Tag:

move

I lied

by Remnant The Unbroken 6/23/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

I decided I won’t leave the site. Mostly out of loneliness. This past month has been an unbearable hell, losing two people I really, really cared for. I’ve been lost as to what to do with myself. I’ve been really battling just ending it, and now because I’ve been such a numb, lonely, distraught mess, I don’t even know if I deserve something as easy as suicide.

Maybe I deserve to suffer for another 60+ years. And I know people come and go out of your life, but too many people go and never come back. I literally have no one outside my immediate family (meaning only my […]

6/23/2014 6 comments

“Suicide by a knife”

by XxHelloKittyxX 6/17/2014

written by XxHelloKittyxX

I cry,
and it hurts,
like acid streaming down my face,
tattooing the trails,
as they flow down my cheeks,
and drip from my chin.

The knife stings,
as i slice deep into my arm,
I smile,
and the blood runs warm,
then I go numb.

The darkness fades away to black,
and my body tenses,
I can hear someone screaming,
far off in the distance,
screaming,
yelling my name,
I try to respond,
but I cant,
I cant move,
I cant make a sound.

Then,
I realize what I have done,
and I stand,
looking over my cold lifeless body,
as you,
come and hold my hand,

6/17/2014 0 comment

i will die soon

by hellems92 6/15/2014

written by hellems92

Hey i just checked out this site.. bc i been looking for ways to kill myself and.get over the fear of pain. I have accomplished. that and bc the girl im in love with chooses to ignore me she will see ill be dead within 2 weeks. Why wait you guys say. Well i did actually attemp to od and ju,p off a bridge into traffic but i puked before i took the pills and got scared. But i ha e done my research. I will die by a mix of pills and alcohol. I will drink till my bac is so high and take […]

6/15/2014 13 comments

Remembering Carl and Monica…

by ajstevens 6/13/2014

written by ajstevens

I’ve never posted anything on a blog before, but given the circumstances, I feel obliged to speak out. I have lost my roommate Carl to suicide about a month ago. The circumstances were tragic. His sister had committed suicide last November and this had sent the family into a huge depression. Unfortunately, both of Carl’s parents are now dead as a result of their own hand. All of this was far too much. It still feels unreal to me. Things like this just don’t happen. I am unsure how to move on…..

6/13/2014 7 comments

Ugh

by uglyuglykenni 6/13/2014

written by uglyuglykenni

I’m stuck in my life. I just got into a fight with my parents and they told me I stink. They’ve been hinting that they don’t want me living here a lot lately. I could hair get a job and move out but I’ve ruined my life at 19 because I have drug charges against me. I was smoking weed on campus and I got caught. Actually I was smoking because I thought the weed would make me feel better…. It doesn’t btw. Weed makes me feel even worse. I hate me man.

6/13/2014 0 comment

Hell here I come

by LovingLife 6/7/2014

written by LovingLife

Music from the game Diablo, very “hellish” and creepy as it can get, I bet if there were music in the underworld it would sound like this.

Some thoughts:

I can see what you see not
vision milky then eyes rot
when you turn they will be gone
whispering their hidden song
then you see what cannot be
shadows move where light should be
out of darkness, out of mind
cast down into the halls of blind

and another:

So this is hell. I’d never have believed it.
You remember all we were told about the torture-chambers,
the fire and brimstone, the “burning marl.” Old wives’ tales!
There’s […]

6/7/2014 0 comment

by dead 6/4/2014

written by dead

If you can’t trust your own mind, can you really trust anything at all? I live in complete uncertainty, I can’t rely on myself or my own feelings. I constantly feel a whole bunch of nothing, or a whole bunch of everything. One day I’ll be head over heals for someone, and without warning I’ll wake up the next day and the only thing I feel for them is completely platonic, strictly friendly. The only thing I’ve found that feels right in this galaxy of wrong is completely impossible, a slap in the face. I vow never to have feelings for anyone, so why am […]

6/4/2014 2 comments

Why can’t you see?

by The_red_fairytale 6/4/2014

written by The_red_fairytale

It’s my fault, I made him mad.
So he does it, again and again.
No clues or evidence to be found.
Scared and lost, not knowing childhood.
Don’t move, don’t make a sound.
If he finds me i’ll be never leave this place.
Stuck here for eternity, crying and begging-
No more!
Please, not again! I’m sorry that I did something wrong.
Again
That smell, the pain and the guilt.
The words: the things he says
so cold and cruel
Why can’t he just end it already?
I don’t wanna be here anymore
Can’t you see my brokenness in my eyes?
The jagged stitching on […]

6/4/2014 1 comment

The drive

by addyaddy11 6/3/2014

written by addyaddy11

Tonight I plan on driving with no destination in sight. I have no idea where I will be going or what direction I will be driving. I can no longer live in this house. The pressure is to great. I hope that I will be reunited with the ones that love me and the ones that I love.

Some days i no longer want to try I no longer want to stress, some days I no longer want to move. I also know that I don’t want to leave this world early but the days that I don’t are few and far between. The thought of […]

6/3/2014 1 comment

i just feel so alone

by Mary Love 5/31/2014

written by Mary Love

I want love but I don’t know how to obtain it. I had a boyfriend for 2 years…I just feel so lost now. It’s been long enough to move on…he’s moved on. I just don’t know how to anymore.

