I am fucked. It s not that I realized that just now but maybe at this moment i am completely aware of my state. i am partly proud because i am not trying to kill myself at least not today. it kind of hurts when you can’t change the fact that you don’t have anyone around you except your parents which are currently not here. i know this sounds pathetic but i really wish i have somebody who loves me for me, somebody who would hug me without me asking for it. i am at a really bad state now and i would like to […]
Tag:
Mom
I didn’t follow through with it..
No yet at least, I’ve been trying to journal, and i want to do it so badly but all i can think about is my mom, and when i start to i just invision her findind me, devastated… It kills me to know how much this will hurt her…
I want to die.
I have a gun but refuse to use it on myself because it’s only a .22 and I might survive. If I had anything bigger, I probably wouldn’t be here typing this. I really wish I had that gun, today I found out the girl I REALLY like and that I have been flirting with for the last month has a serious boyfriend, I can never get a girlfriend and I don’t know why. Shit like this always happens.
My family sucks too. I have nobody to talk to and nobody cares. I have […]
I.. um .. i went in to a fight with the boy i like , because i was having a bad day , and i called him a jerk  … now he’s not talking to me , AT ALL . I had a big fight with my mom…. she hates me , she sayd i should go out , and drink myself till I die …. i feel so small …. i feel .. alone . :’c
I’m sorry for existing … because i really , really don’t want to hurt anybody … but … i cant stand this anymore .. I hate this , […]
My family tree aint that good, Dad is an ass hole, always sayin I cant do nothing , mom hates that im not girly they both hate the fact im lesbian I want my future family tree to be better than what I have I want my girlfriend tgat ihave now for 2years to be my wife, have a beautiful home 2kids and a puppy.. NO yelling, NO abuse, NO put downs just being a happy family :’) :/
My name is Pete. Everyday I think about that day. I was reminded again today as I watched the news of Junior Seau. I pray for his family and his children. I had a difficult childhood especially high school. Little did I know that once high school is over a whole new life begins. No more harrassment no more bullying. I have read many posts on this site and I decided to write today!!!
On May 20, 2009, I got a phone call from my dad. He informed me that something was not right! It was a weird phone call because my dad nevers calls me. […]
Everyday is a struggle to stay alive. My best friend lives miles away from me since I moved because my mom got married to somebody she knew for 3 weeks. I’ve always been made fun of for being ugly. Even if I don’t talk to anyone I get made fun of. I have always moved around. I’ve had one boyfriend that I really loved armed about. He dumped me in eight grade. I want to die after everything. I don’t have support from my mom because she hates me. Legit. My dad doesn’t speak to me. I’m so alone. I have no one to talk […]
Hi , so i went to the animal shelter today . I saw soo much cute dog’s and cat’s  , and many of the dog’s we’re sooo happy to see me in a long time . I love this one dog who’s name is Heimlakka he’s a 9 month old dog who’s always happy … i love Heimlakka because he has adorable eyes , if you look into his eyes they make you think … his eyes are sad , dark brown and sentimental . He makes me happy . 🙂
Then there was one cat , i don’t know what his name was , […]
Back in January, i really realized that my life really sucked. Im an overweight 15 year old girl in 9th grade. I always hated myself in middle school because it felt like i didn’t fit in with anybody. And it felt like nobody liked me. Then, the bullying started. In 7th grade =, this boy named Cameron started calling me names and pushing me in the hallways and stuff. He called me names like fat ***** and ugly hoe and stuff. He got expelled for that because someone saw what he was doing and reported it to the principle. Then in 8th […]
Hello, everyone.
