iv been depressed and in the darkness for so long living a normal life seems scary not to say I will be normal but what is normal always ? Beging depressed and suicidal its just about making it though another day without slicing you throat or swollowing a bunch of pills that’s a battle on its own now life on the other hand finding/getting a job you don’t hate paying bills so you don’t get kicked out made homeless then you feel like an out cast if you don’t have what’s in fashion phone cloths etc but u no u should compare your self to […]
The constant thought of ending my life is tearing me down. I wish to end it, but somehow I can’t.
The thought of suicide keeps coming back and slowly becomes stronger and stronger.
My friends and my family have abandoned me. I never bothered to look them up. Now I want to look them up, they don’t have time for me :'(
I don’t care anymore whether I live or die and now I am dealing with my survival instinct. I wonder when I will find the strength to finally end it all.
All the harassment cost me my friends and the people doing the harassing and stalking have […]
Did you know naproxen causes
Nausea
Blurred vision
Vomiting
Movement problems
Dizziness
Coma
Incoherence
Slow labored breathing
Stomach pain
And ringing in your ears?
A lot of the times it’s given to people who’d look like they’d abuse zanex.
A handful of these or more and you tear stomach lineing and end up with ulsers even brain hemorrhage after waking up from coma.
But coma sounds so sweet. Sure I’ll wake up with a couple ulsers and my stomach lineing will get torn but at least I get to sleep for more than just a day. Maybe a couple days or a couple weeks who […]
The more I think about it the more I realize I’m just not a nice person. I can’t remember the last time I made someone happy. I’m just too selfish and lazy to care about too many people and I hate myself for this. Sometimes I just wish I stopped feeling the small amount of happiness I do feel so that I could do nothing but try and make people happy. But I can’t, and that’s why I’m just a waste of living flesh that doesn’t deserve to live. The only reason I’m still alive is because I’m scared to take my own life. Whenever […]
I am always sad for no reason. I cry myself to sleep alone in my room. I write poems on wattpad how I feel about the world. I always wonder why I’m still living, it’s for people I care about my mom, my friends. My friends don’t give a damn about me but I still love them. I can’t look in the mirror without insulting myself. I literally have no point in this messed up world. It is the ugliest place I’ve ever been. I have lost my sanity that I have made a finger puppet to talk to. Afew days later I stopped talking […]
Thank you all to everyone that has stood by me tonight in one way or another. Thank you for the company over the last year but more importantly over the last 2 days.
You have all been amazing.
I know so many of you if not all of you do not understand my choice and that is okay. You have all given me a great departing gift. Please continue to take care of one another as you always have. Our minds never have to be on the same page just support one another.
Now, I will ready myself for my exit. Is it wrong that I am going […]
I don’t know anything about you but I do think it will be a shame if you leave this world. Intelligent people gaze at the moon getting lost in the night. On the other hand, foolish people stare at the sun blinding themselves in the light. The sun starers think they are powerful but their blindness deludes them. As the saying goes, “knowledge is power.” One group can only see nothing but the other group can see everything. Do you know which group you are, Trix? From what I gathered, it’s the group that can see everything, However, you wish you were a part of […]
My cuts say just how much I despise myself. I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. I see a monster. A fragment and shadow of a person I used to be. Was I ever alive? I definitely don’t feel alive. I constantly need something to remind me that I’m alive.
I don’t know why my heart is still beating. It should have stopped a long time ago. I just keep postponing the inevitable. I will die anyway. We all will. So, why don’t I just end it now? I want it to end now. End it now before it gets broken and hurt […]
Yes, this…
Plus wildly varying degrees of insomnia followed by just the opposite: days and nights where I can sleep for 12-14 hours at a time. Then more insomnia.
Clearly my brain flips a coin about this every night, (which might explain some of the migraines.)
Brain on Monday: “Oooh, tails! That means we stay awake staring at the ceiling all night!”
Brain on Tuesday: “Hey, look, heads! Now we get to sleep for 13 hours!”
Brain on Wednesday: “Wow, the coin landed on its side. I […]
I hate my life and wish i was dead , My wife is a piece of shit and i hate her and am only sticking witth her because we have a baby together. Im soooooooooo sorry i had a baby witth her . If i could go back in time and change things i would. I find myself sacrificeing my happiness for the baby because i want him to have a better life than mine . I feel like crying everytime i look at my son , i feel horrible bringing him in this world with the person i did. Everytime i look at my […]
I have quitsmoking and drinking so i can b baptised. But everything is so fucked. I have zero hope. Zero desire. I dont even know if God exists. If he does y doesnt he intervene? Answer prayer? My son is probably schitzophrenic. I have tried to help him. Its impossible to get good metal health help. Only bad people succeed. Doing good gets me know where. I have 7 kids. My oldest is a witch to me and abuses me verbally and emotionally because her childhood was shit. If i olan something its fails. If i try i dont succeed. I just wish i would […]
This week has been completely terrible for me but then again everyday is kinda bad for me. I’ll always be able to find something to make me more upset than i already am. I’ve been thinking more than i usually do on a daily basis. I’m 16 right now and a sophomore in high school. everyone’s is telling me that i need to make a decision about what Im going to do in the future. What classes I should take to benefit my future, what college i need to go to. what career I am interested in and etc. there’s only one profession I’m interested […]
It’s a rusty needle that pierces every pore of your body, makes you hate your own fucking cells, chromosomes, DNA, your brain. It’s an ache that’ll never completely leave, I can rub it out with hormones and Tyenol, change my identity until nothing old remains but my genitals, but I can’t get reborn.
I can never give a woman a baby. I can never fit in truly with men. I can never know what it’s like to wake up with morning wood and chuckle. I’m separate, physically, a confused alien mutilating its flesh for peace. I am devil-wrecked blip of confusion and it’s too fucking much.
I […]
You can try watchcartoononline.com. look in the movie section.
I’m so self destructive
things start going good, then I do as much as possible to ruin any progress I make and get myself in a worse situation
The end is coming soon, at least I have death to look forward to.
I feel terrible for pushing him away; for the way I push and shove and keep him at a distance.
I’ve done this dozens of times. He won’t let me do it to him, he says. I laugh because they all say that.
I self-destruct. I don’t know what to do with my pain, and so I turn it back on myself. I make them leave, then I tell myself I deserved it, that it was bound to happen.
It’s been three months. Three months of calling me beautiful, inside and out. From stopping my wounds from bleeding out with his bare hands. Telling me he can handle […]
Here you go, Hazy.
The one that stalks around in the upstairs hallway doesn’t really look like this, but I think it bears a close enough resemblance.
Don’t wanna talk negatively
I drafted this awhile ago but then started feeling better. But my depression has re-triggered and it’s stronger than ever. The anxiety pills and antidepressants don’t work. Drinking doesn’t dull the pain, it now only intensifies it. My therapist and doctors try so hard but I see the worry in their eyes because they know they can’t reach me anymore. I’ve run out of ideas and energy, and my life feels empty and done. It’s time to post this just in case. I need MC to somehow discover the truth. If it’s meant to be, he’ll find this someday. He’ll know it’s him. He and my therapist know the story, but […]