Tag:

Many Things

Hurry up and wait

by toxicluminoth 9/27/2013

written by toxicluminoth

I’m so ready to be done with it. I’ve got my setup just waiting for me to go peacefully into the quiet dark. It calls to me every night. This feeling in my chest physically hurts me and my brain is simply exhausted. But my plan calls on me to wait.

If I do it right, I’ll help a lot of people in the process. Until December, it’s just building up my savings so I’ll have something worthwhile to leave behind and cover my expenses. I don’t think I’ll be able to wait until then. I’m trying to be considerate to those who have to clean […]

9/27/2013 5 comments

Variance

by clevername 9/25/2013

written by clevername

It just blows my mind, how so many people of all different walks of life, from all over the world, with fundamentally different and incompatible views/mindsets/perspectives/religions/etc. …

All find too much wrong with the world, too much wrong with life in this world, that they often feel they would rather just die, than continue living.

People say life is beautiful… but our world today is so ugly (arguably, primarily due to the people in it), that all kinds of different people who otherwise have nothing in common, are seeing so much wrong, with so many things, in so many ways, that a group of incompatible people has […]

9/25/2013 28 comments

Eleven months

by snader 8/25/2013

written by snader

Have to get this off my chest.

It’s eleven months ago today. Eleven months since he killed himself, my dear brother.
You know, the longest I ever had to miss him was 10 days. That was when he left for a camp with a youth movement. And I remember missing him so badly, I just couldn’t wait to see him again. I still can’t believe he’s not coming back now, I mean, how can he be gone? How can a life, built up over 16 long years, just disappear in a second?
If a stranger would come in our house, they wouldn’t even know he’s not […]

8/25/2013 4 comments

by Whateverbell 8/21/2013

written by Whateverbell

I haven’t been on here in months and I won’t deny that things have actually gotten much worse. I mean one minute I’m saying “I got this, I can make it” and the next I’m saying “okay I’ll just end it all on my 21st birthday.” My feelings go back and fourth. And now it’s just all coming back. My plan was to end it all on my 21st. To see if things ever get better. I realize that im still young, and all that, but some people just weren’t meant for life. Sometimes I feel bad because I wasn’t put through so much torture […]

8/21/2013 3 comments

I’m lucky, I know

by vhanne 8/20/2013

written by vhanne

I know there are so many things to be grateful for. We are not poor, I have a relatively high paying job, a college education, I have friends, my parents are okay, I have food everyday, I am not abused, I have talents, I do not have any major problems that could be the stuff of movies or tv shows, at times I am even considered to be physically attractive by some. On the outside, I am just normal, who have NO RIGHT TO BE DEPRESSED.

But deep inside I feel dysfunctional, I cannot stop myself from dumping negative feelings in my social media accounts, and […]

8/20/2013 3 comments

venting

by helloiamdepressive 8/19/2013

written by helloiamdepressive

just venting again.. anyways.. so I just recently broke up w my gf.. it wasn’t that long of a relationship.. but it was love, and something i haven’t felt in like.. more than 5 years..

of course i fucked it up.. cuz i went all psycho on her like i did all of my ex gf’s who of course dumped me because of the same reason.. so here I am.. always caught up in my negativity.. and because of it I haven’t even finished school yet..

I look at all my other friends and my sister’s boyfriend.. they’ve got jobs, friends, and gf’s.. i can barely […]

8/19/2013 0 comment

So many thoughts

by bohomermaid 8/19/2013

written by bohomermaid

I have so many thoughts in my head right now that I can feel the weight of them pushing me down. There is so much going on at one time in my life right now that I don’t know how to sort it all out or how to even begin to deal with it. First there is all my friends leaving; I knew this was coming but for some reason in my sick and twisted world I had made myself believe that I had so much time to say goodbye and that summer was just going to last forever and no one was really going […]

8/19/2013 6 comments

It’s never just one thing…

by Fly 8/18/2013

written by Fly

I know the knife I would use, its sharp and would do the trick.

Do I want to do it to get attention or to end the pain?

I am a mum of 3 kids, life should be rosy, but I am slowly falling into this space of ‘It would be easier f I wasn’t here’

So many things have compounded for me to be in this space that I am in.

Where so I start? We all have problems, life is not without them. But when they start to grow and each day becomes more of a burden than a blessing…Whats the point, I think I suck at […]

8/18/2013 10 comments

today

by bohomermaid 8/14/2013

written by bohomermaid

My dad asked me why I was depressed. I cried and walked away. I’m not sure if I cried because there are so many things that I could never tell him without breaking his heart, or the fact that someone in my family is finally starting to notice that something is wrong with me.

8/14/2013 1 comment

Inside a mind

by Sherlock 8/3/2013

written by Sherlock

Many things people think about sociopaths is that they are dishonest, narcissistic, and unremorseful. We are, but I promise you I’ve never killed a puppy. Nor am I a serial killer. I’m most certainly not Mr. Sherlock Holmes. I am very intelligent and clever, though. To be honest, I can fake empathy very well.

