Not much to say other than I’ve totally lost it. I can do something about this, I could try again but I’ll only hurt people more. Tell no one and just go. Was I getting better? Probably. No it’s all gone to shit. Just want to curl up and shy away from everyone and everything. Nothing constructive from this just sadness.
Tag:
nothing
Today I’m feeling like nothing . Nothing has entertained me today. Or made me
Happy . I came home from class and slept for hours . It’s like nothing even matters anymore.
As eminem would say, i`m having a full blown relapse. I stopped taking anti depressants a while ago. I tried different ones, different doses, took them for years. None of them worked out for me, they all made me feel nothing. I still prefer the pain over just nothing. I now use all kinds of drugs. Sometimes they give me a feeling that is close to being happy. But sometimes they make me feel the pain and hear the voices even more. I tried killing myself a fuew days ago. Had the rope ready, ant in total drunkenness i fell of the chair and woke […]
I’m getting more serious about attempting suicide, everyday is just getting worse and worse. I feel like more people are ignoring me, more people are judging and complaining about stupid things and everything so boring. I feel pointless, I’m not doing anything I’m like nothing so what’s the point is even being here, I’m not a good person and I feel so lonely and crazy and weird.
What’s even the point, I have three more years left of school before I can left this boring stupide place, I can’t wait that long here. If I stay here it’s like being trapped or like a robot and […]
I’ve been in bed all day . I feel absolutely nothing.
Except sadness . I wish I had people that loved me , friends .
Anything to make a light brighten inside me .
I can’t stay home any longer. I think I am going to go downtown and get coffee and see if people are playing music . I love it down there . In the arts district. People just play jazz on the streets. No one pays them any mind except me .
That’s how I feel. No one pays me any mind .
Today is hard . I wish my time was up.
Really? Like really?
How the hell do I do this every day? I’m tired. I want to stop smiling. Nothing in me feels like smiling. Yet, when someone talks to me, I give them the warmest smile that makes it seem as though I’m okay.
How do I do this? I feel like I’ve been programmed to smile or something. Have I become that good at faking being okay and happy that I don’t even know how to shut it off anymore? I’m tired of faking now.
I just cried my eyes out while taking a bath. Then I get out, and I’m smiling like nothing happened. […]
I can’t stand being alive, I fucking hate it. I hate my family, I hate living in this house, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror without the thought of ending my useless self. When I wake up I’m in pain and even if I was able to fall asleep I get zero rest. Nothing gives me any sense of release. Cutting, drinking, smoking all make me feel worse. I’m so fucking alone. My room feels like a prison but its my only safe place. Only reason I haven’t tried offing myself again is because I know my dad would probably kill himself […]
Sometimes I feel dissociated from life. I am consumed yet still apart from sadness or anger or depression, like I’m treading in the middle of the ocean, watching the giant crests and seeing nothing but blue and overwhelming emptiness.
My dad started drinking again after a period of forced sobriety due to drunk hospital visits. I found out by being stopped in the stairs of the apartment building and warned that he was passed out for several hours and had been drinking for several days. He had already been back to the hospital. His liver and pancreas and brain are all fucked up.
It’s like dealing with […]
I’m their good for nothing son of my parents, brother of my sister and boyfriend of my girlfriend. Feeling Miserable. Nobody to listen to my thoughts. Thanks for reading. 🙁
I’m so tired , but sleeping makes me feel worse. Why do I even continue, I have nothing worth living for and even if I did , I’d still wouldn’t be able to do anything. I want to leave this prison I’ve made but I can’t, nor do I have anywhere to go. I feel so cold and hollow and tomorrow I’ll feel the same.
I am so bored …
I can’t stand it .
My friend invited me to come to a gay bar with him tonight with some other people for his birthday but I don’t know if I’m feelin it . I wish I had the excitement to go out.
And I am even more bored because we are in winter break at my school. There’s literally nothing to do . I watched all the lost seasons and now I’m sad and pissed that it’s over.
God dammit .
Plus being this bored makes me feel so shitty about my self .
Ugh
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’ve been considering dying for awhile now like 8 months. Since I got let go by a girl that made it seem like it would work. I’m still hung up on it, i was told I did nothing wrong blah blah. But I never stopped believing or even, I never had let go of it. For months of self sabotage and begging and pleading respectfully. I got nothing but a “I don’t care, it was nothing” to her. Although everything to me. I self sabotaged, cried and sought out everything. Really the ppl of sp is all that ever helped. But I lived with it […]
From everything I’ve known; my job, family, and the only life I’ve ever known. I feel so stuck, no purpose or motivation to do anything anymore, and I’m seriously contemplating leaving the States for Canada even though there’s nothing for me there (job, home, or friends). I’d be a stranger in a strange land, but even that sounds more appealing then what I’m facing right now. I just want to getaway even if I’m running away from my problems; does anyone else ever feel this way?
This is my absolute favorite singer. Every time i hear his voice i want to dance. I can really feel his music. He has a great story too. He was depressed and started with nothing. He recorded his album in his bedroom and got somewhere. I think we can all get somewhere too. The video is kind of weird. God, i would do anything to meet this man.
I don’t understand love.
I just… I just don’t.
I have never fallen in love with anyone. I have never been in a relationship with anyone.
I can’t interact and connect with anyone on that level. I’ve tried reciprocating if someone shows an interest in me. But I can’t. I just end up hurting the other person because I can never meet them halfway. I just feel nothing.
The only love I have is for my family. That’s the only love I know and can show. I think it’s because they are just the only people I can interact with, as minimal as I do that as well. […]
Ugh, I’m f*cking hungry and all I wanna eat is junk food!! There’s like nothing in my apt and I’m too depressed to go out.
Eating isn’t much enjoyable anymore because apparently I’m allergic to everything (soy, dairy, wheat, gluten, rice, seafood). What I can eat tastes like cardboard so while I am f*cking hungry, I don’t really *want* to eat. At least the foods I’m “supposed” to eat. -_-‘
Well I’ve got bananas and sour blueberries, but no real food. I ate my salad but ugh. It’s salad. Just. No. Fun.
I want to eat pizza and chips and sushi and noodles and everything and anything carbs!! […]
I’m worthless to society. There, I’ve said it. There’s absolutely no use for me and there is no way I’m ever going to be of use to anyone anymore.
I’m a 41 year old man, no relation, no proper education, no job, way too insecure to even handle anything remotely relating to success and having nothing of interest to anyone. When I open my mouth nothing of interest to anybody around me comes out of it. I really am of no merit to society.
It hurts a lot to see all the people around me have wonderful complete lives, with working careers, friends, hobbies and relations. Basically the […]
For all of those who don’t have someone to say goodnight/good morning to them,
For all of those who hate themselves but wear the biggest smile out every single day,
For all of those struggling with addiction,
For all of those who don’t have someone to tuck them in at night and and hug them,
For all of those who think that they deserve nothing because they haven’t found their talents yet,
For all of those who think that they need to end their lives,
this is for you.
goodnight/good morning, you deserve it. I’m here for you.
don’t hate yourself, I like you. It’s ok to not smile once in a while. […]