I am a 20 year old female attending university within my home town. I honestly feel lost within my own life. I am a waste of space. I do not know how to cook, terrible at cleaning, and struggle to manage a workload in school that others would find easy. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder. I was never social as a child; I can’t go up to someone and start a conversation. I had a happy childhood, up to a point. Our home has come under disrepair within the past decade or so. I love my parents, at least I […]
Tag:
Medications
Hello. I have been suicidal since my teens and I am now 23.
2 months ago I became homeless (I have been staying at a shelter for  young adults and it is also where I met my 18 year old boyfriend).  1 month ago I got pink eye and started treating it about 2 weeks ago trying 2 different medications, I am going to get it checked again today;…it is *really* bothering me and I cannot get rid of it. I also have eczema and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (which is why I really want to end it).  I also want to be genderless and not have […]
Trying to kill myself was the best thing that could’ve happened. Because if I hadn’t tried to and if I hadn’t failed, I wouldn’t feel the urge to change how I felt and I wouldn’t have gone to Four Winds. It was tricky, I had just enough of the Nortatryptaline to go into coma but I just ended sleeping for a straight 48 hours. I then didn’t leave my house for an entire week and was drinking so much, I decided physical pain would have been the answer to everything. I cut the word help into my arm and cried myself to sleep that night. […]
I cannot go five minutes without thinking about commiting suicide. Â I dont know what to do. Â Have started on medications and counselling, but it only seems to be getting worse. Â I am so lonely where i live, but my parents are dependent on me and hence cannot die.
I am not in a prison, yet i feel like i am solitary confinement most of the time. Â I go to office every week day, gym almost every day. Â Yet, when I return to my lonely house, I feel like i am getting locked up in a prison.
I just need someone to talk to without them judging […]
Since I was seventeen I have suffered from an anxiety disorder so that’s four years now. It gets better then it gets worse. The constant up and down exhausts me so much. I have tried all types of treatments and I consider myself quite a worldly and wise person for my age. I have tried much self therapy and my own things to help with recovery but I have only gotten so far and fallen back in the hole that is my disorder. I have contemplated suicide numerous times but have never actually attempted it. I’m sick of it and I’m just tired so tired. […]
Consider the following, albeit imperfect, analogy.
The inventor of the automobile designed his creation to need both gasoline and oil. Remove one or the other and it will not function properly, if at all.
Then consider yourself a creation made by God, Who designed you as being both body and spirit. You feed yourself the best of foods (or medications) but you neglect feeding your spirit – you will be deficient in what it takes to make you *run* properly.
Trust me, friend. I scoffed for many years at God. Who needs it? I’m my own person, I am independent, I don’t need anyone or […]
I don’t want to kill myself yet; I just want to curl into a ball, and leave the world behind. Â I need more electroconvulsive therapy; Â thirty thousand more shocks won’t cure me I fear. Â I still owe six thousand dollars from the last round I received. Â The weight of the financial strain it placed upon me has so far lasted two years longer than fleating psychiatric relief it gave me. Â I don’t know what to do. Â The treatments worked when the medications didn’t, Â but I can’t afford the treatments. Â I don’t have very many options.
I decided that it’s no longer about living because I have to. I’m going to live because I need to. My mom is currently in intensive care I came home and found her blue from lack of oxygen. She can’t breathe on her own. My mom is everything to me. She came back when I was 12 and saved me and my brothers lifes. I won’t give up until I know she’s fine. I blame a lot of this on myself the lack of oxygen is from to many medications because she was in pain because she was stressed about me. My mom has a […]
I’m done… Just wished I had a gun right now, so I could kill myself. I hate my life. I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!!!
I’m NOT happy, I never was and I’ll never be. My parents don’t understand me, they only make me feel more worthless and lonely, like I’m a piece of trash, a mistake. Constantly have arguments with them because they don’t understand me. Therapy doesn’t work, medications doesn’t work. I’m just desperate… Don’t know what to do anymore. The only way out I see is killing myself, and actually it’s a pretty good option for me I guess. What’s life worth when […]
Today I was seconds away from ending my life. What changed my mind I still do not know.
After 10 years of SEVERE deppresion I am tired, I am tired of it all. I am exhausted.