5/31/2014 3 comments

Her…

by DarkKnight 5/31/2014

written by DarkKnight

The girl that always seems to come back to me one way or another in such a way that i want to control but emotions,memories all coming running back. I cant seem to move on, Ive tried so many times to forget but its not enough time because she comes back to me. Being broken up now for over 5 months, being together for a total of 3 years its hard to just forget someone like that. Are we meant for each other? Its her family that worries me…. They hate me…I don’t want to be hated for feel uncomfortable around them. What do i […]

5/31/2014 1 comment

Lost…

by hechatis 5/26/2014

written by hechatis

I’m weak. I’m so very very weak and scared and just… useless.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m too mch of a coward for anything and I’m just stuck unable to move either forward or back.

My self esteem right now is at a point where I can’t see any road that wouldn’t lead to failure. I can’t do anything, I have no more strength to persevere. I’ve tried and tried and tried and all I am is a failure and I can’t pretend I’m strong and can’t force myself to be optimistic anymore.

I’ve always run away from anything hard by burying myself in books […]

5/26/2014 0 comment

Trying to enjoy the last days of my life!

by LovingLife 5/24/2014

written by LovingLife

Hi to all,

Well, it has been 14 months since got sick physically – could not exercise or do anything after a while; things escalated and got worse every day. Now just breathing is so hard, and can’t even move without having terrible chest tightness, stomach aches, dry mouth and other stuff.

Docs first checked me for some general illnesses and after they found not a thing; it had to be in my head, of course.

The thing is not like many here may have; I have a physical sickness which is killing me and the docs can’t find what seems to be the problem, and then the […]

5/24/2014 2 comments

Stop Now

by Jaye 5/23/2014

written by Jaye

Everyone is getting sick of me.
I’ve been in the exact same state since my breakdown over a month ago. I’ve made no progress. If anything I’m worse.
I’m trying so hard but I can’t move on. I hurt so much. People are sick of dealing with my weakness and I don’t blame them, I just don’t know what else to do. I need help pretty much 24/7. I’m a mess.
If I don’t talk to people, I feel worse and so lonely. But they’re tired of dealing with my issues.
I’ve had my exit planned for a while now. It’s all there and ready […]

5/23/2014 3 comments

A New Beginning

by Frozen In Time 5/13/2014

written by Frozen In Time

Tonight, I was truly, for the first time in a very, very, long period, free.
Other than the pills working and pumping happy juice into my brain, I had a tremendous emotional catharsis.
I was finally able to move on from old expectations and loves ones.

It doesn’t feel anything special like I was extremely happy or anything, but I felt free.
For the first time since forever, I wasn’t tired, and found my energy slowly coming back.
This is great news for a depressed person like me.

I’ve found that I’ve been getting hurt all the time by my own expectations.
My expectations of myself, expectations […]

5/13/2014 1 comment

A New Low

by AarinaDaae 5/12/2014

written by AarinaDaae

My depression has been beyond bad for the past two weeks. I don’t think there’s been more than a 3 hour period where I didn’t think about ending it…ending life. And today, I’ve hit a new low. Not only did I make a mistake that I don’t remember doing, I’m being fired for it. I lost my job that provided my housing and most of my food. I now have to tell my bosses at my other job how much of a screw-up I am and move back home to face my parents. In my family, you don’t quit and you do everything 1000% to […]

5/12/2014 5 comments

still counting the stars

by fakingit 5/11/2014

written by fakingit

that little girl
she was so naive
didn’t know what life was
so sheltered as a kid
she forced herself
to learn alone
she made friends
some lied
some cried
some died
some succeeded
some failed
she was alone
she had to reach again..

where is that little girl?
shes had some growing up to do
grown up decisions led to adult consequences
she just didn’t learn
she tried so hard
she caved
she lit the lighter and inhaled
knowing the damage
4 months later she lost herself
her baby passed
and she cried

where oh where is the naive little girl?
she lifted up the clouds […]

5/11/2014 0 comment

Sunrise;Sunset

by AarinaDaae 5/10/2014

written by AarinaDaae

I have started this post a number of times and always find myself deleting everything. My words speak a story that sounds like a pathetic, whiny, “look at me” tale, however, that is not my intention. I simply want to be able to say what I need to say and say it in a way that is an accurate depiction of my thoughts and feelings without someone interrupting me or yelling at me saying, “Everythings going to be ok!” or “Why are you complaining so much?” If I have found myself here, obviously, everything is not ok. If I am complaining, then so be it. […]

5/10/2014 0 comment

by LetItGo 5/9/2014

written by LetItGo

What if I don’t want to move on anymore?
What if I feel so done with this world and life?
What if I dread waking up every morning?
What if I feel disappointed that I hadn’t died?
What if I am so hurt in this life that I can’t be fixed?

I can’t live like this anymore.
I’m so close to death.
I haven’t felt loved in months.
I have felt hated.
I’ve been hurt so much.

The young girl that was once inside of me
The young girl that was filled with hope
Filled with love and joy
The little girl that had a beautiful imagination

5/9/2014 6 comments

by czuniga 5/9/2014

written by czuniga

I’m new to SP and I have no idea where to start. I’ve done so many stupid things in the past. I read posts and I relate to almost all of them. I feel as if I understand you and I know you. I am always depressed, I have no idea what goes on my life anymore. I can’t find joy in the things I once loved to do. All I do is think about how useless I am, how depressed I am all the time, how my parents tell me crap all the time, I have no friends at all, seriously, and my boyfriend […]

5/9/2014 3 comments

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