i thought you would be there for me
you promised me that you would
but now you broke that promise
and you may have broken me
but do i let you know about my shattered heart
about the tears running down my face
about the urge to cut because i need you
do i let you know about the sadness dwelling inside of me
of course not because that would break you
and if i broke you i would be indirectly breaking myself
its sad how i know that you dont need me
as much as i need you in my life
but yet i […]
Tag:
need
Abusing Parents, No friends, No girlfriend, No support from anyone :'(
by abhishek
written by abhishek
My name is Abhishek, I’m 23 years old. My parents are abusing me everyday and everytime. No matter how much I try to avoid them, they just find a way to put me down. They want me to die. I haven’t done anything wrong, I’m just a guy who helps others and this is what I got for my goodness. I had a girlfriend but I have to leave her because of my parents. I’m lonely and I have nobody to share my pain. I want to cry but I stop myself thinking that I must become stronger in order to survive. But now I […]
It just won’t. A devoted partner, a caring parent, a sympathetic friend or hell even the purest love of all, the love of a dog, won’t save you.
Suicide, or at least the suicide I know, is like drowning in the ocean. Love is like someone on the shore praying for you. It may give you a moment’s satisfaction to know that someone is worrying about you, but in the end the only thing that can save you is if something physically drags you out of the ocean.
Love doesn’t do that. Love can soothe you, distract you, make you feel like you have a purpose, maybe […]
I’m tired of being taken advantage of and sacrificing everything that has defined me. The lies, betrayal, and overall the feeling of stupidity has destroyed my way of life. I never have put so much depth into thoughts, creating these insane scenarios, having my mind beat me till I’m black and blue. People. The more I surround myself with people, the worse everything gets. Taunted, ridiculed, and abused for absolutely no reason at all. The second that happens, I instantly feel lower than others, comparing myself to others. Deep down, I’m fucking raging with hate and  desperately seeking for some kind of justification for all […]
what the fuck? chemicals affect behavior? no fucking way, the data is wrong, the scientists are stupid. look, here is the truth: what do BABIES do? fucking nothing. then when they hurt, they start crying screaming hellfire torture. they don’t DO anything, except scream when they hurt. babies KNOW the TRUTH. everything you do is LEARNED, it is sensed through PERCEPTION. a blind baby cannot see, so they CANNOT perceive things through eyes, so functionally sight is a LIE to them. they are TOLD that others can see, they have NO WAY of knowing except for your words to them. everything is LEARNED, everything is […]
I cannot understand a world that makes children feel like they need to end their own lives to stop the pain. I cannot understand how parents fail to take the time to give a shit about what their kids are going through, or worse, torment them, abuse them, and belittle them! I cannot understand people who put down others in an attempt to make themselves feel better. I cannot understand a fucking thing!
T if you are still here please check your email and call me. Please let me know you are safe.
Sometimes I wish I was a robot. I mean, damn it’s like my body is PMSing non stop. One minute I’m alright and then the next I want to kill everyone in the house and then myself.
Just shoo anxiety, shoo depression. Scat, get away! Before I get the rolled up newspaper and start beating my head with it. Like a fly on the wall.
Screw meds, we need a new form of flyswatters….. mentalissueswatters
i feel a crying jag coming on for no particular reason. just really sad today. i am pretty sure i took my meds this morning though my memory sucks when i am in this state. i wonder what it would be like to not take meds. just be me au naturale. i suppose i would just fall further into the abyss. though at this time i question whether there is much more to fall into. my suicidal thoughts are all encompassing. i see my death in everyday things. falling down the stairs, crossing the street, cutting up vegetables, burning myself on the stove. when i […]
Hey i really need somebody to start travelling with full time, backbacker style. I live in montreal, so if you live in canada and are interested, really serious, hit me up and we can laugh, cry, exchange, travel and live together for a while. zamilee1@gmail.com for any info about me and talking about how we’ll organise our meeting! I don’t bite! I won’t say my life story here, so please write to me !!! I am so sick of this place and need to get away from this 🙁
I feel numb to all happiness surrounding me. I smoke pot daily, just so I feel a thrill from this life, and a little escape from every day’s crap. I need a bigger trip. Like mush or acid. Or love. I’ve been waiting for someone to love for 17 years now. All I got was hurt and scared. I just need to kiss and hug and comfort someone.Talk and cry with them. Run and laugh and live with them. All I have is a broken sister, an overwhelmed mother and a hole in my heart. I feel so empty and even tho I love myself, […]
It always seems just one step away. like i just need to reach my hand out and i will touch it, feel it, grab it. and yet it remains one step away. its so frustrating. i feel like ‘yeah, yeah, there it is. touch it. touch it.’ it remains in front of my eyes.
