the scars that you see
they are all made by me
and my tears have turn red
with the blood that ive shed
people think im lost to the madness
but really im just cloaked in sadness
i could use a rope or i could use a knife
i see the pain and i see the hurt
i feel my heart begin to burst
why cant they see
that my life
ive been afraid of
me
Tag:
my life
I am so dissatisfied with my life. So much that if a natural disaster occurred to kill me or someone murdered me, I would probably be okay. I don’t want to commit suicide, or I guess I can’t. I’m too scared. I’ve thought about cutting, but I think about the pain and how I have to bring a knife to my skin, and I just can’t. I feel so stressed. I have so many dreams and goals that I want to achieve, but I know that my dreams are just dreams and that reality will catch up sooner or later. Reality that I’m not smart, […]
I personally have contemplated suicide for over 15 years… it’s tough to determine when I started considering it so I’ve approximated.
I realise that everyone has had different pasts and different reasons for considering suicide… but is moving past the idea of suicide, is it something that is truly genuinely possible? Moving past like never think of suicide again.
The only thing that i have been able to do is suppress the desire but it is always there… it just depends. I spend a lot of time ruminating about my past… I can’t seem to move past this either. I don’t have a lot of activity […]
I think I might have made a post like this some time ago, but the last few months have been … odd, to understate the case. I have some facets, some core beliefs I’ve formed, that make me an impossible girl indeed.
1) I’m a grey ace. Grey asexual. I can feel some sexual desire, though largely when reading erotic fic or something, sometimes for someone I care about, but I don’t want sex. Romance, yes. Sex, no. It took me a very long time to accept that this doesn’t make me broken, it simply puts me on a different […]
Im sure theres nobody online riht now to read this so you will probably be readingthis when im done. Ive been waiting for years for the right help and it just seems im too hard to help. Im having a good drink and will be walkiing into the path of a lorry wen im numb enough. Dont think there will be too many unhappy faces. Goodluck to the resdt of you. My life was pointledss. Peace out
For as long as I can remember I have had to deal with the vindictive game my mom likes to play, I’m not talking about the casual fighting, I’m talking about an actual goal to ruin my dad, my brother and my life. It’s countless years of verbal abuse even though I have tried so hard to be a good student and kid. I clean the house constantly, cook for my family, have a job and maintain a 4.0 average, I do this all to alleviate the amount of stress my mom already puts on my dad. I am now a senior in high school, […]
Why do I post my story?
I can and i have time.
To see how people react so works like a mirror reflecting my life.
Simplily a statistic data for researchers on human studies.
So whats the story?
For saving time and to be short. Im aged 27, living in a far east city, and had four of suicide attempts.
I was born in Hong kong 1988. In a normal family of Chinese. My dad has been a U.K. Police Force from his age of 18 till retired. Thats like a life time job for him.
At age of 3 i started to write and read Chinese. at age of 4 started […]
There’s no walking out. We talked about the fiery deepest pits of hell. But even above here is also a fiery hell.
I don’t need to open the score anymore. I don’t need to study anymore. Or watch the news. Or take up any examination. It won’t make a difference. The end is crystal clear.
When you said my life would be in the dumps, I didn’t think you were serious.
So that is why my mother never put much hope in me. This life is a mess, and no amount of investment will change it.
That house, this house, that room, this room. It’s […]
So where do I even begin? Well, I signed up for this website so I guess I should explain why. Currently, I am not thinking about suicide, but I have in the past and fairly recently thought about how I would do it, why I would do it, who I would hurt and so forth, and then I realized that if anything happened to me, no one would know why, so here I am. Telling all of you what I can’t tell anyone in person.
I’m 15, I turn 16 in three weeks. I have a job that’s pretty mediocre, get good grades, I’m what you […]
Am I the only one to contemplate suicide based on philosophical considerations?
written by ThePhilosopher
Compared to some of the stories of unspeakable suffering on this site mine may seem almost frivolous at first glance but I assure you it is not frivolous to me.
