’s good being back here. Possibly the only place (non-physical of course) I can share how I feel from my point of view with complete honesty and no negative repercussions. I know all of the people who read this post don’t give a flying fuck what a kid in Iowa’s going through, and I don’t blame you. Most of the time I just like to ignore it all and forget who I am, how pathetic my life is, and how useless it all is. Death is inevitable, the only thing that is a constantly changing variable between people is when they die, and […]