Thank you for reading my text because I feel totally alone right now. I grew with a rageful alcoholic mother who turned all her self-degregation on me. I always felt like a doll not a person and she was so very very scary–could slice with her words in a way that made you feel like nothing at all. But, I was well-liked at school and in sports– I tried so hard to be good. When I was a teenager, my father wrote me a letter telling me that I wasn’t worthy of being their daughter anymore. I had tried so […]
Tag:
Love
Tonite… I gave up… I am empty now… It happened right in front of you.. It all went away, and I could see things clearly, without emotion…
Tonite.. I accpted that I am not good enough, and I never will be.. That I never have been, It’s nobody’s fault but mine.. I dont know why.. I have always tried.. I have always failed.. I dont know why, but it doesn’t make sense to blame anyone else.. It can either be a fault in me that everyone else sees, or everyone but me is at fault.. whether I see it, know what it is, or accept it, […]
Hi,
My username is an anagram so if any of you care to do a little word play, you can figure out my real name, but thats not why I am here. I am here to tell you, the reader, a story. A story about me and why I want to die, yet cannot achieve presently.
I was born January 25, 1987. My mother was a drunk at the time and my father was smoking crank. I am the result of a one night stand. An accident turned paternal, if you will. My very first thought, I remember, was when I was still an infant, unable to […]
He is looking at me, I know, I can feel it. I’m too scared to look back, because if I will, I might fall in love with him agian. But I glance a bit and I prove myself that I was right, he is staring at me. I look away and say something to my friend. I laugh, but my heart is falling apart. I glance agian. He is not looking at me anymore.
Not long time ago I texted him. I said that I miss him and I asked him out on a date. No was the answer.
Bye bye, my dear.
But please, if You don’t like […]
Carry me home or just carry me away
Away from the horrors my own have seen
Carry me so far away my demons loose my track
The sea mends the shore’s broken sand
Just as you healed the wounds I caused with my hands
But now the memories seem like fog in the distance
Vague in my memory and my existence
But tell me my love? Does your mind ever tempt you?
Tempt to you go backwards?
To push rewind regardless of how much fast forward is screaming your name?
To listen to the lullabies of hushed sleep we shared?
Or to the beat of my heart that you’ve claimed?
Tell me dear, does the wind whisper […]
There lays a girl
in a large room, painted in white
yet the walls are darkened from the lack of light
one small window can only let in so much daylight.
Situated in the middle, eyes glued to the ceiling
wondering when the outside world will come to a halt
when the noise was disappear from her ears
yet it all still surrounds her.
Tears stream slowly, yet are not visible
screams would be heard
if only her voice wasn’t lost
for she is too afraid to be open to this world.
Day is coming to an end
yet it feels like no time has gone by
everything has always been that way
dull and the same.
How to escape
to feel alive
to […]
I sit here waiting for your text, but knowing it’ll never come.
I sit here waiting for my death, but knowing it’ll never be done.
I sit here waiting for the love of my life, but knowing he’ll never show.
I sit here waiting, cutting my wrists, but that’s something you’ll never know.
This isnt really my story but ill tell you anyway.
when i was growing up i had i close girl ‘friend’ who played with me every day. unlike me though, she was from a broken home and was abused by her dad, i was to young to understand at the time.she put up with this until she was a about 12 when her dad went for it and….well you can probably guess what happened, after that she tod the cops and they probably took him to prison.
it’s now 4 years after her dads gone (i dunno were she don’t tell me) and […]
my names shavon. im 15. i feel like one of those people from alcoholics anonymous. but really im suicide anonymous. i tried to commit suicide before. my arms are full of scars. my mom started physically and emotionally abusing me when i was 8. ever since then ive been looking for someone that could help me. nobody in my family helped me. i had a boyfriend named kody. and he used me and took my virginity. i tried to kill myself and he didnt even text me at all while i was in the hospital. i pushed my way through to recovery and got over […]
Hi again. Sorry I have not posted anything for a while. But I’ve been thinking…
I really and truly hate myself. There’s never actually been a moment in my life in which I’ve looked at myself and thought, “I love me,” to be honest. I just can’t help but feel as though I often mess things up and not please others as best I can. No matter how hard I try in school, I feel as though it’s not good enough. School is really frustrating and tiring, and every day I think about killing myself, whether I’m in a good mood or not. It just happens, […]
I don’t know how to make this a picture but click on the word you can see the cows at the farm I go to to get milk. They have the whole field to themselves and only a few are milked – and the others just hang out for months eating grass.
