I lye in bed and stare up at the ceiling as the weight of every mistake I’ve ever made comes to rest on my chest. Right now, I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m drowning. I miss people that I should just forget. I forget the people that I should have clung to. My heart breaks as I think about all of the things I’ve let go of simply because I thought I could do better. Now I’m here in the grave that I’ve slowly managed to dig for myself because I traded people off until I had No one. I gave things away until […]
Tag:
nothing
So, to make this simple, i fucking hate myself. I am not (and will never be) content with who i am. Nothing is actually wrong with me, i would just thoroughly enjoy killing myself. I am only posting this to relieve myself of hatred, or at least attempt to. I don’t care for sympathy. I do not want help. Nothing will ever stop these thoughts, no matter what anyone tells you. I have more friends in my head than i do in real life, simply because we share the same interests; death. The absolute ONE reason i am still alive is my boyfriend. I don’t […]
I’m so sad and tired and lonely I’ve tried so many things to reverse my goddamn sadness but nothing sticks. I hope I find something soon
anyone else ever get that mental fog… where you feel so out of it almost, but not in a good way? and you kinda feel like nothing is real, that everything going on is not really happening? -and you’re not all there?… i feel that way right now, and it’s messing me up. i wonder if anyone here can tell me what i suffer from, so i can have a name for it. because it bothers me not to know…
i feel so lowly and depressed. and dammit, i told myself i wouldn’t cry today…
This world has overcome me on a whole new level. This emptiness I feel just won’t leave.. It’s useless I really don’t know why I try. I should just lay here and slowly waste away. People ask if you could sit down for hours or days and think about where your life will be in 5 years or 10 years or maybe even just 2 months from now I’ll never have an answer. I can not see myself anywhere new unless it leads to death.. It’s the only way I feel I’ll find some sort of peace. The only way I’ll ever feel like I’ve […]
I’ve never felt this alone. Day by day I get worse. I don’t no if I should admit myself. Or what. I no I can’t handle being the way I am. I’m not afraid of death it seems quite peaceful. I don’t want my family to find me . last night I took a lot of sleep aid enough to trank a horse.. Unfortunately I woke up this morning , yes. I was angry so angry. So I was determine to find something I wouldn’t wake up from.. And nothing. SSomeone just please give me some advice… Please..
I have no more doubts about my suicide anymore. I know that it’s necessary for me to leave this world to find peace, to end this misery. I’m filling up my time to avoid suspicion or hospitalization at the moment, so I’m just working on becoming fluent in German haha.
Oh, and an update. No matter what I do, it’s not fucking good enough and everyone still hates me. So really, nothing new. I still hate myself. Nothing good enough to live for. I’m always just going to be a failure, a shadow in the dark, good for nothing hopeless freak.
I’m just a sad song with nothing to say, about a life long wait for a hospital stay. And if you think that I’m wrong, this never meant nothing to you.
At all.
night
a never ending night rains down
darkening all things mortal
nothing else can be seen
but farewell whispers
curling into the night
fogging the air
everything will
disappear
misappear
contorted in appearance
with little interference
nothing to turn back to
but a darkness only night can consume
consume your soul
why stop it now?
slip into the trenches
and drown in sorrow
there is nothing left to lose
alone and seen by nobody
she walks silently on the road
with only pain to keep her company.
she gives,
and they take,
as always.
noise comes to assault her
and she trembles,
but she is only here
to be brutalized
no one cares
for her brain.
she grows up to plod along
the sides of roads
every cruel mistake
torturing her mind.
everything set up
to make her blame
and hate
only herself,
the child is not allowed
to be angry
at the man.
she looks for love desperately
but in this world
finds nothing
but more pain.
judgment, rejection
no one can see the pain
behind the rage.
no one.
they leave her
and tell her it is because
she is not good enough
for them.
guilt a-plenty consumes her
but no one sees her
no one at all
and soon […]
I tired of life of my family and I have no one they are never there for me and I’m sick of it I’m always confused and scared to die because of hell… But whats a quick way to die but nothing like stab myself in the gut just quick and easy
Box of terror and fear and double-standards and self-loathing and discrimination and thumping and rejection
According to a certain book of love, you can own slaves, capture hot women and make them your wives (a.k.a rape them and call it marriage), force your wife to swallow dust to ensure fidelity (if she fails, you can kill her), tear open pregnant women’s stomachs if they don’t agree with you, burn to death a sinful man’s property (a.k.a his children)… there’s a few others.
