My kind of suicide isn’t suicide at all, as funny as that may sound.
The way I see it is that I don’t have to take my own life, life will take it for me. All I have to do is live. I mean, even if I get stricken with cancer I can be thankful I won’t live to an old age where I’m helpless, just get it over with. That’s worth the pain I think. I’ve seen an old friend die of cancer, in comparison to other ways one can go out, it didn’t seem that bad the way it hit him quick. And […]
Have you ever reached a point of sadness where you just . . . Stop? You stop thinking because there’s just so many bad thoughts. Any thought you do have is incoherent; merely a few words in a jumble that you can’t put in any sensible order. Nothing seems right. The words mean nothing to you anyway. For these three days or so, you shut down. You are clockwork. It’s almost like nothing matters anymore. You can do anything you like, there are no rules; no restrictions. You walk around following your daily pattern, knowing what you need to do but not thinking about any […]
So apparently I should be doing something with my life. Yeah, cause chasing after the wind makes perfect sense. Work a job I don’t wanna work at and make money that I could really care less about. This life is chasing after false hopes and dreams. Why are we even here? I don’t get it. Apparently to live this human experience I suppose. But there’s nothing that the world has to offer me. I don’t care about anything. I’m just accustomed to waking up, eating, taking a shit and repeat. Play some candy crush and drown myself in music, that’s life for me. […]
Hello, all
I feel like my mind is falling apart. I can’t remember anything and I have no sense of self. Nothing matters and nothing makes me happy.
However, I really do want to enjoy my life. I just want to be someone else.
I want to erase my current mind and start over again.
I also think that I might have an undiagnosed mental illness because of my rapidly-shifting moods, negative internal voices, and suicidal obsessions.
I just don’t want to take medication and go even more insane.
Can anyone else relate?
I’m bored with everything. I’ve snowboarded from helicopters, climbed many mountains, traveled and been to many places, and work as a molecular biologist. I should not feel the way I do. This should make me a fun and loving person, but instead I always feel empty and alone. I get a lot of attention from women, but nothing ever comes from it because I hate myself and the sadness pours from me. I can’t live like this. Happiness teases me and runs away. Nobody, not even joy wants to have anything to do with me.
I started taking drugs again to spice things up. 30 hits […]
i don’t even know what to write. i had a kind of crisis within myself today. i do’t really know what happened. i just fell. i felt nothing and then i felt sick and then i just .. i dont know. and the person i reached out to got very angry at me. and now wont answer my calls. and i keep thinking i cant feel worse,and then i do. this is worse than the despair, sadness, worse because it feels empty, void of feeling , even bad feelings. the only thing i feel is fear.
no, i do feel llike crying. i am not even […]
death is the best way out and the only way. I want to die so much, you dont understand because no one does. Ive told people but they think its a joke. I see it in their face, that smile, that smirk. Its just a joke……
But im afraid to kill, to kill myself. I cant do it and i try. I think about the multiple ways and i cry because I can’t do it.
There’s no upside to anything anymore, i don’t have the motivation to keep pretending everything is okay. But I’d rather walk in the middle of a busy street than just face it. Nothing matters in my life anymore. I don’t have friends, family, or loved ones. I should just go into my closet pull out the Judge and get it over with. But I’d hate for my roommates to have to clean up the mess. It’s pathetic when your only reason for living is to not inconvenience others.
I don’t know what’s going on in my life. I feel so emotionally dead. Occassionally I feel small flickers of happiness, but it feels weird and stale…it doesn’t seem real. The only feelings I experience are sadness, disappointment, and anger. But most of the time I’m just existing, dull and monotonous. And what’s messed up is that I know that there’s really nothing going on that should make me feel this way. My parents are still together, I make good grades, I have plenty of friends, I have plenty of talents. It just feels like nothing matters. It’s all going to go away anyways. I’m […]
I am Ammoniacku and i am 21 and live in Eastern Europe.
I suffer from OCD and depression. In fact i have been anxious and depressed my whole life. You wanna know why? I am just bored beyond anything by people, in fact even writing this message bores me to death.
I find most people boring and they are turned off by my sarcasm and humour and in fact i think most humans are phony. In  fact, i declare myself the Holden Caulfield of eastern europe. I hate all social cliques, i am bored beyond my mind by the college i am doing, i have no skills […]
Confused. That’s the feeling which describes me the most. I’m male, 22, and I’m currently engaged in a Master Degree. I had depressions before, I also had suicidal thoughts before, but I never tried it. I don’t fear my death, on the contrary, the idea itself is very pleasant to me, but I simply can’t decide wether I kill myself or not.