I tried fighting back for year after year. Medications and therapy(many different therapists) for 10 years and I have not moved a single step forward. Not one step..
2 years ago I gave up. After 8 years of trying I was tired of fighting and in the end i realised I am never going to feel joy again. Â I gave up hope.
I have always had suicidal thoughts for as long as I […]
Over the course of my short 26 years of life, I have attempted suicide on no less than 8 occasions.
From the age of 11, I was bullied at school, tormented and tortured by grown men who’d wait for me after school and not to mention the troubles I was working through at home and struggling to admit the fact that I am gay, even to myself.
All of this plus a few other reasons landed me in therapy.
From the age of 11 onwards I saw one psychotherapist after another and I’ve been on so many medications that it’s hard to be certain of the exact number. […]
The drugs that I have been on for the past year are Effexor, Wellbutrin and Lamictal. The doctor told me they were antidepressants however I was always depressed. The only problem was that I never felt fully cured or happy. During the day or when I was around anyone I would always put on a happy face and joke with everyone so no one could see my pain, depression and loneliness. Everyone thought I was a happy-go-lucky guy. At times I almost convinced myself. What really made me realize that the Effexor and Wellbutrin were working to some extent was if I forgot to take […]
I don’t post so often. I know no one is interested in reading this shit but it feels okay writing.
I’m gonna overdose on new year I will probably not be dead but it’s okay for me when i’m poisoned so this shit body can suffer. It would be even more amazing if i would go into coma. Would love that.
Anyway that’s it. Love you all.
Completely lost my identity to bipolar three years ago when my family pushed me into hospitalization and disability. had a shitty psychiatrist who overmedicated me to the point of not being able to function. so medicated that I couldn’t hold a job, lost three in one year. My career is over, as one of the jobs was in my career field and I was fired. I’ve tried 17 different medications. now i tried ECT and it has obliterated my short term memory and ability to feel anything. I have no desire to do anything at all. My mind […]
Sometimes I wish I’d just die already. I wish that I’d drowned when I was 2, or hit my head on the concrete as an infant like I almost did, but the universe is dead set on watching me suffer. I’ve tried so many different things to try and make it all go away, I tried cutting, it didn’t help, I tried popping tylenol whenever I felt down, and it helped for a while, but it doesn’t anymore. I’ve tried just crying for a long time, it made me feel worse.
I’m only 13, and life has already ended for me. My past is full of the […]
If you want to manipulate your psychiatrist into giving you the medications you think are best, educate yourself with regard to mental illnesses and their medications. Always participate in your own healthcare with your doctor, if you can.
I sit here eating .. like a pig. Ive already eaten two burriotos, chow mein and now icecream.. and yet im still hungery. I’ve tried to puke up my food but i never have the balls. And i’ve tried to go with out eating but all it does when i finally eat is make me look like a bigger big then i already am. Im 14 and wieght 125pounds and i hate it. Everyone says its fine. That thats a normal weight.. but when u look at the other girls AT SCHOOl at their all 105 and TALLER then you .. you know your fat. […]
I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Â I have rarely thought this much. Â I’ve always been an intellectual, but now I am really looking at this from every angle. Â I do want you guys to know that I hope that you don’t give up if there is any inkling in you to want to live. Â I want you to fight for a better tomorrow, I really do. Â I want you to be well and happy and healthy. Â And I really believe you can get there. Â Most of your problems are situational or solved with medications and therapy. Â I really think there is a way out for […]
I am divorced. I am a mother of six. My fiance committed suicide in July. I have had numerous surgeries this year that have left me unable to work yet. I am in yet another one of my major depressive episodes that has exhausted me. I have tried having my medications readjusted and mixed around to no avail. I am just so sick of having to battle depression! I have been in an uphill battle with this terrible illness for over 25 years! I have had enough. I am tired. I cannot endure more of […]
My birthday is coming on the twelfth. I was thinking about offing myself than. I won’t go into my long sob story, but realistically at this point I’m just making everyone around me miserable and that just makes me feel even worse.
I’ve been in therapy for well over two years now and I have tried numerous medications (which they still want me to keep trying). I talk to people, I tell them what is on my mind and it just doesn’t make me feel better at all. And, but of course, suicide scares the shit out of them.
People don’t […]
Newer Posts