So i woke up today , i was actually happy . My mom wasn’t home , she was at the store .. I was home alone ,in a long time . My stepfather , he’s in finland . So i started to listen to some music . I danced , i laughed , i SMILED . I don’t know why , but i was just happy .:)
AAAAND THEN, my mom came home , and the minute she walked in … i turned the music off , closed my door , and stoped smileing .
I’ve listen to three days grace , sentce then , […]
Tag:
Music
As i sit here i am playing “Born to Be Somebody” by Justin. Ive been listening to it for about 30 minutes now. ive never been one who’s into his music, but this song is helping me with my broken wings.
I am so tired, emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, just everything in me is tired. I wake up each and everyday and i plant a smile on my face. what else can i do? i was born into a family of strong christian faith and this, my feelings, my broken wings are not acceptable. So i hide. Smiling in my mother’s face like a hypocrite, laughing […]
Well, I was supposed to die exactly a year and two months ago. Ever since, I feel like I have been in a rut. I don’t know what to do. I’m 14 year old girl. I do have a boyfriend that I love and talk about all the time because I love him so much. I just can’t get out of this rut. I know he is scared for me in more ways than one. First, I can’t help it but I cut myself. Second, I am so depressed and I can’t open up to people that easily so I have a hard time telling […]
EDIT: Â My only thought was dying, I really didn’t consider the feelings of the person that would be driving the vehicle (obviously). I’m sorry. Â I’ll come up with something else then.
I haven’t eaten in a while, I mean, why bother to when I’m just going to die anyway. I thought long and hard about how to do it, I’m just not sure how much of an accident it will look like. No one is to know I’m doing it on purpose, that I want to die. That will only complicate things if I fail and end up in some hospital with a couple of broken […]
I haven’t been on in a while. For those of you who care, yes I’m still alive. I hit a new low today. I found myself smoking out a window at 2 a.m. I was supposed to quit on march 1st. I didn’t. I can’t. It’s the only thing that calms me down anymore. My 1st family therapy session turned into a complain about how much of a problem I am session. I hate this. All of this. My girlfriend is unwilling to go any further in our relationship, my parents r suspicious of my habits, I went back to cutting after 5 days s.i. […]
I sat in the bathtub, playing the same songs over and over but I wasn’t really listening.
It wont hurt. Someone told me you just get confused. Then it’s over.
I held my breath and dove under the soapy water. It was the first time I had done something like this. I had always wanted to die, but I had never tried to do it. Today was different.
It was a strange feeling. I had been under water plenty of times, I practically grew up at the local swimming pool, but today I wasn’t pretending to be a mermaid or trying to improve my backstroke: Today I was […]
so years have passed since ive felt this bad…….every day i get more and more paranoid about some issue or about some person looking or thinking about me the wrong way. I become fixated and obsessed with one issue. I closed my eyes while I was driving today just to day dream what would happen if i just took a quick left or right turn….would people finally give me some attention or listen to what i have to say. I feel like im ignored in every part of my life….i was very young when i started cutting my arms and thighs and havent done it […]
I am a recent college graduate. I want to go on Facebook, and message this person from my year, and tell her that my life has been a lot of bullshit since graduation. I know this is a bad idea for a number of reasons. I just really want someone to tell me that their life has been a lot of bullshit as well. I just want to make a connection with someone. In truth, I have two good friends, but they don’t like to listen to my problems. They also spend most of their time absorbed in video games, and while I am a […]
Suicide? Is some way out of a miserable life. As for others, it seems as if there is no other road but that.
But its wrong, and your vision is blurred. There’s so many things you can do to help yourself, without going to any suicidal facility.
I myself love helping people, and people who WANT to live get their life tooken away everyday. People who have a loving, caring family, die everyday. MORE then half of the whole world is dealing with problems, and a bit less then half actually go threw with suicide. The bit that try and don’t make it, they realize many things […]
Well. My best friend is dead, and now my ex killed herself too. I’m like a fucking walking deathnote. I honestly can’t feel a thing anymore. All I feel is pain. I’ve lost everything. My best friend, my friends, my grades, my music, my health. All that’s left to lose is my life. who or what will take that away from me? At this rate, it will be myself.