I know I’m responsible for all mistakes I’ve made. Problem is that I’m the failure. I feel like I shouldn’t stay alive because I’m a pain for everyone who surrounds me. I do have some friends, my parents are divorced, but fine, and they […]
I’m so tired of being alive. Everything is so pointless. Nothing matters. We’re just a tiny speck on a speck of a planet in a speck of a solar system in one tiny galaxy among trillions and trillions and trillions of galaxies. Nothing makes a difference in the long run.
What happens right now will affect your life, but it won’t make a big difference. Sure, it might a few people, but what does that matter? We’re just numbers on a gravestone. My insignificant life doesn’t matter, but I should at least be happy, so I can enjoy it just a bit while I’m here. Right? […]
there is this constant hollowness in my chest. when i breathe, it fills up with pain. i miss her so much.
i have lost control of every aspect of what i am supposed to be. i want nothing except to hold her again.
i don’t belong here, but she doesn’t want me there either.
i don’t know what to do. i don’t know how to be. nothing matters to me anymore except my thoughts of her…
i unwittingly hurt her. and i have punished myself everyday for that. she knowingly hurts me. and i love her regardless. i know i can’t do this without her anymore.
my only regret is […]
It`s kind of funny, really. I guess the universe really does want me to die. I didn’t really think it could get any worse, but I should have learned by now not to say that.
School was lonely enough with friends, but now even they have been taken. If there ever was something to live for, it would be for my friends.Oh well I suppose it`s for the best. I was ptobably going to off myself anyway, and now they won`t have to feel bad about it.
I guess I really am meant to die. Well, as soon as I have my room cleared out, good byes […]
Right now you’re sitting in your room, all alone and feeling sad. There are a thousand things you know you could do that will cheer you up, but you can’t find the energy to do any of them. And so you just sit there and feel sad. You’d listen to music, but you know that won’t take your mind of things. Because the music you like has words and emotions, right now you can barely speak and can’t help feeling nothing but apathy for the world and everyone in it. Nothing matters and it’s all pretty meaningless. And then you’re suddenly thinking about the meaning […]
I want to die , But im to much of a fucking ***** to do anything. My parents fight a lot , I stick up for my mom when my dad hits her but the next day she just tells me she hates me. They hear me crying but the dont fucking care! I lock my door sometimes and my mom says how shes going to hurt me when i get out. I didnt know you do this to the people you love? I dont know anything. Ive never felt like this , i feel like nothing matters. Nothing.
Who is this quiet girl?
The one with the scars
What makes her so deplorable?
Why is she so marred?
Why don’t you ask her?
“What is your life story?â€
Are you afraid to stir
A pot already overflowing?
Do you know sometimes
That’s all she needs?
A kind caring stranger
To let her feel seen
But you stay away
You never seem to think
About her or the fray
She keeps underneath
Why do you ignore
Her transparent mask?
Can you not see
She wants you to ask?
But you are repulsed
With no obvious cause
Why are you appalled
By someone so small?
Is it this aura of death […]
Hi.. my history is not really about suicide, but i went very close to that, and sometimes i still think about it, but i know i wont succeed.
Sorry for my english, my main lenguague is portuguese, and i’ll try my best here to express my feelings, or whatever this is.
I mean i dont feel nothing about the world, i dont feel nothing, really, i just try to picture myself in every kind of life and i just dont get excited about anything, i look around and i picture big zeros, like nothing matters.
Everything can happen to me, that i wont care.
I get angry all the […]
I just feel so alone now. No one listens to me and they just dismiss my problems. I’ve never felt this hurt before, i’m actually feeling physical pain now. I hate myself and the way i look and everything about me. I wish that i could just help everyone out and just dissappear. i cry every day now and it’s just steadily getting worse. I cryed today at school, i just broke down and couldn’t stop. I try to hold everything inside and the more i hold in the worse i feel. I can’t take this anymore. I feel like everything is closing in on […]
I feel alone…empty….like nothing matters anymore…maybe it doesn’t matter…..I’m tired…tired of life…tired of people…and their acting. Acting like they care….acting like they want to help when in truth the one they really care about is themselves. Im not stupid. I believe in the truth, because lies hurt. Don’t protect me from the truth with lies and lies. I know better. I’m not a play toy. I have feelings. Humans are liers and sinners. They are worthless. I’m worthless. Even I lie from time to time. It’s hard to tell the truth but I wish that someone could even if it hurt more than the lies. […]
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