I’m quite young (only twenty) but I feel very alone, let me begin by saying that I have spent most of the last four years by myself going more than a month at a time without seeing or speaking to anyone that I knew just the checkout person at the supermarket asking how I am sometimes I would try to respond but could not find the words, I moved back into the city less than a year ago and things where a little better then when I lived in the country side but things changed quickly, these days when I see people I always feel […]
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my life
Most people will say I’m one of the most cheerful people around but the truth is I’m not a happy person and I haven’t been for quite a long time. Nearly 2 and a half decades of putting on a smile for people has left me exhausted both emotionally and physically. I’ve lost all motivation in my life, I just want to end it and the only thing stopping me is I’m too afraid of the truama I’ll cause my family, my brothers look up to me and I’ve only started getting along with my parents again. I know that living will keep them happy […]
I haven’t been on this site in almost 2 years.. I thought abt it a lot but never had an opportunity to get on. I’ll fill yu guys in on Wats happened since last time I been here… I was in a foster home in merrillville where I started doing heroin. I got caught and tried to run away but the cops picked me up I was brought to this place called the crisis center (the A house or alternative home) it wasn’t so bad there I actually kind of miss it but of course at the time I hated it but I meet some […]
Im laying here in my bed. Wondering what kind of man i really am? I adore my children. I have a great job. My wife is good to me sometimes. Life shoukd be all dandy but its not!! My wife and i have been together for 7 almost 8 yrs. We fight alot and have grown distant, we differ on alot of things one being raising our kids theres her way(spoiling) then theres my way(stearn). Im blamed for being to hard on them because im the only one who is? Im the only one convinced im not a bad father. I fear my kids hate […]
I get told I’m fat. I weigh 130 with a height of 5’6.5″ I now eat small portions, try not to eat anything in between meals, and I go to bed at night and dream of the food I could eat. I get up from the table and feel so hungry. I want to eat so much more but I can’t let myself eat. I have a congressional debate meet this friday-saturday. We can’t wear bracelets…. I will be so vulnerable I’m not looking forward to it. I got told today that I work too hard and need to stop trying so hard. I study […]
sad enough to want death but not crazy enough to actually do it. Anybody else simply sitting in their boat and waiting for a tsunami to end it all? I’m feeling extra sad today, not sure why. I’m trying really, really hard to upgrade my job skills but whenever I sit down to study, I end up doing something else until I quit and trick myself into believing that I’ll get started tomorrow instead (been saying that since February).
I’m here, ready to study this IT junk, but once I get started, I lose all energy and desire to better myself. I pull the rug out […]
I was joyful for a few moments…I don’t even remember why…Then I thought about my life and I got so damn sad again.
48 years old, virgin, never dated, tired of my life. I keep being told it’s up to me to change it, but since it never changes, clearly I don’t do anything to change it. Get depressed reading old posts of mine on internet from five, ten years ago, nothing changed in my life. I just don’t see the point in keeping on. Advice, go out more, exercise, join clubs, for what? I tried, nothing happened, okay got to keep trying, for what? More nothingness? I can’t stand myself, I don’t believe I can change my life for the […]
Where do you go when you have so many problems that you dont fit in anywhere? No meaning to my life. No love. No one. Mercury poisoned and severely damaged. Multiple Chemical Sensitivity drives me to the wilds. Isolation even in crowds. Disabling anxiety, the slightest sound makes me jump inside. Completely disillusioned with society. Unwilling to support slavery and destruction of the earth and her creatures for my own survival… Not much left as i see it…. Not necessarily trying to die, but dont really see a way to live in this toxic wasteland. Soon to be homeless. […]
Well, it’s been about two weeks. As with most things in life, I failed to remove myself from it. A week in the hospital and the doctors are still calling it an accidental overdose. I think that they are in denial. How could “someone with so much to live for and so much going on possibly want to kill themselves. It doesn’t add up.” At least, that’s what they’ve been telling themselves. I can go home tomorrow. My kidney’s are recovering though I’ll be on alert the rest of my life, however long or short that is, to make up for the damage caused by […]
I gave my heart to a man. Completely. Irreparably. For 10 years. He said he loved me. He said I was his best friend and soul mate. He promised to marry me. He promised a life together.
