I just want to hide behind a brick wall because I’m ugly and useless and pathetic. I am incapable of it all. I try to forget the pains those people never knew but old faded scars are literally hurting me. And I just want to hide. Maybe that way I won’t have to look at my dead end future.
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The world is fucking corrupted, society became nothing because we did nothing to make it something. People will walk over one an other for pieces of papers, we’re killing one an other, we’re killing our self without even noticing that we’re killing everything around us. in what fucking world am i leaving. if people could just open their eyes and realize that we’re fucking dying and of course as the selfish human being that we are we cannot go down alone we’re taking this world with use. We are the killers and the killed, we built things just to brake them, we take and take […]
Lately I’ve just been feeling like a shell of the person I used to be. After you’ve been talked down to by nearly all the people you look up to, all the people you called friends, and people that don’t even know you, it starts to weigh down on you. Back in 2010, I lost someone very close to me to suicide. I began my freshman year very lost. I let my grades slip and became extremely recluse. My social anxiety sky rocketed. Like, I couldn’t even ask the teacher questions. That continued all 4 years of high school. I failed nearly all of my […]
I had a look at my guitar leads and I realised how easy it would be to asphyxiate asphyxiate yourself. I might do it night. Maybe……..
I’ve been getting better. But I just have this feeling that I won’t be here for much longer. I acknowledge the gifts I have but I could never imagine a future where I’d be able to share them with anyone.I can’t shake this feeling,its like I’m dying bit by bit. I can’t even imagine the pain that my family woulf be in if I killed myself,its as if it doesn’t matter to me anymore.I don’t think anyone will be surprised when it happens. I’m scared because I’m not even sad about it,this unsettling acceptance of death. I wish I could see what […]
I know I’m not pretty because many guys have left me for other women. My former fiancee constantly contacted prostitutes and denied it, posted pictures of his body parts online and to other women, and told me it wasn’t him. I’m being treated like I’m stupid. My boyfriend just said that I take credit for other peoples’ work, but he also told me I was fat. He talks about other girls’ butts and how smart they are, but whenever he says anything about me, I feel that it is fake. I’ve never done anything to deserve being loved in this life. Everyone else is married […]
But I simply don’t have the guts to say it to your faces.
To my best friend,
I had a crush on you for the past three years, and never told you, mainly because I thought it would ruin our friendship. Although you didn’t know it, you made things quite difficult for me over those three years, because I felt like I was wrong for liking you. But I’m over it now, and I’m a lot happier for it. But you also make me feel like shit about myself, with your ‘oh look, I ran really far today!’ and your ‘look at me, I can eat […]
No one knows. Have made most the preparations needed; Sold what I can, other than my vice, the computers and gadgets. All accounts have a emergency access person and all info is waiting. And Have begun my… ‘Slip’ … ? out of this world.
My birthday is on a Saturday, so when I take my vacation for the following week, Things will be in place already for my replacement.
Bills will be paid through the month, and my arrangements have been made with the funeral home… that was tricky.
The method is still in question. But there are options.
For the trolls good and bad:
Who are you to say […]
I wish I could just die already. I’m so sad all the time and I know that there is no way to escape it anymore. It feels like there’s this animal that lives in my stomach that eats every spark of happiness away. Any emotion at all is torn to pieces and all that is left is this shitty body.
