Tag:

mental

Things I’d like to say

by thegirlwiththecinderblockgarden 7/26/2015

written by thegirlwiththecinderblockgarden

But I simply don’t have the guts to say it to your faces.

To my best friend,
I had a crush on you for the past three years, and never told you, mainly because I thought it would ruin our friendship. Although you didn’t know it, you made things quite difficult for me over those three years, because I felt like I was wrong for liking you. But I’m over it now, and I’m a lot happier for it. But you also make me feel like shit about myself, with your ‘oh look, I ran really far today!’ and your ‘look at me, I can eat […]

7/26/2015 4 comments

Yes, I know I’m going to die alone

by majesticwalrus 7/23/2015

written by majesticwalrus

I’m okay with that. If I can make peace with that, why the hell can’t any of my family members stop bugging me about being single? I know I haven’t dated anyone since 2012, but judging how things went then, being alone isn’t so bad. It’s not that I haven’t gotten over the last girl I dated, I just don’t feel the need to have all of the drama I had last time. I’m going to die in a month, so why the fuck does it matter?

The only reason I’m ranting about this is that I am currently visiting some family and my dad couldn’t […]

7/23/2015 22 comments

It makes no difference….

by Mark_1981 7/22/2015

written by Mark_1981

It is tough for me to explain and on the added front, it is tough for other people to understand as well. In the end, I am another person who wants to die but at the same time hangs on.

I definitely did not grow up “usual”. I grew up best described as isolated on a farm. I am the youngest. I have two older siblings, a sister (5 years older) and a brother (7 years older). We attended church and I attended Sunday school which was the sole social interaction that I had for my first 5 or so years of life. It was extremely […]

7/22/2015 3 comments

2 years

by nomorepain461 7/22/2015

written by nomorepain461

so i am thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend of 10 years to focus on finding a good job with my education. She is all i had. trust me i wont find someone else to love me. just trust me (just trust me). I am focused on finding a good job soon, or im ending my life. Its that simple. if i find a job, i will contact her. she is not focused on a job, and it is hurting me to stay with her right now. im totally alone. i want to live, so im giving myself 2 years to find a good […]

7/22/2015 1 comment

Real sadness

by alina_01 7/20/2015

written by alina_01

is being alive but wishing to die. To be in so much mental and emotional pain that life loses meaning. It’s sad to constantly expect the worst from people and feeling guilty when you’re wrong and realize that people can surprise you. We live in our own hells that we’ve created for ourselves so lost in our own pain that we can’t focus long enough to figure a way out. I am free of many pains that I thought I would never stop feeling. I care for myself in ways I couldn’t even dream of, this time I’m not just saying it. I have sadness […]

7/20/2015 2 comments

One last thing to do

by disgusting 7/16/2015

written by disgusting

No matter how soon or how much more of this year I’ll see, I really want to do one more thing. I’ll have to buy another cheap tattoo kit like the one I had before and take the risk of attempting it with the hand I don’t normally write with. But I want “I’m not human” written on my arm. I at least want it known when I die what my main problem was and that sums it up. I took a chance earlier and put my soul crushing experience on a very public forum just to vent it out that yes I am hurt, […]

7/16/2015 1 comment

Voices

by schizophrenia 222 7/16/2015

written by schizophrenia 222

I would trade no ones shoes to swap suicidal scenarios. I can imagine they are all just as bad as each other. Mental pain, physical pain, no matter what it is. Torment and pain beyond what most of us are capable of handling. How did i get to this place and scenario. Anyone ever youtubed what its like being a schizophrenic.. Its fun for the first ten seconds or when youre on a high then its depressing, scary, obtrusive, crazy and intruding.

Im schizophrenic almost every second of the day and meds do jack shit unless you want to be zombified do you.. No.

Ive heard shit […]

7/16/2015 2 comments

The palm of my hand

by flyingnorth 7/14/2015

written by flyingnorth

Some people turn to physical self harm. Mostly this works for them. Mostly it works for me. I mean, it used to.

I’ve gotten better at this self torture thing. I don’t even need the physical aspect of it anymore. I don’t have to hide palpable injuries now.

Instead I have my mind. I can bring my mistakes and pains up to the surface faster than a blink of my eye. I know it all better than I know the palm of my hand.

Because really, I don’t even know the palm of my hand anymore.

7/14/2015 0 comment

House

by hopeisafourletterword 7/11/2015

written by hopeisafourletterword

To kill time I binge-watched all 8 seasons of House on netflix. That show basically looks life, death, pain, sickness, grief, mental illness, addiction, lost love, anything else you can think of straight in the face and just puts it out there and really makes you think about how you would deal with that kind of stuff. Wilson was my absolute favorite. His and House’s friendship is the kind that’s excruciatingly hard to find and towards the end of the series House pretty much implied that he is nothing without Wilson. In one of the last episodes he goes on this epic tirade where he […]

7/11/2015 1 comment

The Race Between Suicide and A Cure

by PenroseKate 7/7/2015

written by PenroseKate

I’ve been suffering for a long time now. I spend 80% of the time I’m not at work locked away wishing the days would end and that I would never wake up.
I have a good life. Better than most probably. If I was to write a list of pros and cons the pros column would be at least five times longer.
BUT. It doesn’t seem to matter. Every stress and every pressure I feel so extremely. I struggle to shower and get out of bed of my days off, spending at least two days a week in my room. I cry when a stranger […]

