People always look passed me. I never for positive feedback in groups at the psych hospital but the next person did and everyone before me did. Which is why I don’t normally speak out. In society as well, when I’m with friends and have a story to tell no one ever listens. I used to raise my hand in school and never got called on when I wanted to so I stopped and started failing. I got attention but not the good attention. Why? Can someone not look passed this.
Tag:
no one
I feel I just can’t go on anymore. The pain controls everything. I have no friends no family nobody to talk to nobody to open up to. I hoping maybe someone can talk me out of this I don’t want to do it but I see no other option I plan out everyday how I going to do it and where but I don’t want nobody to see it or find me it always ends up with someone finding me I just want to disappear. I’ve already tryed pills but that only landed me in the hospital looking like an idiot not a single person […]
Everyday it seems like an endless struggle. Every morning seems harder. In all honesty, there are days where I close my eyes and think, well I wish this was it. To just fall asleep and never wake up. This is just a rant to let go of what I feel for now and maybe one day I will truly tell my story but for now this is what I feel & I don’t think I should be feeling it. I feel hopeless and worthless. I feel like I have failed in everything. All the people I trusted with my story have left. How am I […]
Anyone played that game yet?
I wish I had a friend like Chloe, or any friend really seeing as I have none. I’m being totally honest when I say that. I wish I had like a cool psycho friend that would like call me up randomly to chat or say they want to go out and do something with me but no one fucking lives in Adelaide Australia and can drive. It’s sucks. Anywho, anyone who wants to be that friend…
elle.dak@hotmail.com
I’ve always had a gut feeling of dying young. I’ve had a reoccurring dream since I was 4 of it.
I’m chronically ill. I’m a sophomore in high school, though I’m home schooled. No one cared when I left. No texts, or are you okays. I’m stuck here alone, sometimes with him. My mom hates me for the bills and because her boyfriend doesn’t like me.
I want to die.. I want to die pretty and happy, in my best dress and my makeup done. I want to die… but the only one I love will hate me for making him go to my funeral..
…. Funny when […]
I feel like I’m too young to have these thoughts. I feel like I’m too lucky to think with this much feeling. To tell you the truth, I really don’t know anymore. I’m fourteen years old, I go to one of the top schools of the US (Oxford Academy of Cypress, CA), and I am having suicidal thoughts. This may seem like a optimal life, but sadly, it isn’t. Every day, every period, I don’t talk to people. Every lunch break, I sit in one of the bathroom stalls (Jesus, I’m pathetic). My parents are always deeply saddened by me, always declaring I’m a nuisance […]
hi.. I’m 17.. I won’t say I hate my life, it’s a good life, it’s honestly a gifted one.. But, for some reason.. I just feel so… I don’t know. I know no one really reads this stuff, who would right? Ha, sometimes I just wish people could see me and not stories or rumours.. Maybe than I could be free. But this isn’t about regular drama, it’s about me.. I’ll give this site a few days maybe months.. Who knows, maybe people will like me? Haha.. I dont really know what to talk about.. I know I’m young and should be thankful for my […]
Today was good. As good as it could have been. I spent the day with someone I’ve missed quite a bit. Things really could not have been any better. But I can’t shake this feeling. I’m so tired. I’m on the verge of collapsing with no one there to catch me. So what’s left? I could pick myself up and keep going… But I don’t know how. I could end it all tonight. I kind of want to. But I’m scared. Is it stupid to be scared? I feel like I’m failing miserably. At everything. I just don’t think there’s anything left for me to […]
So I’ve been seeing this therapist for a year and it’s in the public sector and free. Just recently been told my time is up with her. IM GUTTERED AND DEVASTATED to say the least!!
I shared so much with her my past traumas as a child then adult. That no one knew about. I could tell her anything. She listened she cared. I’m in so much pain that I’m losing her out of my life. Can’t imagine not having her it’s causing me huge suicidal thoughts. She trumps my own family and friends. She means everything to me.
I have huge attachment problems with people and […]
That might seem dramatic. My mind is all sluggish and clogged, probably because it’s 12:30 right now. I don’t anywhere. Maybe I’ll try elsewhere and see if I can be born with the correct body, ya know?