I already walk around like a zombie, everyone knows it. I can hear people saying it behind my back. They treat me as if I’m a bomb; and time is slowly ticking away. What hurts me is that they’re completely right, and I am looking forward […]
Damn, in the last couple months I have been: fired, arrested, evicted, quit opiates cold turkey, and whatever else has gone wrong. Despite it all I’m doing alright. Working 16hrs. a day processing fish making good money. Free room and board and have made a bunch of awesome friends. Me and the homie went to look at apartments today and to look for permanent jobs. Life could be worse for me is all I’m saying, and I know it is worse for many of you. I’m sorry if you are in pain. All I can say is when life gives you lemons make lemonade, and […]
I try to do all the things they say, the things that will make me “better” or make me “normal”. Those magical promised results do not come and I feel robotic and alienated. I feel stuck in a spiral of self blame. I do not have the possibility of a better future to cling to, I am not young and filled with endless potential. It seems impossible to find a community or group to fit into, I’m just too different in ways that make people consider me non human. Someone who does not have basic human desires is uncomfortable to be around. Amongst other things. I have never […]
I’m not suicidal, but I don’t want to live. If something naturally happened to end my life I would be relieved. I feel like my entire life has been one disappointment after the other. I feel like people shouldn’t have kids if they can’t look after them. I feel like my parents shouldn’t have had me, it was irresponsible. I feel like as a general rule, people are selfish, and through that I have been abused and irreparably damaged. I used to be so excited about things and life and was such a happy kid, but I’ve been through too much now. There is millions […]
Ya all must be sick of me. I have no one in my life to talk to. No one. I’ve since lost the one friend I did talk to because she ultimately didn’t approve of the guy I fell for being so much as alive and breathing. Yeah that pissed me off, of course. But I’m alone. And stuck with being homeless. I’d have to quit my job just to have the time to look for a place, but then I couldn’t pay for it. It’s just never going to happen. I can’t make any sense of this life, working so hard just to be […]
So living with constant depression and daily suicidal thoughs has changed me and my mind into things I wish never existed. I think most people going through the same things would agree with me when I this.
1.) Everytime someone asks me if I am doing okay, I have to put a fake smile on my face and say I am fine because I don’t want people to see how much depression truly controls me.
2.) I can’t take my necessary daily medicines without thinking of overdosing.
3.) I can’t cross the road without the thought of wanting a car to hit me crossing my mind.
4.) I can’t […]
Something big hit me today when I was lying down on my bed. I have came to the realization there is nothing I actually want to do with my life. And when I say nothing I mean absolutely nothing. Everybody I have ever known has their own set of goals or things they want to do with their life. Whether that be in a loving relationship with kids, travel the world, go to concerts and parties,do any activities and so on. Everybody wants to do something.
Me? I want to do absolutely nothing. I don’t look at anything and be like I want to do this […]
drowning in your flesh
rotting in a cage
constant fear of mirrors
nausea when you look in one
dreaming about slicing off bad body parts and sewing on good ones
inability to look at a cis-person
feeling like a turd when your mom tells you to suck it up and quit begging for attention
envisioning yourself as a good-looking ideal-bodied person and feeling like the shit…but then the fantasy collapses and you’re back to square one with your awkward wrong body
It’s pretty unbearable. I can’t even get hormones for probably several years since my parents aren’t too supportive. I have an appointment with a gender therapist in two months, and that’s only […]
just going to sit on the beach by the lake.. be there around 4:30 AM so there isn’t much people there. Going to watch the sun come up one last time, have a drink or two, and my Remington will do the last of work. Goodbye, I’ve finally fucking grown the balls to do this, farewell and to all those struggling I wish you the best.
ps. Sorry for whoever finds my corpse. I know it’s gonna look pretty fucked up. I can’t help it.
I hate my life. Since childhood ive been neglected, hurt, lied to, and abandoned. I dont see a purpose to go to school and go to work everyday if we just die at the end. Ive tried to kill myself a numerous amount of time and everytime i look back i cry and say to myself “I was so close, i wish it would’ve taken me.” I just want to fucking die. I dont want to live anymore. Im tired all the time and no one knows what to do.
I just want to die today I’ve been hit with the most painful
Feelings, I can’t keep this up, I can’t keep feeling life is not going to get better. I would prefer to be dead. I can’t eat barely sleep, I’m so distressed I did yoga before and all I could think about was please let me end this. I’ve got no stability , no security, an addiction, one that won’t leave its grasps. I know the reason why I want to die is because of the addiction. But I have tried hundred of times to give up, I’ve been to countless rehabs , […]
So I need advice, to start off, I do cut. My mom says its because I cant cope and I think she’s right. When I get upset about something I go numb it seems like. I don’t talk to anyone, sleep, or eat. I tried crying, don’t do a damn thing. I cant cry to cope, so that leads to cutting. I’ve never cut to kill just to feel physical pain. I’d rather have physical then emotional pain. I’m addicted to cutting, like some people are to smoking. The thing that’s making me upset is a recent breakup, and my mom. My mom and I don’t […]