7/7/2015 0 comment

poetry saves

by death bunny 7/3/2015

written by death bunny

as the days go by i feel smaller and smaller and suicide seems more appealing. every day i feel like dying and every night i die, in a way. the only thing that keeps me hanging is my poetry. nothing else. not my girlfriend, not my soon-to-be-born baby boy, nor my friends and family. i feel like i got nowhere to go, i’m trapped inside this hellish reality and i don’t have the mental strength to break through it. i would’ve probably kill myself if my poetry was already published, but it’s not. hence i won’t kill myself. not until my words will light the […]

7/3/2015 5 comments

They Told Me I Have Major Depression

by Lovebug4142 6/25/2015

written by Lovebug4142

Yesterday I went to go talk to a Adult Nurse Practitioner at the mental health clinic I go to, and she asked me all the same questions as the Counselor and the guy who gave me the mental evaluation did. After talking to her for 2 hours. She told me that I had Major Depression and an Anxiety Disorder. She told me the reason I can’t sleep, and do drugs, and cut myself, all stems from the depression. She told me that she wanted me to continue to go to group, talk to the Psychologist they have there, and she wants to give me medication to […]

6/25/2015 3 comments

Cutting

by Mundane 6/22/2015

written by Mundane

“Why do you cut?”

Because I can’t take the pain inside me. Physical torment is better than emotional suffering or mental burdens.

“Why do you cut?”
Because I can focus on something other than my broken spirit.

“Why do you cut?”
Because when I see myself bleed, and feel the warm blood, I know that the cold I feel is not real.

“Why do you cut?”
Because it hurts so much but I don’t want to hurt them back.

“Why do you cut?”
Because it makes me feel better.

Why do I cut, you ask.
Because this is the only way to continue this farce of living.

6/22/2015 1 comment

Make a Wish!!

by RealTalk30 6/13/2015

written by RealTalk30

Let’s say you’ve just been diagnosed with a terminal illness and the doctors all agree you will be dead in less than a week. You only have 4 and a half days of physical and mental abilities before your brain is gone, you can’t walk or speak and two days after that you will be dead.
The Make a Wish foundation has caught wind of your story and they want to give you one last wish. You only have 4 and a half days to live it up. You must make every second count..

What do you wish for?

6/13/2015 10 comments

I know

by secretz180 6/6/2015

written by secretz180

I’m such a sad girl that no one knows how I feel. Every single day I cry in my room wanting to end it all but to afraid. I’ve lost a lot of my best friends from this mental illness. Whenever I go somewhere I have sooo much anxiety it’s unbearable. All the medication I take and nothing works. I will never be fixed. I’m the only person in my family that’s broken. I’m just a waste of time and space. I’m socially awkward no matter where I am. I can’t tell anyone how I feel because they will think I’m doing for attention. Or […]

6/6/2015 2 comments

against her

by silvermoon 6/4/2015

written by silvermoon

As soon as I leave my place the world is against me. I can’t take it anymore. Stigma of mental illness and suffering. I am still six years old and highly sensitive. I long for a family and someone to care, who is there anymore. What is the best way to go home, I ask myself.

I’ve got to find a way to be ok, and I cannot.

6/4/2015 0 comment

What is getting help like?

by NWren 6/3/2015

written by NWren

I posted my story here yesterday. Someone asked me if I had ever gotten help from a mental health professional.

I have not. Honestly I’m scared. Not only of what everyone in my life will say, but about the process itself. I do not want to just be pumped full of anti-depressants and spend an hour each week talking about what makes me sad. I am also terrified of being admitted to a mental ward.

Is there anyone on here who has been to therapy/gotten mental help and would be willing to share what it’s like?

6/3/2015 2 comments

I Want to Die But Haven’t

by jvs 6/2/2015

written by jvs

I lost everything that gave me connection, meaning, comfort and joy. That all happened in a short time frame a year and a half ago. One rug after another after another after another was pulled out from under my feet. There were so many bad turns and they were so astonishing, I can’t count them all. Life is gray. I haven’t had a second of joy for almost two years. People say, Wait it out, who knows what tomorrow will bring? I’m not getting better; it has been a nose dive for all that time. I got into therapy, and it took over a year […]

6/2/2015 2 comments

don’t know what to do anymore

by MrNeedHelp 6/1/2015

written by MrNeedHelp

Hello everyone. I have been depressed for some time now. I’ve been to the hospital for it and stayed for about a week. I am married and my wife knows of my depression. while in the hospital they said that I have a general mood disorder and bi polar tendencies. With the mood disorder my mood can change in an instant. It can be triggered just by someone getting snippy with me or giving me attitude and I can help it.

The marriage overall has been good. But as of late there is a lot of stress and both of us are depressed. About a week […]

6/1/2015 5 comments

Hello depression we meet again

by lost_hopeless27 6/1/2015

written by lost_hopeless27

No matter how I try to ignore this feeling it keeps coming back…it feels like its a part of myself and it’s wrong for me not to feel the pain or trying to distract myself from the monster inside me…3 days ago I threw away all my razor blades thinking that if I don’t cling to the thing that makes me feel that way it will slowly fade away…I was never so wrong in my life….for 3 days I thought I was invincible then boom!! My ex whom I still love so much found someone else…she has been ignoring me for weeks..at first I thought […]

6/1/2015 1 comment

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