I was born with a brain that seems tailor-made for science and philosophy. As a boy of 11 I acquired books about physics, cosmology and philosophy. I can’t say that I understood everything at that age (I am not a genius) but I understood quite a bit, certainly enough to get me hooked for life.
I was especially fascinated by questions about the origin of it all (Why is there anything at all and not nothing?) and […]
Wow. I haven’t been writing for 3 months and now I’m back again. It’s funny cause I thought I was doing so well. Turns out, I’ve been lying to myself. Yes, people have it worse than me but does that mean my problems don’t matter? I’m about to start college soon after graduating early one whole year. The expectation of everyone is really weighing down on me. The stress of handling everything, every action that I take from now on is being carefully watched and judged. I’m trying to handle so many things in my life and I think I’m getting overwhelmed again. I know […]
Hello to whoever is reading this,
Two years ago I posted a suicide note on this website with the sincere belief that I would be dead within a week of posting it. But, I guess things don’t always go as planned. The day I planned on doing it, I realized that I couldn’t do it. Whether it was me being too weak, too scared or just too depressed to even follow through with my last plan, I just didn’t end up dead.
I don’t know what stopped me, but I am thankful for it. 2 years later, my life has turned around.
Now don’t get me wrong, I […]
I am a girl who is 19 years old. For years I have always contemplated suicide. I have physically harmed myself in many ways, including hitting my head against stuff, punching walls, and cutting up my hands. Recently, I have been thinking into deeper matters. Life usually is supposed to get better, right? Doesn’t occur in my case. Regardless of what goes on in my life, no matter how positive I am in all situations, nothing ever good happens. Yes I hear the whole it gets better speech, everything anybody can name and all the stuff from the books. I’ve heard personal experiences and all […]
I am tired. Have not slept much in days or weeks or months. Seems like i keep reinjuring shoulder/neck injury from last accident where they hit my car. I am just tired of it all, the memory loss, thr cognitive and iq drop, the injuries, constant nightmares and not sleeping. I just want it all to end. I cant get medical, dental, or psych help here, for psych they don,t preform any tests written or physical so i dont know where i stand withe cognitive function loss and iq loss. Dont know whats going on […]
I’ve always had a theory. Our lives comprises of mainly two distinct aspects, “professional” and “personal” and we’ll need either of the two to at least find a reason to survive. Well, I got none at this point. I’m neither a person with an an amazing career worthy of mention or a perfectly polished personality nor am I a happy unicorn with a handful of moments to remember when I die. I feel I’m the poorest among billions of souls in this world right now.I’m scattered in pieces searching for my identity and I feel I’m doing some kind of favor to the world by […]
What’s wrong with my life? Ask again. Ask what isn’t wrong. I’m eighteen years old. I have no parents. I have twin boys that are three years old. I attend college full time. Plus I recently got a DUI and I can’t pay for my children and court fees and attend college. My family always seems to be oushing for more and more until I’m at the breaking point. How do I cope with all of this? I take it day by day, today is history and tomorrow is a mystery. God bless!
I think I’m the reason I can’t have nice things. I break everyone good who comes into my life. Fuck you very much to the doctors and nurses who “saved” me that night in the ER in November 2011. You should have let the benzos finish what they’d started.
I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t live like this, with my depression. I don’t think I was meant to be happy. How am I supposed to keep going?? What’s the point. I hate everything. What am I supposed to do with my life? Seriously.
My life really isn’t that bad. i wasted 8 years in the military and was suicidal almost everyday for the last year that i spent in. i was always on some kind of anti depressant or a tranquilizer. once i got out i stopped my medications and i feel better yes. but i still have the thought on a daily basis that I’m tired of my life and feeling unaccomplished with everything that i have going on. its a struggle, i have a girlfriend, i go to school, and i medicinally use cannabis. but i cannot seem to every get out of the slump, I’ve […]