I’m new to this, I’ll admit. I just happened to stumble upon this and started reading stories and it gave me this breif moment of feeling secure in telling my story. I’ll be honest in that my story isn’t that bad and is really quite dumb, but now that I’ve found this breif confidence, I have to let it out and hope that maybe someone will hear me and understand my pain. I’ve contemplated suicide, I even planned out how my funeral would go, but I’m afraid to upset my friends, afraid that they’ll blame themselves, but they don’t know any of this. I’ve never […]
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Love
Its seriously amazing at what you can hide by just putting on a smile. I am currently struggling with anxiety disorder, depression, and an eating disorder (Ednos). I hate my body and my self esteem is broken. Every time I talk to a guy, I have to back off because I don’t think I deserve to be loved. If I can’t even love myself ya know? I feel bad for anyone to ever like me because I have to hide how emotionally damaged I am. They don’t deserve to love me I’m tooo broken to deserve shit. I just want to be happy. No one […]
The idea of killing myself is becoming more and more frequent, the plans, the ideas, the notes.. I have written so many of them.
If only she could see that I am suffering without her.. That I am lost, hopeless.. alone. Life seems so meaningless, so insignificant. My mind has sunk deep into an abyss of sadness and sorrow. I don’t know how much more I can take.
She was my world. Yet she left me.. Left me with no explanation. As time passed I worked it out. She left me for someone else. Someone I have know since I was a kid, initially I […]
I do not believe that I will live to see the next year. I have no exact date yet to fulfill my plan, but I do not believe that I can carry on much long. I still have many things to do, to make things as painless as possible for my dearest ones. There so much to do, but in the end I’ll be at peace.
For years I’ve been handling this feelings, but nowadays I mostly feel emptiness. I’ve been tired too long to carry on anymore for long, and I’m sorry for that. I’m just too tired and empty. I just hope that they […]
I came across this site in a search for uncharmed. My heart breaks at some of the stories I’ve read. I love you all. Kick butt, be happy, and screw everyone that makes you feel otherwise.
I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade, to help me pretend,
to sheild me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it’s followed by acceptance,
if it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me
of what I can’t assure myself,
that I’m really worth something.
I don’t like to hide.
I don’t like to play superfical phony games.
I […]
Don’t be fool by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I’m afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature to me,
but don’t be fooled.
For God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
that confidence is my name and coolness is my gane,
that the water’s calm and I’m in command,
and that I need no one.
But don’t believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface
is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to […]
Where do i even begin? I am 18 years old and i lost the people who pretty much raised me at a young age and developed depression before i had hit the third grade. Then i found out i had cancer, ive been fighting that for almost a year now and ive gone through so many surgeries and dont know what to say about it. But the weight of the sickness and the looming thought of dying and just having peace finally is so enticing i long for it. But then seven months ago i met the most amazing person i k.ow the person thats […]
I know no one cares and no one wants to read this, but I want to tell the truth about myself.  I am a complete joke, I am desperately in love with someone, they mean the world to me, I would happily die for them, but I will never get to be with them, even if I only see a glimpse of their face, it has made my whole week, I would do anything just to say hello and for them to acknowledge me. Because I know I will never be with them, I have made it the sole purpose of my life to make extraordinary achievements,  so that maybe one day they […]
If I wasn’t already having a bad day.
Damn those stupid door knocking god thumping freaks.
You know nothing about me so who are you to call me a damn sinner and NO i don’t want you to leave me a bible and NO I don’t want you coming back next week to teach me to love a god that don’t bloody exist
My nightmares
When children have nightmaresÂ
It’s usually of the dark
Fears born from lies
Thoughts born from the unknownÂ
Their dreams are plagued with monsters and ghosts, darkness and ghouls.Â
They wake up knowing that it was just a dream
That in reality there’s nothing to fear but fear itself
Oh how I wish I was still like that
Because in my dreams monsters serve me, ghosts fear me, ghouls fall for me and darkness is my kingdom.Â
these are my happy dreams
The ones I hope to relive
You see, my mind is kind of flipped on its lid.Â
My nightmares are of love
Of happiness
Of caring
I can’t take life anymore i just need to die now, I’m new to this site just wanna express myself.