Do you love your Cat? Do you love any music? Do you love to write? Do you love a good movie? Even if you answer no at this moment to any of those questions, is the answer yes at other times? Depression is like having your outlook switch switched to negative and the only way you can see your world is thru glasses of boredom or hate. This is not the Full and Real You…it’s like a mean alter ego that’s trying to destroy you…don’t let it! You can outlast the depression monster, and other folks are here to help u do that! Just keep […]
I shouldve tried harder last night. I wake up this morning, I find out that I failed every assignment I handed in. I officially have failed highschool. I’ll have to retake all of sophomore year. My girlfriend got ridiculed about me n I about her, so she hasn’t even looked at me today. My best friend tried to kill herself n is back in the hospital. My two other friends both were gone today. I got blamed for shit I didn’t do and I got a detention. I destroyed my hip flexor so that ends my track career. My parents destroyed my piece n my […]
My List Of Kickass Music That Some Of You May Like:
1. Tricky-Wash My Soul
2. Tricky-Poems
3. Tricky-Christiansands
4. Massive Attack-Dissolved Girl
5. Massive Attack-Risingson
6. Massive Attack-Live With Me
7. Portishead-Roads
8. Portishead-Wandering Star
9. Portishead-Glory Box
10. Silversun Pickups-Lazy Eye
11. Silversun Pickups-Rusted Wheel
12. Silversun Pickups-Catch and Release
13. Azam Ali-In Other Worlds
14. Niyaz-Dunya
15. Niyaz-Sadrang
16. Niyaz-Tamana
This List Is Songs I’ve Been Listening To For The Past Month. I Love Them Like Friggin Crazy
I don’t have anything to write, because I can’t put it into words. Â I’ll just complain.
I’ve pulled away from my friends, and I’m dating a guy that I could care less about because that’s easier than getting hurt.
It’s been a long process, but I’m finally at that point where I can really say that I don’t really have friends. Â I have people that I can count on, but nobody that I would talk to. Â People have tried to help me in the past, but they always end up doing more damage. Â And as for the guy, I don’t really know what to do with him. […]
It’s 3 am, I can’t sleep, but I am tired.
I wrote a few weeks back, this is a follow up, things have not gotten any better.
I managed to tell a girl i was inlove with that it was so, she reacted as i had thought, told me there were no feelings and ignored it ever happened, it bothers me. Not just that i feel somewhat heart broken, It’s is not too bad. It is more the feeling that this is the one person i can talk to about my real thoughts, but it is slipping now. I feel myself growing more distant, not daring to […]
I guess I’ll open up my story, for whoever wants to read i guess. For the past years, i have been in such a long term depression. (on & off.) I’ve never ever been truly happy, for no less than 2 weeks or to where I didn’t even know what sad was anymore. It’s actually the other way around, i feel like i can’t even tell what happiness is. Ever since i was born, my dad was a big alcoholic. Always came home with a brown bag of liquor after work, and always stayed in his room. Telling my siblings and I, that he was […]
http://youtu.be/2UJOl1P4KQw
Im not afraid of death because I know exactly whats going to happen. It will be just like before I was born.. i will no longer exist, i will no longer have to wake up only to struggle to get out of bed and face another day just like the last. The only think that seems to keep me going is music.. it gives me some drive, but it wont be enough in the long haul. In school, college and in life in general I have always did my best to do ”as little as possible”… anything that has ever mattered in my life I […]
I had an absolutely amazing life for the longest time. I’m not attractive and I’m shy, but I had amazing and wonderful friends, very good grades, and I was happy. Over the summer I had to move across the country with my family. I am miserable here. Nobody talks to me, and they all look at me strangely at school because I’m punk and I have piercings and I’m not the most attractive person. I have no friends and no one to talk to. I tell my parents I’m upset and I can’t do this anymore, but they tell me it will pass and I […]
If I die young – The Band Perry
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Uh oh, uh oh
Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She’ll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh well
Life ain’t always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain’t even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in […]