Not so sure what to say. This is my first time ever posting anything on a website for, like, 3 years. So please bear with me 🙂
Basically, I literally feel entirely worthless.  When I was growing up, my mom was an emotionally distant alcoholic, and my dad was emotionally and physically abusive. They were both also extremely over-protective and critical of me. My dad is probably the most negative person I’ve ever met. I don’t think I have ever heard him say one positive thing about me and really meant it. When I was younger I tried to over-achieve and impress him, but the […]
An email I chose not to send (altered to maintain anonymity):
I am going stir crazy. I really want to see you, but I can’t find a good excuse. Mom is psychologically abusing me, and I don’t think I can take it much longer. She constantly monitors me. She waits until there is no noise coming out of my room before she falls asleep. I don’t even think she sleeps most days. That would explain her insane need for productivity. I have no one to talk to at home who will listen to me and support me. I am trying to see my therapist here without […]
I have never been rich. There was never a time where my mom had money to throw away. We always have had just enough. But it has never been this bad. My mom has never really bothered me with financial problems. Usually if we are late on a bill or something she just finds a way to pay it. But its gotten to the point where there is no way. My step dad doesn’t work enough to pay for everything and my moms disability check barley pays 1 bill. Everyday something new is getting cut off. Now my mom is selling pot to pay the […]
I guess I should start from the beginning. My name is Sunshine. Well not really, but its an alias. I don’t care if my punctuation is that great either. I have been there. Maybe my life hasn’t been as bad as a lot of people, but I am fighting my own demons. I have always felt like an outsider. I have a list of things wrong with me. I don’t currently take any medication for anything either. I have attempted suicide as well as have cut in the past. I still get very depressed every so often. And I don’t like talking about it because […]
kso lately i feel like i ruined everyones lives.
i ruined my moms life because she had to have me when she was 16 and drop out of school and couldnt become a nurse like she wanted. but she did go back and finish high school. 10 yrs later.
i ruined my dads because, well he had to have me also at a young age. but he walked out on my mom when she was pregnant with me.
i ruined my families life because i just did. they always tell me they would be better off with out me. (well my sisters always say that)
maybe they will be better off […]
My mom just gave birth to a baby girl which means i now have 4 sisters. I’m afraid that she’ll end up to hate the world,to feel unwanted and to feel like she needs to be perfect like the other 3. I want this baby to be positive about everything,to believe,to hope,to think that everything isn’t based on appearance and that everyone should be excepted. I want her to be open minded and open hearted like i am. Me as the first born watched as my mother attempted to raise us all in hate but i was the only one able to wake up and […]
I am surrounded by people yet I am so lonely, my husband doesn’t love me, thenonlynman that did is dead, my dad, my mom adores my brother that have taken from me my life, money love and I work hard for everything. My own husband doesn’t provide for me less emotionally. I a a piece of meat. I’m lost so tired I just wishnJesus would come for me. It was a mistake to be born. I don’t fit in and I am worthless to all. Now my greatest joy mynjob isntakingnanchange formthenworse, and all I have is a computer to type and hope that […]
Everything started when my mom remarried. I was such a happy kid. I liked her new husband. Until he changed completely. As soon as they got married. That always seems to be the case. He ruined me. He beat me almost daily. I went to school with black eyes often. Luckily people believed that I was just clumsy. I told my dad that this was happening, and begged him to get full custody so I could escape the hell house. All he had to say was “I don’t want to start a war with your mother…” Thanks dad. I guess it’s better that I get […]
Me and my step dad dont ever talk. He’s been my step dad since i was 7 and Im 15 now and we have never had a real conversation. I try to ignore that i dont have a dad in my life but it gets hard. Today my mom asked me to clean the living room and i said ya and nicely asked my step dad to throw his trash away instead of leave it in there and hes like no thats what your for. He honestly doesnt give a shit about me. And Im fine with that i guess.. but I cant stand when […]
So I’m not dead. Apparently the gun show does not permit loaded weapons, it’s only staring at guns and ogling them and done. No test firing or anything… -_- So I’ll be alive.Â
I’m going to ask out my cousin Jasmine. Going to ask her if she’ll be my secret girlfriend. A term I’m using since she has feelings for me as I do for her. I’m going to ask her next time I see her, but I don’t know when that will be. She saved me from choosing death, I have a chance with her.Â
I don’t believe in God, but in this past week I […]
So i woke up today , i was actually happy . My mom wasn’t home , she was at the store .. I was home alone ,in a long time . My stepfather , he’s in finland . So i started to listen to some music . I danced , i laughed , i SMILED . I don’t know why , but i was just happy .:)
AAAAND THEN, my mom came home , and the minute she walked in … i turned the music off , closed my door , and stoped smileing .
I’ve listen to three days grace , sentce then , […]