This flesh cage, I can’t live in it. It’s draining to see foreign objects on your chest and nothing between your legs. Why do I have curvy hips. They don’t belong there. They need to go. Maybe I’ll slice those chest tumors off.
There are boys all around with their own sets of problems. I shouldn’t be jealous, but hell, I am jealous. I’m jealous because they’re accepted as boys […]
I have offiicially given up there is no future for me I treat my body like a trash can have no desire to go on no one loves me I don’t love myself so stupid and ugly I never want to see myself agian I am a joke so sick Iv given up I can’t stand no more so miserable I reached my bottom 22 years of unhappiness when’s it going to change never I don’t want it to change I enjoy hurting myself any way possible I am disgusting inside and out there really is nothing good about me I can’t function in every […]
So, I need help. I don’t know why I live anymore. My dad has been abusing me and bullying me since forever. Whenever I get picked up from him on weekends he just abuses me and calls me a failure. And compares me to everyone else as if I am not good. Now my best friend that I thought we shared everything in common with supposably thinks I’m lying because he boyfriend lied to her about something and of course girls choose their boyfriends. And the thing is she told me to change. And now she ended the friendship with me. By growing up I […]
Life is boring , boring life. why movies, games, anime/manga, & fantasy/imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
life is boring , boring life. why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Marvel / Marvels, Avengers, X-Men, Divergent / Insurgent , Star Wars, The […]
It’s funny.
I claim to have no friends, no one that i trust, yet i am constantly on this search to find someone i can trust thoroughly, someone i can share every stupid idea or deepest secret with.
Yet i know that such a thing is unlikely. Why, you may ask (or probably not since pretty much no one is going to read this)? Because though I’m the type of person that likes to be left alone, i also desire to be seen as special, unique, etc. I want to revel in others’ awe of me (does that make sense?).
I want to fall in […]
I crave you like i crave the sun and the moon
the stars and the cars
i crave you like i crave the earth
the grass and the dirt
i crave you like i crave the love
from here and above
i crave you like i crave the fire
to burn with desire
i crave you like i crave no other
a love that will smother
i crave you like i crave the heat
this grave is complete
i crave you like i crave air
its been ripped despair
i crave you like i crave blood
no one should
I’ve never really done this before but, here I go-?
I once had a friend. I called him Smith at times. We’ve been close since we were little. Me and him were inseparable. In late 2010 he found out he had cancer. No one told me until 2013. I pretended to know in front of other friends. He died July 27th 2014. I can’t live with myself. it’s been half a year and I can’t move on. Why? I don’t know. I ask myself this constantly hoping for an answer. Why didn’t I treat him better. Maybe I did? Elias tells me I did. But I […]
There’s smoke in the sky. Lots of it. Thick, black smothering clouds of death.
It wasn’t there before but now I can see it, and it’s descending, covering the house.
I’d tell someone, yell for help but no one would believe me.
It’s going to get in the house, I know it.
It’s going to choke me.
I lost my girlfriend Rebecca because I was an idiot. That is all I have ever been since I pushed her away. I hate myself everyday, I still make her cry and I don’t want to be here anymore. I love her to death but I just keep hurting her. I hate it. I hate myself. I can’t be here anymore and I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to make the world better and leave. I hate myself. I really do. Ever since then, everyone is leaving me, I have no friends, I have no […]
I’m just to tired to go on. I’ve been fighting depression for about 5 years now, and seen tons of shrinks and been on every kind of anti-depressant
there is…and nothing has worked. Hell has be to better than this. It’s hard being alone with these dark thoughts, but even harder to be around
people and have to fake it. I actually get angry now when I hear people say that there is help out there, bullshit! If I could even see a tiny tiny glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel, I might have some hope, but nothing but blackness for five long years […]
you wrote a beautiful story,
Constructed it so perfectly.
You were so well put together,
As if everything came so easily.
Characters so picturesque,
You made a perfect story.
But it was truth and lie,
You wrote a perfect allegory.
You tried running from yourself,
Putting on a different mask to hide.
You put on the mask of a smile,
Behind which you cried.
but with so many choices,
How could I ever find the real you?
You lived the lives you created,
And never left behind a clue.
All alone, you suffered your demons,
All alone, you sat in sorrow.
Never once did you ask for help,
You put up a false bravado.
No one came to your rescue,
Because you never appeared weak.
I would […]