i don’t think i need to worry about being lonely or about not being cared for. anyways what’s the big deal….everybody has their own things to worry about, why would they think of you or how to help you… if you need help, help yourself … hey i am not saying this to anybody else, i am saying it to myself… i have decided not to kill my self … i can’t do it coz that would give my mom a lot of problems to handle… and she doesn’t deserve it… not after single handedly taking care of me and my sister after my dad […]
Tag:
Mom
since i can remember i have never been happy. i have amazing parents. my father is a state bridge inspector and my mother is a high school history teacher. my dad is older, from an older time and can be a real hardass sometimes, i know he always means well. my mom on the other hand is my hero, the best person i have ever known hands down. i couldnt count the number of people i have met through out the years that have told me, most of the time random people, that have told me that my mom has changed their lives. i have […]
Starting to care less about what p eople think of me. I don’t know what to write my thoughts are so jumbled I want to write though. I need to get my thoughts out. so basically I am wasting my life I am too Pathetic to push myself, I have no current interest in looking for a new job, there’s no way I’m going to be able to go back to school in the fall, I don’t like the idea of being the oldest one there, I really dont. So I’m not gonna do it . I really don’t give a shit about not graduating, […]
Same old boring bad background like everyone else:
-My sister died when I was younger, and I still feel like it was my fault that she died.
-My parents split
-Living in poverty since then
– Haven’t lived in the same house for over a year in like 6 years, Â eviction has met us more than once
-Don’t have anyone to trust
This year was the first time I really started to think about suicide seriously.  I was talking to the school psychologist about it and all she did was question me, “Do you have a plan?”, “What steps would you take?”.  Then she made me call a hotline and I for […]
My home situation have been very tough. As little girl I had every lie through at home. My mom has/had a relationship with an other man. My dad does everything at home cooking, laundry, bringing me and my 2 brothers to bed and school etc. My mom never does that and never gives us love. And my dad doesn’t too, he just does the standard stuff. She denies that she has a relationship with the other man. They are just friends she says. I just saw the man a couple months ago for the first time (never want to again). But people have seen them […]
Hi, my name is Josh and im currently a Senior in highschool. I have a problem…trouble making friends. Its hard to explain but im a very very friendly, loving, happy, and a peaceful guy. Thats just how I am…unfortunately deep inside I am a very sad, depressed and lonely person. I like to question things, even myself and i think this is what is leading to my downfall….when i was young i had only 2 friends…i could only be with one at a time and if it was all 3 of us i would get very jealous and depressed, remind you…i was VERY young when […]
I have been on medication (viibryd) for 6 weeks. doc says it will help. He also gave me clonopin for anxiety at work. I am 42 divorced, no kids, just a great dog who was thrown from a car window and i rescued him. I will not committ suicide and leave my dog. no one would care if i die, i come from a “traditional italian family” your not supposed to have depression, you are supposed to “snap out of it and smile” well i cant. and lord knows i’ve tried and tried and tried. I feel now that since i’ve been with this job […]
So I’ve been on this circle where I am ok for like 3 weeks. You know still sad but not crying as much and then like a wave it hits me. Then I have this entire day were everything will send me over the edge and the first night is the worse. I cry uncontrollably and have panic attacks, I feel like I might die right then and there. Nothing helps, I have no one to talk to about this. My mom thinks I’m fine so I play the part. I had a breakdown 2 days ago so I’m back on the road towards […]
My Names Jade And This is My Story ……..Well , it all started when I was in 1st grade……yeah , early right? I was being bullied everyday , not like calling me names when they walk by , 12 boys everyday at recess , pushed me on the ground and kicked me and hit me and threw things at me ……i tried telling teachers , and they thought I was faking , my own cousin tried stopping it ….she would grab a teacher , and they didn’t care either , I brought my mom and my mom even saw the boys kick me and beat […]
Hey. I’m 14, a freshman, and a survivor. I wanna share my story.
November 28, 2012. This is the day I swallowed 29 Prozac. This is the day I felt so alone, like always, but like I didn’t even deserve to breathe. I felt like I didn’t deserve anything. I was nothing. Worthless. A nobody. I’d lost everything. My mom. My bestfriend. My sanity. And someone took my innocence.
