When i want to feel the love that everyone surrounds me with , I can’t . I feel so alone and empty , i wish i knew a way out that does not involve hurting myself . I just want everything to be okay again . I do not want anxiety , fear , pain , sadness, or anything . I just want to be … well i don’t know what i want to be . If i cant be lonely and upset , what else is there?
Today I found out about one more person I know who has cancer. Seems like there has been so many and so many deaths lately and I guess my point in all that is that I would trade them in a heart beat. It makes no sense to me why someone like me who could give a shit if I am on this crap planet another second lives and someone else who wants to live, gets cancer or some other illness. I am 39 years old and question everything I have ever done in my life. Question who I am, question it all. I am […]
Lately I’ve been through a lot of stuff, well it’s my senior year and I really need to think about what I am going to do with the rest of my life, the thing is my mom is putting a lot of pressure on me so I study what she thinks is better, you see my mom is a mess, I love her I wish I wouldn´t honestly maybe that way I would not care about what she does or says, she hurts me she was upset and she told me I was her mistake that she did not wanted to make the same mistakes […]
im only 11 and ive already had alot of suiside thoughts i feel useless to the world what the point of this everyone judges me and picks on me. resently my best friends mom died of colen cancer (RIP cythea curro) that brought me down i know if i comite suiside my bff will turn to it 2. im afraid of death, i never try and cut myself. my older brother is the worst, he tells me ill die a vergin he tells me ,”go to hell” “no one cares 4 u” he doesnt help. and just about a month ago my very 1st boyfriend […]
i cut. not too much. i wasnt gonna do as much as i did. but its not too much i dont think. it doesnt seem so bad to me really. well ill just post a few pctures of it. so yeah thats it. i find them to be beautiful. please dont judge me.
i just have to. i cant not do it any longer. im going to cut. once again. the last time i cut was in early october. that was a really long time ago. at least it seems to me like it has been forever. every night i think about it. and i am CRAVING to do it. last night before i was going to sleep i was going to do it. but it was too close to the time my brother and mom wake up and i cant risk getting caught. my mom already wants me to do some psychiatric thing. i dont want to […]
i feel so depressed. especially because im at home. i dont have the one person i wish was with me. i saw her today(my best friend that is). my parents wanted me to go to the store with them, but this morning i told my mom i dont wanna go anywhere. and when they left i went right to her house. but i feel sooo bad for what did. i enable her. soo much. and i hate it. she is an addict. even though its hard for me to say that and it breaks my heart to know that. its true though. and i am […]
please.. Make the pain go away.. I’ll do anything!!
I like a total of three guys…
1. Aaron- lives far away and is always busy so we can’t really talk
2. John- lives far away
3. Garrett- lives close… But it seems like he only wants me sexually,
Love and life is so hard!!
I hurt to much! I don’t know if I can go on… I’m expecting a breakdown anyway now… I know I’ll have one… Just I don’t know when….
Please, help me!
