plain and simple. I’ve gone through the motions, made people think I’m a positive and happy person, but the overwhelming, undeniable truth is that I’m miserable. I welcome death 95% of the time, wishing it would find me, as I don’t want my children and family dealing with a suicide. I live near a mesa, it’s beautiful, has large cliffs ….what if I could make it look like an accident? Oops, I slipped and plummeted to my death. What a shame. I’ve fantasized about this scenario almost everyday for a year….but every time I make it up to the top my endorphins are pumping from […]
Tag:
Misery
Say a person is destined to suffer for the rest of their life, what are they supposed to do, learn to accept it, and live the remainder of their life in pain and anguish, misery and despair?
I used to think positively.. I used to believe that everything I could see beyond all the bull the world has put in front of me, of us, was beautiful. I used to admire what beauty the world offered us beyond the structure of tall buildings and society itself, beyond the pure ignorance of these fellow people who believe their opinions should rise above those of anyone else.. I’m simply disgusted. Disgusted that I’ve been alive for the years that I have and still feel like I’ve nothing to show for it. Disgusted that I somehow believed that after all I’ve given with nothing to […]
I have been severely beaten and tortured, by cops, by deputies, by inmates, by psychOtechs, by inpatients, and by myself. Many profound cells and hallways of anguished misery, and some horrible experiences with four-point restraints and injections.
I spend the first half of my life suffering multiple tragedy multiple trauma, then I spend the remainder of my life living in anguish and misery as I heal from the trauma and then end dead before I can ever live a healed life, what’s the f*cking point>?
I think it is, the end. There’s been no reprieve for me from this misery of a depression.
i reached out the other day and told my social worker everything I’d done in the last weeks in an attempt to get some understanding. I told her I tried to jump off the motorway bridge but didn’t think it was high enough to kill me plus what also stopped me was I don’t want to cause an accident for someone else. With this in mind I said my only option to kill myself  was to do it in the car the good ole fashioned way with a […]
i dont know how to say goodybye. i dont know how to leave this cruel world. i drown in misery everyday of my life. maybe its laziness. i dont know what is wrong with me. i cannot get up in the mornings to attend school. im failing all my classes because i miss soo much. my ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend and it kills me everyday to see them. my mom has been gone for about three years out who knows where with another man. i feel so empty and im not happy. i dont remember what it feels like to even be happy. […]
I really love you all. I don’t know any of you but just because that we all here got about the same thoughts makes me love every single person here even more.
I’ve lost hope in god but i really wish that there is a heaven. Were everyone can be happy without any misery.
But sadly, there is no belief without a hell, punishment or fear. I want a belief that’s only based of love.
Depression is a sickness. Many people don’t even realize or agree but please the first step is professional help. I really wish i could help every single person here but sadly, i can’t even help myself.
Big love for you all there.
As the title states, this is my first post. I don’t even know what  to say except that life feels meaningless.
If I wasn’t such a chicken shit I’d probably have offed myself back in college, but I’ve always been too scared to do it.
My depression started like a spiderweb crack– at first, it was isolated, but now it has spread and I feel like I bring misery to everyone who loves me. I lose everyone who gets close to me because they meet me and I seem so great and bubbly and fun to be with, and then they slowly have to watch me sink […]
Hello there. This is my first time on this site so let me just give you some background info about me. I’m 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. When i was in Kindergarten through 5th grade i was bullied harshly. I was bullied for the way i smelled. A guy, Alec, and his friends would make fun of me EVERY SINGLE DAY. They made my life a living hell. They were also on my bus. I remember one incident where i was sitting on the bus and Alec took out his phone and took a video of me sitting there and he […]
I want to die.
It has taken me a long time to come to that conclusion.
Why do I want to die? In a nutshell: because I’m in intense emotional and mental pain.
The longer version?……… Life is too much of a struggle. Most things I go after results in total failure and misery. I find it very difficult to relate to people on a deeper emotional level. Conversing with people is an enormous challenge. I wish I didn’t stutter.
