Ive always had this depression and I never really tried to get rid of it because it helps with my art.Ive never been good at anything but that especially writting I tend to over write….like right now.Its never been this bad but I guess its becuse ive never fucked up this bad and I know youre going to think of me as one of the most cruel horrible heartless dumbasses but I assure you, I do have a heart Im just stupid.Back in highschool my freshman year was just a blur I mean it started off bad I was hit by suburban the third […]
Tag:
Motivation
Riley,
Our journey continues in my mind. We converse, we laugh, we dance, we engage in battle with zombies, we awaken the Harbinger in the ones who are lost and suffering. I know you’re suffering right now and it’s torture for me. If there’s anything I can do, let me know. I begin school in the spring (I hope) to obtain an associate’s degree in Physical Education. The Vampire Order grows and it seems as if my friends with Anonymous have the same intentions. I have discussed joining Anonymous with the Order. We feel at this time, we will remain separate, as we draw inspiration through […]
This is suppose to be over 30 days, but I’ll probably forget about it if I do that, so I’ll do it all now. To be honest, I don’t cut anymore, but I still thought it would be useful to do.
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
On and off for around three years. The first time I started when my brother tried to commit suicide and all the stress from that.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
Legs, breasts, back, you know, all the places that are easy to hide the scars
3. What […]
It’s been said that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. I don’t see that as a deterrent, who wants a temporary solution to any problem? Solutions are good, permanent solutions are even better. Anyways, my life sucks. Life doesn’t suck, just mine. And there is no one to blame but me. I don’t care enough about anything. I am unmotivated to make my situation any better. I just don’t care. People sometimes tell me to search for that desire or goal or want to strive for, only I don’t want anything. I don’t even want to die, I just don’t want to live […]
I have often been the kind of person to sit and slag other people off for wanting to commit suicide until one day i realised what it means to no longer want to live. I want to go away and die and look over my family now that my world has done me over. I once had it all and now i have nothing anymore so i’m ready to say goodbye all i want is for it to be painless like most of the other posters on this site. Please help me find a pain free way of leaving this world. I have contacted Dignitas […]
I’m not suicidal. I have too many things left undone. Most nights I wander onto here because I can’t find motivation to start the next day. There is nothing to say to me. All my solutions lie within myself.
I purely and thoroughly hate myself. There’s no sugar-coated layer to hide the fact of the matter.
Ever since I was a kid, clinical depression has lingered in every thought I’ve conceived. In public, I have it all: grades, musical/athletic talent, friends to fuck around with on the weekends. Reality? I’m smart, but totally unmotivated. I can answer questions in class and still not account for shit when it comes to my work. Music takes up my whole time, so what’s left for sports? I don’t want to get any unhealthier, but Jesus, my motivation spectra is as broad as the water level in the Saharra Desert. And sure, I have friends… Even that’s subjective, […]
If so, I’d like to know what it is. Life doesn’t seem worth it anymore. I came here out of desperation. I have nobody to share my feelings with. I am alone. I’m afraid to be close to people because they always hurt me in the end. Or maybe I’m alone because people generally do not want to be around me. “Freak,” they’ll call me, telling me how I am not worth their time. “Tell me, why haven’t you had a boyfriend? Are you lesbian?” They’ll ask me. Outraged, I deny, but they don’t believe me. It isn’t my fault nobody wants me. It isn’t […]
hi everyone.. im michael and i sometimes think about ending it.. alot.. i feel alone in this country.. and im scared to be myself.. i dont have any motivation to live for.. and i dont have a gf.. and im scared of girls and everyone.. and everyone looks at me funny and i worry what others think.. i overthink things and get depressed.. so i want to end it.. but im scared to do that i want to get away from my mom and i have no goals in life.. i cant post stuff on facebook. because they banned me.. so i want to end […]
Hey guys. I feel really dumb posting on this thing but I don’t know what to do. I have been feeling wicked low lately, well for a while but really really bad lately. I cannot even really put my finger on what is wrong. It just is. Everything feels awful to me. When I am with people I want to be alone and when I am alone I don’t want to be although when I am around other people I barely feel like I am even there. I can hardly think or get control of myself. I have no motivation and I feel empty and […]
Feel horrible today. I walked out on my job, because I couldn’t stand the bullying anymore, and I know I shouldn’t have to. Doesn’t change the fact that my friend had to pay my rent this month, and I need a job to pay bills. Makes me feel guilty as hell… I’ve never taken money from anyone. Now I’m just sick. I have no idea how I will face my boss, or how I will get the motivation and the courage to go out and look for another job.. this one was bad enough. Can’t even keep a shit job. What’s the point, I think… […]
not to kill me but to save me, i wish i had such thing but i have no motivation, i was so close yesterday but backed down yet again:/ i can think of reasons to actually do it, yet that damn whatever keeps pulling me back to fuckin earth, and no reason to save me whats the point to keep going? there isnt one, not one. im a disappointment to my WHOLE family, there isnt a light at the end of this tunnel its a tunnel of eternal darkness every step i make its ganna just stretch and stretch and never will i find my […]
Anxiety, depression, Bulimia Nervosa and cronically alone.