Believe it or not, sociopaths can be depressed. I am living proof of that. While I cannot feel sorry for you, I can very well feel sorry for myself. It’s all in the level of psychopathy.Â I admit it, I’m self centered. I won’t be naive and deny it. My therapist says that […]

8/3/2013 1 comment

The illusion of freedom

by PainNlife 8/1/2013

written by PainNlife

We are not free. We are cattle. We are managed and oppressed debt slaves…The world is one big farm. I don’t know if other people realize things like I have. They say “slavery” has been abolished but it hasn’t. Its been redefined and covered up so that you do not know you are a slave. How? you ask… Well because of how slavery works. If you keep a cow confined in a tight box it will bash its head against the cage and kill or injure itself…but If you allow it more room to operate it becomes more productive and gets more money for the […]

8/1/2013 30 comments

I just want to sit down and have everything stop

by hateself 7/24/2013

written by hateself

as a person I can generally endure alot losing friends, doing bad in school, arguments with my family, deadlines, a slowly declining bank account and other daily stresses i can survive a lot on my own but today everything kindof just got to me a litl bit. Today i felt my heart seriously racing im not even exagerrating it got to the point where i thought i was gona hav a heart attack. Im on the skinny side too it wasnt really due to physiological causes it was mostly just me getting to that level of stress. im striving to b a doctor/surgeon n im […]

7/24/2013 1 comment

I don’t know what to put here…

by theoneforgottenkid 7/17/2013

written by theoneforgottenkid

I am scared that I will kill myself one of these days.

I am a Christian. I was raised in an environment that told me suicide is a sin (the whole suicide is the murder of oneself, and murder is a no-no).

I am an immigrant. My parents emigrated from their birth place so I could have a better future. I’m tired of being such a failure to them. I know that I’ve fallen way short from their expectations and I feel like I’ve failed them when they’ve placed so much hope in me. I feel like I’m a waste of space, a financial drain on them. […]

7/17/2013 2 comments

Trapped

by Tormenting Dreams 7/9/2013

written by Tormenting Dreams

damn, this ghastly insomnia has caught up to me again. It seems i am trapped in my own mind.
its never a pleasant experience when i am caught up in my own thoughts. idea’s and realizations take hold and i cannot shake them, ergo what led me to self harm in the first place.
but on a rare occasion a wondrous idea takes root, and itÂ is great at first, but then i become fixated on it, it is in my every thought and dream. it makes me feel new and whole and like there is a point to the future after all.
but then […]

7/9/2013 3 comments

I hate Today and tomorrow

by The End 7/8/2013

written by The End

I’m so sick of just waking up to what the world has become now. I’m just a ball of hatred building up it’s sickening that society is so absolutely fucking pathetic. I could die right now and no one would even care. I look at the positive, but their are not many things pleasant to look at. I don’t have friends and am not close to anyone, people are all the same. People honestly disgust me on how they act there is no one decent on this fucking world its just self preservation.

7/8/2013 3 comments

Trapped

by Tormenting Dreams 7/3/2013

written by Tormenting Dreams

damn, this ghastly insomnia has caught up to me again. It seems i am trapped in my own mind.

its never a pleasant experience when i am caught up in my own thoughts. idea’s and realizations take hold and i cannot shake them, ergo what led me to self harm in the first place.

but on a rare occasion a wondrous idea takes root, and itÂ is great at first, but then i become fixated on it, it is in my every thought and dream. it makes me feel new and whole and like there is a point to the future after all.

but then i bore of […]

7/3/2013 2 comments

Here I Am

by Olivia Katelynn 6/14/2013

written by Olivia Katelynn

Never thought I’d end up here again.

Im sitting on my bed with a pile of pills in front of me and i dont know whether or not to do it. It seems like everyone has given up on me. My mother saw my cuts and everything started falling apart. My sisters have nothing to do with me any more. My parents send me to my room a lot. My friends exclude me from many things. I just want to be normal. I want the cuts to heal, but they cant if i keep making new ones. I dont know why i cant stop.

Im a fail. […]

6/14/2013 3 comments

the verge.

by Charlotte 6/5/2013

written by Charlotte

Is it normal to take this long to get to sleep? for the last few days so many things have been on my mind. lately its been taking me at least 3 hours to get to sleep. i feel so tired, but i just cant manage to sleep well. i feel like i am on the verge of insomnia. Â ive tried listening to music. ive tried reading a book, and even just forcing my eyes shut and lying in bed for hours.

i need to clear my head.

but i dont know how.

6/5/2013 1 comment

The Butterfly

by I.cant.breathe! 5/28/2013

written by I.cant.breathe!

Iâ€™m no longer myself anymore. Iâ€™ve morphed into something so beautiful, yet so fragile. Like a butterfly. I started off as a small egg. Then I was hatched, brought into a world where there were larger things than I. Things that were sure to destroy me. I was pummeled and shown horrors no little caterpillar should. All the while I spent my time absorbing and eating up the words that were viciously thrown at me. I chose to listen. I guess eventually the little caterpillar me had had enough,so I formed walls around me. I was to stay there forever. Safe, and warm, and perfectly […]

5/28/2013 2 comments

Randomly

by clevername 5/22/2013

written by clevername

So often… i have so many thoughts i feel compelled to express, but so little energy to spend on articulating and verbalizing them. Even that first line was difficult.

But then i start doing math, and think: who would see? of those, who would listen? of those, who would understand? of those, who would care?

And even if i could share every one of my most meaningful thoughts, with, say, 100 people who would see, read, listen, understand, and care… what good would it really do?

And even if it would do a little bit of good… it wouldn’t be enough… for Me.

So, often, i have all these […]

5/22/2013 15 comments

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