I love the light tan one on the right, but the one next to the spotty one was making me a little nervous. Â =)
ps. its one of the few places that makes me happy lately. =)
I wish I could give everyone who posts here a hug, validate that what each one of us is feeling is okay, and be there for each and every one to help you get through the day. Since I can’t do that individually and in person, I just wanted to let everyone know that there is someone in this world here who wants to. Sometimes just knowing that there is someone out there who cares, can be the extra push to get thorough the day. To all of you who need that extra someone, that extra push, that extra love and support, I care. I’m […]
For a long time i have felt but a hollow shell and unwanted/loved. NO matter what the incident is I am the one who is to yell at. Feeling unloved by my parents is the worst, I have never lived up to my sisters, straight A students, went to college, got good jobs. Me i don’t even get a second look by my parents. Listening to all the accomplishments my sisters have is annoying. I had always showed my love towards my family but since birth i was hated. Locked outside to “play” while my sisters watched TV. Sent to my room where their was […]
I still remember it.
As if it was just the other day.. But it wasn’t.. It was a while ago. But I still remember. My first kiss.
We hung out a lot that summer.. Doing a whole lot of nothing.. But just being with her gave me a good feeling.. Sometimes we’d play video games, listen to music, watch movies.. Or just sit and talk.. I miss those days.. Before everything became so complicated..
She had a thing for bitting.. She bit my ear a lot.. Eventually moving onto biting my nose.. When ever shed go to bite my nose, I’d tilt my head up slightly to […]
people want to act like there all big and bad but really in the inside there small and little and and i cant wait i iam not scared i am putting my self oout there i want to scream and i want to cry and let my anger and sadness out why i want to yell and wht did i do for this i owant to bleed because in reality ill be bleeding out what i feel but i dont want to let my love down he is the most important thing to me i hope hes not using me when i cut myself on […]
ive been thinking about this scince pi was born my aunt will hit me when i went to go live with her and my mom well i was a mistake to begin with i dont know if i can do this i live for my baby sister and my love but in reality im dieing i tried to drink hydrogen proixde but my best freiend dumped it out on the grass i was putting it in my mouth she thought i wasent gonna do it and i risk everything everyday living people will be like if u do that u will do that and i […]
I was in love with this boy. He had black hair, bright blue eyes, and scars on his arms. He held me in his arms everyday I saw him. He grabbed my hand when he saw hopelessness in my eyes. He kissed me when I felt alone. What else could I have asked for? When we were in bed naked, lying next to each other, he’d kiss the scars on my arms. The bruises on my hands. The burns on my wrist. I was in love, so deep, that I would have never imagined the day to come that he’d no longer want me. Love […]
Someone please read, give me any advice you can. I am in desperate need of it.
by helplessles
written by helplessles
This is going to be long, I apologize in advance. I guess I can start by saying I am a 16 year old girl, although I hardly resemble a girl, and very depressed. I have been depressed for almost 2 years. I self harm, but cutting usually, I’ll pull my hair in the extremely emotionally painful moments, or I’ll pinch my arms. Its been a year since I have posted here, but I’m in need of some type of empathy. My family on a scale from 1-10, is a good strong 7.5, we have our fights, but i generally thing we all do love one and […]
I’m not loved. Does it matter whether I am getting it or not. The fact is I don’t feel it. And that is a damning realization. I twist this absence into hatred and aim it inwards. What happens after is of no concern to me.
I know love is a conjured idea yet I can’t help what I feel. It could easily be something on a much smaller scale I’ve yet to appreciate.