I sacrificed a lot to be with him. My best friend hated him so I distanced myself from her. I waited a long time for him to keep his promises.
I’m sick now, since June. Have missed so much work. Am in a lot of pain. I need stomach surgery. All my doctors suck. They’re in no hurry to fix me. They want tests and more tests. […]
I don’t know why, I told my wife that I hate her. I do t hate her at all, it’s just easier to push people away so taking your own life will be easier. As I’m writing this I’m looking for a long enough extension cord in my garage so that I can hang myself. I’m going to make it easy on my wife and call the police before I kick the stool out from under me so that they find me and not her. I’m not an abusive husband, I work very hard to provide for my wife and son. I just think it […]
Hey everybody, first thing I want to say is thanks for taking the time out of your day to read this.
My name is Chris, I am 16 years old and this is the first time I’ve ever thought about attempting suicide. I feel like I don’t have the balls to do it though. My life has been just horrible the past few years. I just need someone to talk to. Let me tell you my story:
About 10 years ago my sister ran away to get married. I was only 6 years old. My parents, my brother, my cousins, Etc never got to see the wedding. […]
I’ve been depressed for almost eight years now, since my dad passed away. I have 18 days to plan exactly how to kill myself on the 15th of October, which is my dad’s death anniversary.
So far, my options are getting a tank of helium and using that, getting out of the country and buying ******** or simply throwing myself off a building.
Fuck, it’s also such a ***** planning your own funeral. I’m atheist and I need to leave clear instructions so no one tries to give me a religious procession.
Do people kill themselves because life is too overwhelming? Because, personally, I find it completely underwhelming. […]
I imagine my story is a lot like everyone else’s. Crud family & upbringing, string of abusive men, over achieving intellectual, unemployed, getting older, desperate to be normal & fit in. All I’ve ever got right is my two boys. My life shouldn’t cause suicidal thoughts, but last night I tried again. Obviously didn’t work. Ex saved me. I just see no point to my existence…at all.
So I turn 18 tomorrow. And I promised myself that I wouldn’t turn 18 like this. I told myself that the fucked-up version of me would not live to see 18. Yet here I am, about to turn 18 the same depressed, lonely, self-destructive wreck that I’ve always been.
How could I have been so stupid to think that everything was going to change by just wishing? I would do anything to feel happiness. To feel love. To feel anything but this pain. But I feel like I physically can’t do anything about it.
I wish I had a gun. My life is such a mess that I can’t […]
I’m 27. I’ve been depressed since I was a teenager and quit high school when I was 17. I’ve been dealing with anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts ever since. I’ve lived many years as a hermit, then started going to therapy and I was institutionalized for a year. Then last year, when I had turned 26, I was done with therapy and I needed to take the next step, so I went back to school. I don’t have any diploma’s, noone is going to hire me (nor am I ready for a job), so school it was.
The sad truth is that I deserve what has happened to me. I don’t want to be a victim anymore. My life has gotten better and worse since I originally joined SP April of last year. I’ve been in love and then lost it, I’ve made friends and lost them just as easily, and I have felt successful and happy for the first time and then lost it. I use the word lost as if I had any control over the situations, but I didn’t. All of those things were taken from me while I sat and watched. I surrendered before the fight even began. […]
I know this is going to devastate everyone that I love and that loves me and for that, I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I honestly do love each and every one of you and I pray that this doesn’t make you love me any less or think less of me.
This is not something I am taking lightly. The worst part of this is not the fear, its not the unknown, its knowing that I am going to leave behind my pain for others to have to experience. What I do know is that every one of you are so much […]
I did not intend to create this post but because of the interest my last post made I decided to add this one.
Many have asked not only here but during the many hospital admissions that I have had to read my living will. Being on the “Inside” of healthcare I have seen the many loopholes that both family and physicians have used to get around a persons living will and provide treatments that the patient NEVER wanted.
The two biggest examples that I know of are as follows:
1. Excluding “Treatable/Reversible” conditions. Let’s say that a persons living will states no to mechanical […]