This might be a trigger to some, so beware
Honestly every time I cut it just gets everywhere. all over my arms, my hands, on the paper I use to smear crude words with the red stuff. it sticks to everything too. yet I can’t seem to bleed enough. I want to bleed more. but every time I cut deep enough to keep a decent flow it hurts like f***….but I still do it. I don’t do it for the pain either.
I think I just associate blood with death…like cutting and bleeding is as close as I’m going to get to death since I really […]
I wish I had someone who cared
I wish I had someone who would wipe away my troubled tears.
I want someone to keep me up high,
even when I just want to die.
Everyone has that person they need,
of course everyone except for me.
I yearn for the love of truth,
the person who was destined for me ever since birth.
Stay strong, he’ll say at the end of every goodbye,
but the joke’s on him, because he’s the reason I’m still alive.
I wish I could have the one, who will love me for me,
and not care for scars.
I wish […]
I’ve found self-confidence through the military, but the depression is getting to me. I need to get out of the army, last 3 more weeks, but I keep making mistakes. I keep falling down. I need to go home, the sergeant hates me now. He thinks I’m an idiot and I’m messing up because I can’t handle the stress. I don’t want to tell him because I’ll be stuck here longer. I just need to wait it out and get home safely.
we need a base. we seek for a base. we invent it; we call it self. the thing on which you can stand your desires, the thing which you think you own and can call yours, the thing using which you can rationalize your arguments (and others seem to acknowledge them, for they also need it). indeed you can suffer for this self, just for the sake of owning it. which came first – self or desire? ‘Thought, with an end in view, creates the thinker’ – J. Krishnamurti. anyways. once i had a self, non-reflecting type. it was the one given by society. then something happened. […]
I hate having a friend that has a life. Â It makes me feel so out of place. Â Honestly, It’s like I need that person but they don’t need me. Â It’s the truth, and it sucks. Â Really, they are just there out of pity. Â Pity, pity, pity. Fuck you, pity.
Yeah whatever.
Why does everyone have to dress like hookers when it starts to get hot outside? Seriously, do they feel it is mating time and they need to attract sexual partners for breeding? And then when someone not as optically attractive as they are wears the same kind of clothes they are criticized and laughed at for doing the exact same thing. Anyways, there are enough fine pieces of clothing which aren’t too warm to wear and which cover more than just the reproduction organs.
And imagine a guy wearing the same clothes, or even worse a NERD wearing those clothes: I don’t want to think about […]
My x is just wow he cheated on me and then all of a sudden today at lunch hes like hey i made a mistake i know and im stupid i lost the best thing ever can you give me another chance im like no
why
cause your a liar and cheater
so what i can change
um no ive seen how you are even now you flirt you cheat you think everythings a game well how about no you dumb fucking liar huh
….wow youre more mean
well so what everyhting thats happened to me i guess makes me abit colder and colder
ok well whatever i dont need you
ok i […]
I wrote this song for the broken people out there.
It’s been posted in mp3 format on sp, but for those who may need encouragement, or for those who may just need to feel that someone cares, this song is for you.
You can always comment, or drop me a line. On my chanel is also a song called in this world, of which has been posted on this site as well, and you can check that one out as well, if you would like.
brl.cents@gmail.com
I didn’t successfully attempt my suicide last night. I had my beers and accidentally got too drunk, threw up, and fell asleep. I have all of the basic materials to complete my task. A bag and rope for restraint, is what its come down too. I’ve tried so many methods in the past that I clearly failed at. I’m so disappointed that I’m even writing this now and not just murdering myself.
I just need the sheer willpower to withstand the agony involved with asphyxiation. I’ll have it soon..