sometimes i just feel like i dont wanna live anymore, due to my family’s financial problem.. its not like we’re super rich,, we’re just so so.. we’re not poor either.. but still eventho i know my parents still can afford my living, i still think tht my brother get more then me (in terms of money), he goes to expensive school but i cant. he travels a lot but i cant. and lot of stuffs.. just this kinda comparison is killing me.. i do love my parents, but i hate them due to this problem.. wtf,, i know like im not as smart as him, […]
Tag:
Love
im ready to. but I CANT. idk i must be this fucking stupid, i cant even kill myself, i fail..ive failed 15 times! though bout 11 were lousy attempts only to feel some pain in the end. im done, life is not fair. well damn that is right. school starts tuesday…im ok with that..i want my phone though…i either get it next week or in november for my birthday…(so my sister says) i partially believe her cuz dad said i get it back..i need my phone to fix my relationship…damn that sounds pathetic. ugh i feel ignored…alone. but im not. i have an amazing bf […]
so i dont know why i put myself through all this bullshit. well i got a job..yay:/ i made my parents happy and i guess its good because that means extra money in my pocket for razors, diet pills and cigs. maybe its what i need. i was with her all day..im just going to call her T but thats beside the fact. im seeing my ex boyfriend who im still madly in love with and i just could date him because i know how fucked up i am and i never want to hurt him and i just want him to be happy. but […]
So I finally in past months accepted the fact I’m bad person/human being. Why am I, well many things. I have either been told these things by random people or overheard them saying it and noticed most of it myself. I am in general unlikable, most people are very insincere to me. Most people ignore me or distance themselves. Even in best times when I was trying to be upbeat and involved in making things in my life better people still seemed to since something. I was overweight till 21(260 plus pounds), lost weight(135 pounds). Didn’t change much, I just developed a eating disorder that […]
2. Year college student. Finished my first year with straight A’s. Got completely burntout.
This triggered a major depression. Have had issues since i was 12- 13. Anxiety disorders, OCD, depression, suicidal thoughts. Also suffering from existential angst. Also inferiority complex and self-loathing
Also have some love-related issues
I seem to be way too exhausted to get good grades this term. The semester just started sso i have the opportunity to take take a half-year leave to recover. In the future however i would just take that as a token of how a massive failure i am. Also i feel that everyone would despise me over something […]
I consider myself very blessed. I have a good job, I am somewhat successful even though I am not wealthy. My family is did functional but who’s is not. For the last month I have been feeling down. I had a bad break up a while ago and I was doing fine, seeing other people and just having fun. But lately I cannot break free from this hold over me, I hardly eat I am easily angered and I lost interest in my hobbies. I feel as if I am lost in a crowd. I feel like I am doomed to loneliness for eternity. I […]
i Never Had a good Relationship with my Mom, she was Always out of the picture & on Drugs.
i Always wanted a mom Like The other kids in 4th Grade that would come & pick you up from school & just love you unconditionally. We fought , And Argued, She Told me She was Leaving Agian To NewMexico, i didnt really mind she had left multiple times . When she had gotten up there she called me maybe a month later saying she was pregnant, i Hated the Man she was with , He gotten her to take heroine agian, and she wasnt the same, She Said to me , […]
oh my love, oh my dear
what i gave you was so dear
oh my love, oh my dear
what i gave you was so dear
loved you dear, just so, dear
loved you dear, oh so, dear
gave you a love, gave you a heart
all you gave me a broken heart
gave you a love, gave you a heart
all you gave me a broken heart
I would love to believe in a God or a higher meaning, or that memories (or anything for that matter) persist after death. But I can’t. So with that in mind, what difference does it make if I decide to hang myself today or die in 50+ years?
I am leaving love around the corner with the heavens.
I am not an angel
Nor ever will be
I am something else from the darkness now.
I am leaving that side of myself where it was orignally from.
I will never be a princess
I will never be
Something that had love.
I am sorry I have failed
Memories are dead and gone, anyways
It doesn’t matter
I made a huge mistake, Tried to fix it, but I failed.
Will never be fixable ever again.
Isolation is who i was ever since
I don’t care anymore.
I don’t need help
I’m just tired of fighting for something i will never have… again
The stars have faded
and so has everything else.
