I’m alone…The people I care about couldn’t care less about me. I finally found someone, and I truly, honestly loved her. I would do anything for her. And today she left me…I was 2 months clean, but that changed today. I took my razor and cut myself 6 times. I don’t want to live without her. I just want someone who cares. My mom is letting the ex boyfriend who beat her back into the house, my “friends” Â pretty much don’t care about me. I’m alone. My dad decided that across the state is where he wanted to be, instead of closer to me so […]
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Mom
I wanna know what I did so horrible to get such a harf life like this I’m only 17 yrs old I lost my brother & dad to suicide I’m homeless my mom couldn’t care any less about me. It seems like all everyone ever wants to do is hurt & break me down What have I done to get such a hard life? Im terrified or death but it seems like its the only way out of this piece of shit life I have? What is the real meaning of all that I’m being put through cause it isnt to make me stronger. I […]
i just got into, once again, another shouting match with my parents.
my mother decided to ***** about how i’m always the needy one, and how i make her life so difficult.
funny.
they don’t realize how much i do to make their lives easy.
i go to school everyday, get extremely high grades without complaining. I dont waste their time telling them my problems. i dont tell them how i cut and starve and try to kill myself, or try to waste their money on inpatient or therapy. i dont bother them with the fact that all my friends left me, because they’d rather believe the BS my […]
I am on seaside with my family.Only my mom saw my cuts on legs and arms but she didnt tell father,i told her not to.Because i promised her that i stopped self harm.And i did stop but the will is still here.I ignore it.I have bf ,and fisrt time in life i think love does exist.I love him,he loves me,our love is strong,he keeps me alive,he is giving me reason to live .He kisses scars on my skin,he try really hard to help me.
But today i snapped.I just broke.I run to the sea ,jump in in,and tried to drown myself .Nobody was watching,i could do […]
This is my story, I would kindly like to ask you to not put rude comments. When I was a child I was mostly forgotten about. My sister had all the attention. My parents were both alcoholics, that forced my sister and I to be our own parents. I was probably about 1-3 I couldn’t take care of myself so my sister had to. My mom was a horrible drinker. She decided to pick us up from school one day drunk. As we drove back home my sister, she looked at me. Her face full of fear and turned around that’s when we heard the […]
I want to die, i hate my life my family is terrible my brother is crazy ,a thief and a horrible person, his purpose in life is to annoy people, and my sister makes me feel bad about everything you come home happy she opens her mouth you want to kill yourself, school is awful, the only reason i am going is because my parents abuse me and i can’t say no to them also my father won’t give me a dime so i have to go to sell people answers to tests, homework and exams so i can get enough change to combine into […]
ive gotten fat… im getting better at putting on a smile. ive been dressing nicer and more preppy. ive been laughing more. ive been crying less. ive been arguing more. ive been thinking ab0ut him more. ive been treated worse. ive been told everything will be ok but ive been told that before. ive been keeping everything inside like i used to. im reverting back to the old me. perfect pretty girl. loud and outgoing sarcastic with everything put together. hah what a fucking joke. but i am so good at keeping everything in. ive only been cutting on my wrists so i can hide […]
I am lost in my false reality. Ever sense the love of my life left me I don’t know what to do with myself. He told me he needed time to get his life together and I said I would wait. But the longer I wait the harder it gets. I didn’t want people to know how hurt I was so I tell them we are engaged and will elope next year. If they ask where he is i say away on business. I thought letting myself live in this dream would make me feel better but it just makes me more depressed. I don’t […]
I’m not sure how to say this, I’ve never posted on something like this before. But I quit.
I’m turning 18 in almost 2 weeks, but I don’t think I’ll last that long. I’m depressed, I have been for a while, but instead of accepting that and finding a way to cope with it, my dad is ignoring it. I really noticed it after my mom passed away a year and a half ago. Granted, it’s normal to be sadder than usual during that time, I realize this. To try and cheer up, I tried looking back at the time before we learned she had cancer, […]
Where do I begin………..