After seeking treatment for Comorbid major depressive disorder and Bulimia Nervosa I though I would change and consequently my life would change. Reality is a whole lot different. I constantly have suicidal thoughts, high levels on anxiety and extremely low moods.
I find my self in the grips of yet another bad Bulimia time. On a good night I eat dinner once and loose it once, on a bad night I might eat 3 and loose 3. I do it not to be thin but to ease the anxiety and stress and as an avenue for self harm. I am […]
Wishing. Hoping. Dreaming. Longing. Living. Breathing. Smiling. Laughing. Hurting. Wanting. Crying. Walking. Waking. Anything and everything. I’m so tired. Emotionally, psychically, mentally, any way possible. I don’t know what to do or who to go to, I don’t know what the meaning of living is anymore. I don’t know what the point it. So many people have it worse than me, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It doesn’t fix anything. Everything hurts. I’m torn down, broken, sad, no. More than sad. There’s no words for it. I have absolutely no motivation. I’m so emotionally numb to everyone and everything. I don’t know what […]
Well its finally official, I’m doing nothing with my life, I can’t even get up outbid my bed to get myself a Heath care card. I need it for when I go to tafe, which is like a college it’s just really shit, and cheap..
Anyway it’s going to cost 1606.00 If I don’t have a health care card, it’ll only be 303 less with one but yeah.
Well anyway, I’ve decided im not going to do this corse because I fail everything I try, and I don’t have the money or motivation at all.
I would rather work until next year and do something […]
People have told me. Just wait a few years and it’ll get better. I’m waiting…
written by RogueShadow1281
Will I suddenly feel better as soon as I’m out of high school. Is that the big change. I’m sorry, but one year is long enough.Â
I waited a while, it hasn’t changed much, or I’m too focused on one thing to see it. I, instead, have been going through shitty times (yet I may have over-exaggerated a bit) and that hasn’t really motivated me to keep going.
Please I don’t wan to wait any longer. A part of me wants to end it, it’s probably when I’m most depressed. There’s another part that wants to wait it out.Â
The problem with having 2 or more perspectives/personalities […]
I’m Hannah. It’s my first time on this website, or any suicide forum for that matter. I found this website researching certain things about suicide. I’ve made several suicide attempts for over a year now, and I’m dead set on succeeding  it this month. I don’t see a reason for living anymore. I’m useless. I’m so depressed that I don’t have the motivation to get out of bed, or eat, or speak, or even open my fucking eyes in the morning. It just all so pointless. The hurting, and suffering, and hoping. I grew up with an alcohol dependent, abusive, work obsessed father, a narcissistic, jealous, […]
I just don’t know where to turn anymore. I’ve had tons of problems my whole life, like anxiety, depression, alcoholism. My mother recently had a massive stroke in November of last year, and hasn’t recovered. And a little over a month after that, I lost my only brother to pills. I really don’t know what to do. I have never fit in this world, and the one person that always gave me motivation to keep going is now gone. My drinking has gotten completely out of hand, and the idea of getting sober and staying that way, well, scares the hell out of me. My […]
Whenever I read about suicide, including on this site, there is usually a page that tries to talk others out of suicide. Of course, I understand that suicide can be really traumatic for the deceased person’s loved ones. But that argument assumes that a person has close relations with family and friends. If you do not (and some of us don’t) then your passing won’t be deeply felt by anyone.
Secondly, if you have family and friends and you are suffering and you reach out to them and they do nothing, then you’ve done your job. You’ve made others aware of how you feel and they […]
Just when i needed people the most, they all just stepped back.. at the same time nonetheless. I can’t fix this, and it really feels like everyone just expects me to snap out of it. My kids are keeping here, but the torture and torment inside my head has become almost constant. It would be very easy to just give in to the thoughts but i can’t help but fight it and that’s what makes it worse. If i let the paranoia take over, I just wouldn’t allow anyone around me. but there’s this part of me that yearns for understanding. Someone who will try […]