Goodbye hopeless […]
Fuck. My life has never been worse. I mean, there have been and are really shitty things in my life. Things I can’t control. But it has got to the point where I can’t see a way out anymore.
I realise that I have a lot to live for. My family really needs me, as do my friends. They all love me. I am  trying really hard to keep up my academic side. I was actually focusing on that when the shit storm hit.
I had a boyfriend. Fuck that is depressing having to write that in the past tense. People say stupid shit like ‘Oh yeah, […]
Is the pleasures of the afterlife being good to you? Or is religion correct and are you suffering for being who you were just like you were here? I never understood why you went back on your word right in front of me that night and did what you did, but now I do. The loneliness, betrayal, judgment and depression all got to you. You felt like no one understood you, and I thought you were wrong, but now I realize that you were right, no one did understand you or your struggles, not even me. I’m still not sure if I did the right […]
I’ve had the best life before, everything i ever wanted, was so good, A loving man, New car, New condo, Great job and people who love me, But that changed so really my time is done here, I just waiting for the right moment and the right way to go, Damn this feels so good! Anyway, my ex could be coming back to my lofe, we we together 4 years, hes so amazing, but i live in Ga now and hes in FL. So anyway, my point is, yes weve all been through rough times, and sometimes is not worth going on living, but you […]
I estimate this fight has been going on for a grueling decade now. As a juvenile I made an attempt. It’s been my only attempt. However, the thoughts never subsided. I learned in this last year that they can get worse. But I still try to carry on. Act as though they don’t exist. These thoughts are very much real I’m sad to say.
Ive tried seeking help. I started by informing my family. As they did when I was a juvenile, it was brushed off. I’ve learned to not tell them much about my life. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t abused as child. I […]
I lost myself in his eyes, I even told him I would marry him and have his baby. It wasnt good enough for him. He found love somewhere else, yet im the *****, im the WHORE, crying alone in the corner. Ive been a shattered jar for years and its never enough to have me apparently, I agree with his malice. Ive taken 27 pills and im really hoping that it works this time, I want to make him happy by saying goodbye. Im no longer a barbie doll, im no longer the apple of his eye. I love you Dean, see you again someday […]
I love venting on here, im just so fucked in my head, i cant see right, really am not taking much more, for real, i dont really care about anything anymore, and thatsmo re re
I want help, but I want to carry on with this alone. I want my parents to realize that I’m not OK, but I don’t want them to get into my issues. I want to be with my friends, but I feel like I’m in other dimension whenever I’m with them. I want to love myself, but I have never hated me so much. I want the voices in my head to shut up, but they’re the only actual company I have. I want to die, but I want to live.
My chemical romance, just thought it was worth posting..
Famous Last Words lyrics
Songwriters:Â Iero, Frank; Pellisier, Matt; Toro, Raymond; Way, Gerard; Way, Mikey;
Now I know that I can’t make you stay
But where’s your heart?
But where’s your heart?
But where’s your?
And I know there’s nothing I could say
To change that part
To change that part
To change
So many bright lights to cast a shadow, but can I speak?
Well, is it hard understanding I’m incomplete?
A life that’s so demanding, I get so weak
A love that’s so demanding, I can’t speak
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to […]
I don’t Know What Should I do.. Who Should I Talk.. I Am Going to die Soon..
by Shivi
written by Shivi
I am Just a Person Like you all.. I also live a Unwanted life.. I am living but nobody can see that By each Passing day I am dieing.. I am killing myself inside.. My soul is no more.. I am Spiritually dead.. But I physically Smile Only for the ones who love Me.. And I don’t know why!
I know how it feels to cry alone in the blanket.. just crying and crying!! I don’t know what my future gonna be! My Parents constantly giving me Tensions and Tensions.. I am Killing myself inside in these Stress tensions..
Sometimes I feel “Relations are everything and the […]
Honestly, this is killing me. Everyday, I wake up..
My mom is on drugs and she wants nothing to do with me,
My brother is in prison.. And dad’s getting older. Nothing easy anymore.
Guys, (girls) This isnt a cry for help. This is an honest statement.
I can’t go on much longer.
I’m in a relationship with someone I’m so in love with, but I get ignored on a daily basis.
It hurts more than anything. I could be happy. I really could, but not like this.
I’ve attempted suicide 5 times
I have scars, and I’ve be committed into the hospital 3 times.