Ive suffered from depression for a year and half now, i used to be on 100ml anti depressants but they did nothing for me just made me lifeless and made me think more. Which made me worse, I used to have to go and see a Psychologist but he wasn’t helping at all so i just stopped attending.  I have tried suicide before through Severely cutting my wrists a lot with a scalpel, which actually hurt alot. Ever since i thought that i couldn’t kill myself… Didn’t have the […]
I push people away when I’m afraid, because I don’t think they could ever handle my feelings, I’m still trying.
Have you ever had one of those days, when you just hate everything? And even dropping your pen makes you want to break down and cry?
I always feel as if I treat people right, I strive to make sure the people I love are alright, even the ones that hate me. But have you ever had someone that continues to tell you that they dont deserve you? or they just keep rejecting your love? but they still stick around. It confuses me, do you […]
All things around me are not helping. people , norms, society, even animals .
they are not accepting me , I want to live in a different country or to die in reality instead of dying daily in such place .
I’m gay and have been love with two guys who didn’t care less about me . I ask myself all the time what did I do to get this hell in my life ? I started doubting religion which was my only hope on this unfair life .
why would people be that cruel ? or it’s only me who can’t get along ?
I can’t even […]
I love my life.
The thought has crossed my mind way more than once. Its sad how I have no one to talk to about this. Even my own family. They would judge me. I have gotten close to killing my self but in the end I don’t have enough strength to pull through. And I am not sure if that is a sign or just me being scared. I feel alone, unwanted, forgotten. I was a mistake. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t born. My life is a living hell. With school and family I don’t know how to pull through. My family is falling apart […]
I’m really confused this month, I feel like shit. I haven’t felt this sort of way in a while, usually I’d just shrug it off as me being a little ***** (and maybe it is), but it feels different this time.
About a year and a half ago I fell in love with this girl who I sort of dated for about a week, and by that I mean we live a city apart so we didn’t hang out physically very often, it was mostly over Skype and Facebook. But I really really liked her, she meant the world to me. Up until then I hadn’t […]
I hate it when you like someone so much, but their in love with someone that repeatedly hurts them but their to loyal just like you. you just want to be like dump her ass and date me goddammit. why can’t people sees what they have when its right in front of them. I hate feeling they make me feel weak.
Hm well I haven’t really felt any better since the last rant.
I’ve finally finished it with my long term on and off boyfriend of 4 years, I don’t feel bad about it at all, i am not in love with him anymore, but I do still love and care about him, he doesn’t seem to understand how you can feel that. He also can’t stand hearing about my “life” with other people.
Is it bad to have slept with more people than your actual age?
I don’t regret any of the things I’ve done ever! I did regret not doing drugs, but ha i […]
That shocked me. I’m not really suicidal, not really. I’m not brave enough to try. But my whole life, I’ve just been waiting to die. Because I don’t feel loveable. I feel like I exist just to bring misery to others, and that it’s my only purpose. My brothers called me Burden when I was little. I never wanted to be that. All I have ever wanted, my whole life, was for someone to look at me, and know me, from my charmingly crafted outer-persona to how I really feel, and just… Still like me. Still care about me. Every single person who I ever […]
I read about all these teenagers and people in their early 20s feeling suicidal. I remember being in that age group and feeling the same way. Hope always got me through. Now I’m 51. I’m single. Nothing to show for my life except that I’ve survived. That’s my accomplishment. I still feel like giving up. Every day. Themes such as ‘hope’ and ‘potential’ don’t mean as much once you cross into your 50s. I used to think that one day I would meet a girl and we would fall in love have a great life together with children and family trips and I would be […]