I no longer care if I live or die. Nothing matters much anymore. Not sure if this is good or bad, just really a fact I guess
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nothing
It’s been almost 2 weeks since I stopped cutting, I was not that bad when I stopped that’s why I did, but I don’t think I’ve ever had this huge need to cut like I have right now, it’s getting really tough…I’m not sure I can continue like this, maybe I should continue doing it, nothing seems to care, I don’t even care so…
I am most sure that today in the music scene talent and practice will get you nowhere, nor will it get you noticed by record labels or the fans the labels control.
Music has turned into a fashion show that has nothing to do with music.
I have come to the conclusion that my 16 years of classical training and practicing many different instruments has all been for nothing since I refuse to cover my body in tattoos, play hot topic dress up and crop my hair off at a weird angle. I am most sure if I did those three […]
Anxiety. Depression. Panic Attacks. Two years ago I fell into a deep, deep depression where I could think about nothing but ending it. That’s what I wanted most. I lost ALL of my friends by pushing them away with my constant depression and negativity. Things started getting better, or so I thought. Maybe I was just too busy to notice my anxiety. Maybe it never went away. All I know is when my panic attacks start back up, they are getting more and more intense. Much worse than in the past. At least then I had more self control to try to keep busy and […]
have you ever had that one fear that you couldn’t get rid of and it keeps eating away at u until finally there is nothing left of u, nothing but an empty shell? it sucks. it really does. or when u say ur fine but deep down inside u know ur not. and that soon something is going to put u over the edge. and ur gone. u enter the void.
People know I am in pain but they don’t care to help me. They just pretend nothing is wrong. I feel invisible. Cutting seems the only way to ease the pain. Attempting it has been on my mind for years. My parents don’t give a damn about me. They don’t seem to care. I look out the window as we drove down the road and wondered what if that was me. On the side there they lay. Upon them they have others eating and nipping at them. I wish it was me laying on the side of the road. Wish they could change places with […]
So..How does it feel? Well, depending on the person it can feel all sorts of ways. I know one thing, that no matter the person it feels like shit. Okay, so let’s get started on the whole basis of it.
I don’t really know why I have depression, and sometimes I wish I had some sad backstory so it would be easier to explain. Nothing bad really happened to me, nothing too scarring. It’s just the little things that do it. Every little ounce of stress and anger, it all causes this sort of snowball affect. Slowly building up to knock me down.
It doesn’t physically hurt, […]
My mother is a complete psycho ***** that hates me to the extent of why I wonder I haven’t blown my brains out a lot if times I wonder if I’m even her son or something else to her like property and my dad is a wanna be thug who TRIES to relate to me when he was NEVER there for me and suddenly thinks that he can come back and think I will have no hard feelings towards him my grandparents think I mess everything up maybe it’s true I pretty much have nobody all of my friends I’ve made are on Xbox and […]
To go, what a pleasent idea. I have no sorrow, no pain, no blame…I think of nothing and no one…I don’t have goodbyes to make. I have no negative thoughts, fears…I just think of leaving this place simply because I’m just about done.
If you don’t know by now I’m forced into the life of a loner I cant ever go outside my house without my parents constantly calling my phone every five seconds half the time I wanna put a bullet in my brain and end it all so I don’t have to feel this cruel reminder of what I could have but never will and the other half I wanna kill my mom she has done nothing but hurt me she has let me get severely bullied victimized and traumatized and PAYS someone to give a shit and my father who is a wanna be low down […]
I now it may sound arrogant and selfish and i do apologise in advance, but i just wanted to see whether I am the one and only who feels like that. Basically, I often read the posts here and i come across really sad stories, some people go through really tough times in their life and i do fully empathise with them. Â In my case, I Â cant say that I have major problems in my life meaning, i have a partner, ok job, few friends etc. So nothing really major to report.
However, I constantly feel like ending my life as i do not see any […]
I have been suicidal for at least two years now. I cannot stand to be alive and i have NOTHING to live for. I have no job, i live with my mom (im 33), i have no friends, no partner, no money, my family treat me like an outcast and i have no motivation or excitement in my life. I want to die but cannot for the life of me understand why im still here! Oh, and by the way im not religious. Does anyone else here have the same problem? Ive even chosen my method to exit this world but i dont know whats […]
Life is a fascinating experience, but life can also be very negative, and when you die..you’re in utter peace. You feel nothing, know nothing, you’re just nothing. (unless God exists…) It’s like going back to before you were born.
I feel like most people notice depression signs  but rather adopt the role of the spectator instead of intervening. Why are there so many out there claiming one can and must get through stuff alone? Why is death considered a weak choice? Why do we shame ourselves when there’s nothing shameful about feeling depressed, lonely and suicidal.
As I get fully recovered, I’m trying my best to put myself out there in social environments and whenever this kind of subject gets on the table, people bash and deny help to those who are desperately asking for it.
How many of you had your parents, a friend or […]
HOW FUCKING STUPID AM I?! I MUST BE PRETTY FUCKING STUPID! IM SO STUPID! WELL FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FOR GETTING EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT AGAIN. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. IVE MADE THE DECISION IF IM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE NONE OF THAT SHIT IS HAPPENING. NONE OF IT. HOW FUCKING STUPID AM I. JUST STRUNG ALONG AND DISPOSED OF. I SAID ALL THAT SHIT WAS SO VULNERABLE AND MEANT IT. AND YOU ATE ALL THAT SHIT UP. THEN WHEN THE MOMENT PASSES, ITS FORGET IT. FUCK YOU. I AM WORTH SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN THIS SHIT. MY LOVE MY […]
Why am I so mean? Hm, let’s revisit that topic again, friends; I don’t know. I don’t know why I can be so nice and friendly one second, only to turn around and state things that I hate about you. I don’t know why my natural instincts are to push people away and to be alone.
I’m strong? Well, maybe I am. I don’t get too sensitive about seemingly “hurtful” things anymore. I push through problems and life like I was built to.
Why am I like this? Maybe it’s because I dislike life in general. Not because I’m an “attention-seeking little girl” as I’ve […]
Almost a year, time is passing and I’m stuck here waiting for I-dunno-what to accomplish my plan.
Months , crying, hurting myself, blaming myself, feelin’ sorry for myself, suffering for the choices I’ve made, suffering for the things I’ve done and hating every fuckin’ part of me.
There are things in my life I can’t change, I refuse to deal with that.I’m NOT STRONG ENOUGH, and there’s nothing wrong with that, IT’S OK GIVING UP SOMETIMES!.
It’s ok.
I just gave up, just gave up.
Planned my suicide, everything is settled down, I’ve got what I needed, I’m supposed to kill myself last month, but […]
I didn’t write this nor do I have the author to credit. It was definitely something I’ve pondered. Thoughts?
What would I do.
“What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: “This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and […]
Our lies and Broken promises crossed paths
Tears and screams escaped our eyes
My love was something of nothing
a general mix of  a dream and  a reality
I let the blood drip, and My mouth water
but I did not cry aloud, for I did not need to be heard.
Thoughts, and thoughts, they fell ..but none of them, she caught
Fear surges throughout the air, the paranoia attaching to my past
She’s gone. i’m alone and the rope is tightening around my neck
Black and blue, unconscious and fine
I’ll remember, the times how you were all mine.
beautiful and sweet; wicked and cruel
It […]