I’m not discriminating against Christianity – there’s nothing wrong with it, nowadays. Many Christians today are pretty kind. But look at that friggin’ source content. […]
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life
by niki
written by niki
I’m a loser , I am a loser in this cruel boring LIMITED real world , reality , real life .. !
I am a 33 years old Asian guy, who used to have so many beautiful hope & dreams ,
and many people have told me that I’m a smart, multi talent , very creative, & wise person
but now the more I see this cursed world, people, humans beings, and this reality, the more I lose hope in humanity , losing hope in human beings, and also lose hope in myself & my future
you see ,.. Reality / real world / real […]
An orange rots from the inside out. The outside may be in pristine condition, but upon cutting it open you may find nothing but mold.
Maybe that’s what’s been happening to my mind. My memory has been getting worse. My desire for life is diminishing even more, if that were possible. I’m starting to care less and less about the risk and consequence of my death. On the outside, however, I am as normal as can be to most people.
Yes, to most people. Other than the person who (sadly) saved me from death during my last attempt, most people involved had put it away, […]
I don’t want to live in this world. You have to fake who you truly are inside to survive here…All we have left is what lives in our mind.
Unfortunately, our society places a high value on holding ourselves together and being strong.
You have to be competitive, better than the others, ready to adapt,… otherwise you’re dead to the world. If you have nothing to offer, you will get nothing… If you don’t fit society’s mold, you’ll drown. They tell us we’re crazy but i think, if someone is crazy here, it’s this hypocritical world.
People don’t seem to see that: some live like […]
I feel so fucking ashamed that for a second foolish time I could believe it was actually worth something to someone!!! I knew from day fucking 1 when you said how you felt that it was a lie, but me being the stupid fucking ***** I am trusted and believed you.. You and all these other people are nothing but lies. That’s all everything ever is!! LIES!! I know I’m worth nothing, I knew I was never worth your time or anyone else’s.. I wish that you’d just admit it. Just once, admit that I am worthless and that I never meant a damn thing […]
This isn’t a “woe is me” post and I apologize in advance if it comes across that way. I dont think my issues or my life is any worse than anyone else here. Im presently numb and seem to be somehow getting more and more so as the days pass. I feel so absolutely and completely overwhelmed that it’s like I cannot handle anything else so I have become numb. I have been severely depressed and suicidal for awhile now, but have tried my best to hold on. There is nothing left to cling to.
My injury seven years ago left me with continual physical pain. […]
It’s been more of 2 years my ex dump me…she don’t want talk to me but I wanna back to her I’m still have feelings for her. The thing is hurt me we were LDR I travel to her 2 times and she didn’t even visited me once in our relationship of 1 year and half. I know for someone close my ex has a new bf and they are LDR also and this guy never visit her even once but she went to see this guy 2 times and she is doing stuff she never did to me but she is doing for this […]
I’m 25 years old in a couple of weeks, and I have absolutely nothing to show for my life. I have no job, no experience, no skills. I’m still a a virgin, have never been kissed properly, never had someone who loves me. I don’t even have anyone who even cares about me all that much. No parents because they died when I was a child, no other family because they emotionally abused me all throughout my life and then disowned me. Only four friends. Two of which don’t even bother to talk to me unless I remind them I still exist. I feel invisible. […]
That about sums me up I suppose. Although how I feel normally is just well below that. Holidays tend to make me feel even more melancholy, Valentines is no exception to that. Just that like many, issues with women tends to be one of my largest problems, so a day specifically shoving relationships in your face is a nice extra special twist of the knife.
I used to think pretty highly of myself. I’m tall, I was in ok shape. No adonis by any stretch of the imagination, but neither was I grossly out of shape. Bit of a tummy, but unless I have my shirt […]