Well my mom gave birth to me when she was about 18 or 19. From what she tells me my real dad is a low life dick(excuse my language). Anyways I resently got in contact with him. Things where going great in my life. I had straight A’s, I was very popular, very pretty, guys would fight over me,…….until my 8th grade year. The 1st day back to school was OK, after that everything turned to shit. I started to realize who my true friends were, and that school was the most important thing in my life. In the middle of the […]
So last Thursday I had cut myself again and I just couldn’t stop myself. My mother is more than even disappointed in me because of my grades and all I’ve really wanted to do is make her proud. I don’t really know how to feel anymore. I get more and more sad and upset with myself each growing day. I also started writing poetry and it helps me share my feelings at least a little bit. Sometimes I honestly want my mom to see my scars so she sees just how much pain I’m in. I just want to be able to live my life […]
Dear Jackie,
You know I love you. I love you with all my heart. I’m so proud of you, and congratulations on having your baby last night. She is beautiful. I remember the fights we used to have, and coming home being scared out of my mind by you. I remember the countless times that you were thrown out of the house. Thank you for being my role model. Thank you for watching all of those gory, bloody, violent, rated R movies with my when I was six. Thank you for letting your friend come into my room to molest me wen I was little. I […]
IÂ have never known innocence.
It has been pain and loss and death
since before I could store a memory.
And now I am asked to be normal.
I am asked to pretend
that my childhood
was warm and innocent.
Innocence was ripped away
at the age of six,
surrounded by hands
and pleas and tears
and blood to be kept secret.
But begging never gets you anywhere.
Innocence was ripped away
as I laid next to my best friend
at the age of 13
whose heart had stopped beating,
while mine took
just a bit too long
to cease.
Innocence was ripped away
with the last words she heard from me,
“I forgive you, mom.”
I was 14.
Innocence has been ripped away from me
every time I walk that […]
I didn’t tell anyone that I was depressed. I didn’t know how. If you were a parent and your twelve year old daughter said she was depressed would you believe her? I wouldn’t, especially since I usually come across as the happiest of the children. When I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom, my timing couldn’t have been worse. It was the night before mothers day, and I let out all I had hidden. I opened up, I cried and confessed. I told her everything, right down to wishing the house would burn down with me along with it. I was so […]
I’m 14 . In 2009 , in 5th grade my Dad passed away. At the time he passed I was being bullied in school. Everyday was a living hell. I didn’t fear the people there, but I was just afraid of what new they had to say about me . When i came home and my mom told me my Dad died it was devastating, i thought of suicide and tried. No one new. I know that one thing that killed me inside was that no one was there for me when my dad passed , no one was there when i was being bullied […]
http://youtu.be/r7PndvLncZE
You know, until my mom committed suicide in ’81.
Hi I’m a 13 y/o girl from Sweden that at the moment feel like shit.. My whole life has been hard and so on but now I just want to die. My brother is the main problem, he hits me sometimes but not hard or anything, it the words he says. My whole life he’s been there to tell me that i will fail, I’m nothing, useless. Now those words are the truth in my eyes. He scares the living hell out of me, when he gets mad (and that is pretty much every day) I usually run to the bathroom. Then I will sit […]
“I don’t understand.†said my mom. “Don’t understand what?†i ask. but she brushed me off, she ignored me..it was as if she couldn’t even hear me. “I don’t quite understand why she did it either, but, I am very sorry for your loss Ma’am.†Said a woman in a nurses uniform. Who were they talking about? What loss…? “Sweetie†says my mom to my Step-Dad, “I-I have to go, I can’t look at her like this.†she says with an on-slaught of tears streaming down. Who? “Seriously guys, what happened? Who died?!†I say panicked. Why weren’t they answering me? Why weren’t they looking […]
I made an earlier post. You can click it here: http://suicideproject.org/2013/06/200363/
In there, it sounded like everything was great in my life and in my past. I think I should shed some light on that. Everything started when I was five years old.
My grandmother was a terrible woman and I was her latest punching bag. She had done this to my father and was now doing it to me. She would hit me, humiliate me, insult me, and other things as well.
I remember her always calling me trailer trash, no matter what I did or wore. Sometimes, I wasn’t allowed to finish a whole […]
I was ready to die today. I’ve been afraid of dying by stabbing myself or my organs, due to having severe abodyemigphobia. But my house is fairly tall, I could jump, I could at least break something if I didn’t die. I’ve been wanting to commit suicide for a while now, I’m a worthless human being, who would care? I’ve even posted death threats and not one person cared. So I was slowly opening my window, thinking that I was finally going to be free, that this was the right thing to do. But I heard my mom come in, and remembered how disappointed my […]