Two days earlier Nov. 26, 2012 I went to hangout with my bestfriend. He was 17. Yes I’m a girl. Yes he’s a boy. Yes we were bestfriends. We’d been that way for a long […]
YAY!! Again I was fooled by the empty promise which is…. actually scrap that, I won’t be dramatic about this, I will be plain and simple. And tell things just the way they happened. Just after that vicous attack on my mom, FINALLY! SAFETY! I thought, we were moving into the our new house on friday, without dad! WOOO! well that was until the other family started to get involved, moms parents didn’t give to hoots about what the hell she did, never did never will, UNTIL! she says shes moving to get SAFETY! SAFETY are you following? Then and only then do they decide […]
yeah, so this is the first time im posting something on this site, 3 weeks ago, my friend Steve suicided in the cafeteria, everyone saw it, blood on the wall behind him, gun on the ground, I stayed in the cafeteria for 3 hours, then a teacher told me to go and relax. Im moving in 3 days, my parents are not together anymore, it feels really bad, plus my dad told me it was my fault, and my mom told me I was ”retarded”.. She told this to me because when I told her that I need help, the first thing she told to […]
When I was born my mother abandoned my father & I. She put me up for adoption because she claimed that she cheated on my father & that I wasn’t his. So she gave me to this family & my dad got blood tests & proved that I was his & he took me back. So 5 years later my mother came back into my life & all I said was “You won’t play with me, you’re just like all of daddies other girlfriends” & she walked out of course I was too young to realize it but I still carry guilt over my shoulders […]
I used to be the most popular (I hate that word) girl in my school. & in the whole district. For all good reasons though. Like I am a fun person to be around & I’m just a good person. I have two groups of friends.. Well I had two groups of friends. The one group is all bitches & their cheerleaders & the other one is all basketball players.. Even tho I don’t play I still fit in. But in the cheerleader group I was friends with the one girl who was really annoying & one time we went to camp together & we […]
so i took them, the pills. I just hope this time it works, this time nothing goes wrong. ive had too much. im not strong, im drained of the energy to deal with everything. i hope everyone’s life goes well. i dont want help anymore, i just want it to end. noone can know, it wont make anyone feel better. not many cared for me, but whoever did i hope everything gets better for them, hope they find someone to replace me soon. i pray my mom will be fine, and my little brother too, he kept me alive. i hope my dad will be […]
I keep forgetting about this site
So I’ve actually gotten better. I never thought I would but looks like I did.
I fucked up last night though. I was a mess. It sounds really stupid, but I think the one of the reasons I hadn’t cut for two weeks was because of my bracelets. My bracelets are hard to get off, and I didn’t want to take them off. I was being extremely self destructive, and I can feel that while typing this. My pinkie finger is fucking up bad, mainly because I pretty well crushed it. My arm is burned, because I decided to drip hot […]
i can’t even begin to recount the times i’ve tried to kill myself – i started in 2nd grade – i’ve been married nearly 20 years – 4 children –
i’ve been hospitalized twice – once as an adult 2 years a go
i’m not diagnosed as personality disorder – but as i’ve read about it – i’m pretty sure i am – but this total break didn’t come until a family member did the most treacherous betrayal deed that could be done –
i never grieved the horrid act against me – but my child –
that was 6 years a go – and for me – it […]
I have bi polar depsession. I was diagnosed when I was 12, (even though they aren’t supposed to diagnose that young) Right after my mom died. I battled with that for years alone. Up until I was 15, when a wondrous new disorder came along, anorexia. Now, I’m 18 years old. When I Was 16 I met a boy and fell in love and gave him everything. He helped me start eating again, Which we thought was good. Until I lost my virginity to him and got pregnant because I was now able to have children again. So now, I have a one year old […]
~Broken~
When will you learn?
That I am not always going to be there
For you to vent you’re anger on,
That I am not a toy to you,
And you will push me to the brink
I will hurt, over and over,
Cutting deeper and deeper
Until everything in me is ruined,
Until I have hurt so much it isn’t possible to hurt any more.
When will you try?
To help me
To stop hurting me
To make me feel like I was supposed to be born
To help me not be afraid
Of you,
Of trusting you,
Of loving you,
’cause I can’t survive the destroying of my heart
I won’t always be able to pick up the pieces,
To mold them […]
kay so today i was in the lunch room and my tray was slammed into my face and a girl got in my face 🙁 so she strted talking crap her friend said wtf just punch her already…….. so she did :'( no one bothered to help me wtf i was picked up early i went home and my mom had to go back to work and i decided to be a dumbass and drink bleach……….. again……… i was n the hospital al day they flushed my system >:( i really dont understand AGAIN WHY AM I STILL HERE i tryed hanging my self too […]