I had an absolutely amazing life for the longest time. I’m not attractive and I’m shy, but I had amazing and wonderful friends, very good grades, and I was happy. Over the summer I had to move across the country with my family. I am miserable here. Nobody talks to me, and they all look at me strangely at school because I’m punk and I have piercings and I’m not the most attractive person. I have no friends and no one to talk to. I tell my parents I’m upset and I can’t do this anymore, but they tell me it will pass and I […]
For some reason I feel I have to constantly punish myself for every mistake I make but am so unrelentingly harsh on myself everyone notices it, and sometimes ask why? I’ve always felt like I’m a total waste of space and often look at people around my age, 39, or younger who are successful and feel really threatened… and I think, what’s wrong with me? I mean I’m not exactly uneducated, unintelligent or untalented yet I feel like I’m such an utter loser and total failure in life I wanna hide forever. That I’m a fucked up, no hoping basket case! I used to have a […]
If I die young – The Band Perry
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh, uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh well
Life ain’t always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain’t even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in […]
this is what i sent to lauren earlier, it might not make much sense to your guys but its basically wha happened to me today….:/ <3
‘Ok…. So Mr Gregory tried to make me talk to Una when you left, I refused to step into her office, and then Lydia turned up…. I started to break down at this point. We all then went to sirs office and Miss Gentry was there, she said that if it was just about earlier then I should just go back to lesson, Lydia walked me to art and asked Miss Glover if she could take me to talk about […]
I HATE THIS. I feel so many things, and at the same time I feel nothing. I spend part of my day believing that everything will turn out alright, and I spend the other part wondering how I can even fathom waking up tomorrow. I’ve managed to turn my life upside down (feel free to have a look at previous posts for something of an explanation, if you really care). I’ve hurt one of the people I love and need most. Not that she knows how much I need her in my life. She said I keep too much to myself, that I’m too secretive. […]
are we half alive when we dream? or do we dream because we are half alive? would life be better if we were in a dream? if we continue as we are when we die.. how do we know some of us arnt already dead? what do we live for? if we have pain and hate and love and death… how can we be happy? tragic things … what makes life all worth it.. if nothing was worth it.. wede all be gone… so obviasly … there is always sompthing worth living for… what if we never felt pain.. even though … life has torn […]
Verse 1:
Surrounded by all these people
Not one of them I call by name
The occasional friend that’s never there
Yeah it’s close but not the same
Not the same as you
Not the same as us
But I guess there wasn’t anything there
I guess there never was
Never any love
Just the pain that you left behind
I guess I knew you didn’t love me
It was only a matter of time
And
Pre-Chorus:
Now I have
Something to say
Words of advice
To live by everyday
And there’s no holding back now
It’s time that you should know
Exactly what I have […]
Do You Love Me?
You’re nice and sweet
And pretty too,
But i need to know
What i have to do.
One day it’s yes,
The next it’s no,
Is it all
Just one big show?
I feel like a puppet
And you the puppet master,
Spinning me into another
New devastating disaster.
So just answer this
And all will be,
Better because
I’ll feel set free.
Do you or don’t you
Have feelings for me,
Because i did and do
And i still believe.
That there’s hope still alive
Hiding somewhere,
Deep inside of you
Yet you’re still unware.
Yes or No
Is all im asking for,
I don’t know why
But it’s time to open or shut this door.
Because the wait
Is killing me,
And […]
I’m wishing every night
On that “magical” time of day
When the clock strikes11 past 11
I’m wishing for the pain to go away.
I’m wishing for Christmas this year
Not to go awry,
I’m thinking of all the world’s problems
I’m asking God why.
What did they do to be bullied
Or to be given cancer
Why all my desperate prayers
Never quite seem to get answered.
I’m thinking “Why me?”
Then instantly regretting it
Thinking of the other kids
With death and hunger setting in.
They have no food
And they must starve
And I, a selfish man,
Think that my life is hard?
But I cant help wishing
Wanting a perfect life
A life free of the pain
The heartache, the strife.
And all along
My most […]
I love this site!I love It cause I can relate to everyone one here and sorry I sound happy on a un-happy site but I feel that I can relate and be more comfortable with a person that’s In my shoes or close to my shoes.Does anyone wanna talk??????…….I qoinq to the hospital tomorrow,I was suppose to qo today but they didn’t have a bed for me.qoinq tomorrow morninq:/
I’m scared I’m going to lose the only thing that I love. The only thing I live for..
It’s like she’s slipping away and I can’t stop her from leaving me. I had a major freak out last night and cried till my lungs hurt. I can’t live like this knowing that my best friend/girlfriend  can just leave me alone and hurt at any time. I know she’s going to hurt me in the end. It’s sick. I’m sick.
All I want to do is die before she or anyone else can hurt me.
Truth, I’m here for a school project of my choice. Truth, I may have caused an attempted suicide and I fell for the friend who’s father shot himself on christmas…his life’s fucked up. Truth, I have nothing to complain about, I don’t get raped, I have two parents(stepdad but whatever) that love me and feed me and give me a roof over my head, I don’t live in a thrid world country, I’m going to get a higher education, and yet scary thoughts or thinking of lame relationships get me down…some memories or places trigger depression yet i havent been diagnosed…i guess i don’t need […]