Hello everybody.  I am speechless (as you can see). I joined here because i am really weak at making decisions (like death or life, joy or sadness..). I mean i and my mind are living different lives. On one day i make about three- four mind changes. I just don’t  know which one I am right now. I am always copying someone. I mean i can be myself (sometimes) but  mostly i’m trying  to be someone different. i always  think too much. i was in mental hospital. i was in mental hospital for month, i wanted to stay there more. i don’t even know why […]
Tag:
mental
I tried killing myself on valentines day I took Zoloft (antidepressants) but I only felt like I was going to pass out and my dad found out a few days later when he saw there were no more pills left.He was mad at me and said that what I did was stupid and was kinda yelling at me and said if I went back to the (Lakeside) mental facility that he would just let me stay there.Yesterday I went to the store and got some sleeping pills.Everyone is acting like everything is all my fault like my dad is mad at me for wanting to […]
8th grade was when it all started. It started in the middle of that year. My dad & I were fighting. He told me that the reason he tried to kill himself was because of me. At that time I started to believe it was me cause of the way I treated him. His mental health issues at that time were up & down. In previous years he was overdosing with his prescription meds which led to him getting into a car accident with me & he also fell down the stairs. Some other things happened like he ran into a tree with […]
Every night I go to sleep hoping to not wake up in the morning. Suicidal thoughts cloud my head from the moment I wake up to the moment I go back to sleep. With perfect grades, my chances of securing decent employment are horrendous because my personality is incompatible with the corporate world. Now my grades are sinking because of the incessant mental pain. Chained to this accursed existence by mental slavery, I pray for an accident or terminal illness to kill me. It’s fruitless, of course, because a good god isn’t there. If god is evil, then I am doomed to suffer for all […]
I have been in a battle with myself for about 2 years. Ever since I was 9 my family has told me that I need to lose weight because im fat. Yeah a 9 year old should lose weight. I’m actually not fat at all but I’m still in a battle to lose weight. i strain myself to work out. I know what you’re thinking just find someone to talk to. Well guess what I don’t have anyone. My mom never listens to me when I try to talk to her about my day or something she completely tunes me out. She has some “mental […]
The thought of suicide has crossed my mind for years and have often thought how my families life would be affected by my own death? How would they cope, survive ? I know that life is a blink or heart beat away and we should not take life for granted however when your up against a brick wall why live!!! In the past month I have watched more gore movies , binged death, suicide , cemetery, coffins, life after death and so on. Yes I know I’m depressed and on medication but when you have 4 ways going at you at all angles from […]
Hello there. You may remember me as the fairly young boy planning to commit suicide as soon as I reach the weekend. That was exactly one week ago. You may remember that the only person in the outside worldthat know of my suicidal thoughts and cutting is also the sole person I love. This was my undoing. Two days before I would hang myself, she stepped in an contacted the school guidance counselor. Naturally, this is a rather large issue, and long story short, my father, a police officer, picked me up from school and was require to Baker Act me. I was taken to […]
I´m 16,diagnosed with major depression,been depressed and suicidal for over a year now,I recently got out of a mental hospital,I was put there for suicide risk,it was one hell for me,I hated every single second I spent there,I were there for a little over 3 months,every second of it I spent faking my smile and telling lies about my mood and suicide thoughts, just to get out of there,it was really hard for me,I never want to go there anymore. So now that i´m finally out of the mental hospital,I have to keep this fake smile on my face constantly and act like everything is […]
I really wish that I didn’t have mental health it trulry sucks! You don’t know how ur going to feel from one day to the next especially with bpd. Why can’t I just be free from all this pain.
its not about waiting for ðthe sorm to pass its about learning  tood dance in the rain 🙂
I have to wake up early in the morning to go see a pyschiatrist.
I’m really scared though.
I mean, what if he/she thinks I’m some crazy person? Or thinks I should be locked up in some mental hospital?
My anxiety is being a big bother at the moment, and I have no mecidine to control it at the moment.
Wish me luck for tomorrow .. er.. today I guess since it’s 12:00 a.m.
While swindling down a bottle of Americana Black Cherry Soda, I had an idea. my squadron’s chaplain. I knew I could talk to him about my depression. He’s such a kind guy, and he was always very understanding. I’m doing it this Tuesday, let’s pray i don’t get sent to a mental hospital. Â And if I do, I’ll see you all on her other side.