It tortures me that I can’t even say my name without stuttering. The look I receive from people when I stutter is extremely painful, so I mostly choose not […]
Zoloft a drug prescribed in so many western societies to deal with a range of health issues particularly depression and anxiety. Zoloft for me is not what I expected. I thought I’d feel happier, I do in a way but I don’t feel any less sad or miserable. I know I should kill myself but I can’t Zoloft has taken that from me. So now I’m stuck in a mood where nothing truly matters, I should give up. So tired…..
It was a normal saturday. And a lonely one at that. It was late at night, music playing and I was drowning in tears. I lay staring up at the ceiling with thoughts circling round in my head on repeat like a broken record…’Nobody will miss if I die’ ‘I’m worthless’ ‘I’ve got nothing to live for’.
Those words followed me everywhere, and my mind was consumed with the hopelessness of ending my life, and that night, that was the decision i’d made.
To end my life.
To put an end to the misery.
I went into the bathroom and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills i’d been eyeing […]
Ever lived my life or spent on minute in my shoes? No! Well then please, tell me why you judge me like you do. Life is a dream upon which death awakens us… Not all dreams are good… not all dreams are bad… Do you want to wait for one’s death to understand or to care?
Each day everyone of us face many obstacles at almost every walk of life. Sometimes it’s hard to explain. We go through stress, anger, hurt and pain. There’s moments of sadness, frustration, and even depression. Sometimes we feel incredibly insane. Then there’s moments when some of us feel like giving […]
The caving sinking feeling,is back. its back and i cant handle it anymore. they were supposed to get better. they were supposed to be looking up…but im falling back down again, back into the darkness, back into the misery that never ends. And now its back…its like a relapse….and i know this time theres no coming out. i know this time its it. i know this time i wont fail.
Hi,
let me get straight to the point im a normal boy who is determined to have something that satisfy me. I was sponsored in a university i left my country 3wks ago and i arrived in a different world so when i got in i had one thing in my mind (i am number one). Then those goofs said that i should take theology i protested by saying i am not interested with islamic theology. I called my parents they were dissapointed but they said (study my son i know u can do this) i accepted it and another shocking news is that i […]
Life what the f*ck is it about cause I truly don’t know anymore. I mean nothing makes sense anymore. People tell you bad situations don’t last long but I would like to challenge that theory. Happiness doesn’t last long so if you ever achieve it cherish it because it’s temporary. However, misery can last a life time. I’m living proof of that I know I’m only 19 but I’ve been miserable for the majority of my life. And right now I’m just exhausted. My life has no meaning to me anymore. I have to be the loneliest teenager in the world. You know people think […]
Well, first, sorry for my bad english…
My life is horrible. I never had nothing… I always be different; In the worst way. When i was a kid, my sister and my cousin excluded me. My parents always fighting and my father never really like us. He just wanna get out, and one day, he goes. But unfortunately, leave took a long time. All starts bad…
I think that one day, i´ll be happy and that all was just a bad time. But not. Grown up that way destroyed me. I think that i am one of that people who born to never be loved for nobody. I […]
I was doing ok for a while….busy, had an relatively active social life, pursuing my dream (acting)….but now, seems as though things have come full stop. I hate it!!! Starting to think those dark thoughts again….starting to wonder if it’s really worth it. Hate my job!!! Hate my life!!! Hate being alone. Sure, I have my family (minus my Dad who passed away in Feb), but I really don’t want to burden them. This is my ordeal. I think I need to keep busy, it’s only when I’m busy that I don’t have a chance to think. Sitting and thinking is death. Thinking about my […]
People have called me selfish for feeling suicidal but really I am far from it. I have just thought about it and when I die I would like my donate my body to help other people who need the help. I have done pretty pathetic things in my time in order to lets say “make up” for things I fail at in life. I sleep with a dumbell or my little dog in order to make up for that loneliness I feel in my heart. My dog though is one of the things that keeps me alive. To see her little tail wagging when she […]