Ok so it has been really hard for me to admit this but I’m a bad person! I do not care about anyone or anything?! I’m always and only worried about me! Its like I know im this evil person but I don’t do anything! I fear everything! I fear driving and dying I fear people not liking me when why should they I’m a fuck up and it’s like I know im a fuck up but I don’t do anything , I’ve been on this site before and read others posts but im so concerned with myself that I can’t even care and isn’t […]
some say it’s all hard work.
I say “willingness to work hard is part of genes”
Human species are just some random combinations of chemicals. No one knows the parameters considered in that combination ( may be the time your parents did “it” or mental state of your parents while doing “it” or the food your mom eaten in her earlier days or the pollution rate in the country,  perhaps combination of infinite parameters)
I call that combination as luck.
The set of problems we have are not real, they all part of chemical reactions in brain
Ex:
if you throw an apple iphone it broke and it remain broken: that is […]
the past few days have just been the worst I am seriously in so much emotional and mental pain. I havent ever felt more empty or hopeless than I do now and sometimes I just wanna say fuck it and grab my fucken gun and just try to end it and hope that i’ll be lucky enough to die. I swear it feels like a shitload of misery and sadness and hopelessness just fell out of the sky and landed right on me. I feel so alone right now so empty i’m sitting here just bawling me eyes out and I can’t stop I just […]
Hi Guys,
It’s almost 10 here and I am exhausted… Needless to say I do enjoy writing, just not when I am extremely tired. So if this is short I do apologize for that.
Now how are you? (Don’t forget to comment! I do read them… Sometimes I forget to reply… Sorry, but I do read them!)
How am I? Physically: Sore, Tired, Exhausted Mentally: Broken
My physical state… Well I went skiing tonight (for ski club) fell down and my ski tip jabbed into my inner thigh soo that’s bruised. I had a few panic attacks and two breakdowns where I couldn’t take […]
Ever been woken at 3 am? Remember being sooo tired that you can hardly move?
Now imagine you’re cold but too tired to get up to get an extra blanket.
Or maybe you have to go to the bathroom but you’re too tired.
Have you ever fallen asleep in an uncomfortable spot, e.g., your car, the living room floor, etc. but you’re too tired to get up?
That’s how I feel when I’m at my lowest point of depression & when I have my strongest desire to leave.
I may want to “get up” but I cannot. I’m just “too tired”. The thought of getting showered, […]
what is the problem with leaving me be why is it i have to stay downstairs in a room with an adult why is it that school is my hell hold but when im home thats my mental hospital, why cant i just be alone in my room sliting my wrists why cant i just be who i am and not be changed by the people who dont even give two fucks about me they are just scared of me incase im mental and insane because they dont understand this pain but they just have to change me and have to think about how safer […]
Hi Guys,
It’s day 19… Woo… Ummm sooo… Guess I’m continuing these things?
My day… I had a few panic attacks… Well to be exact two… *sigh* Maybe they’ll get better… Umm… So yeah….
How am I? Physically: Terrible absolutely terrible Mentally: Awful
My physical state… *sigh* I’m sickish… I have a headache, my nose hurts, I may or may not have a fever and I’m really stressed out… So I’m not doing so well in my physical state all I want to do is curl up and cuddle with someone, but alas no one is here to cuddle with […]
Hi Guys,
I guess my life is getting too boring to keep writing these things… So sorry… I might not continue this… I don’t know… So… Might not continue with this… Sorry.
Normal day routine.. Get up and stuff. Except one of my friends and I got into this little mini fight about my weight and I just don’t know. I mean I just don’t know guys… I just… I’ve never liked how I looked. I never loved what my body shape was. And now I’m expected to suddenly love it? And I just don’t know guys…
And ugh. One of my friends just keep threatening me […]
I dont know how many of you feel misunderstood by sheeple and what I like to call educated fools. My life has been filled with sexual abuse at a young age. Being brought into the world by an unstable 14 year old mother who really has horrible choice in men. Family that’s in denial of their sick and twisted faults and continue to pass on the demons from generation to generation instead of cutting the head off the snake. Mental illness and being able to read people for who they really are but still give them the benefit of the doubt because of […]