hello. i’m a 19 yr. old female, just joined. i have depression, social anxiety, and self-esteem issues. i’ve never actually attempted suicide, but i’ve wanted to die many times, and especially this past year. my life is crud and i don’t really do anything. i dropped out of school early last year because of bullying, and i haven’t finished. i don’t work, i live with my parents who are alcoholics. i don’t have any friends. i’ve never had a boyfriend. i’m obese and ugly. i don’t feel like my life is worth living anymore. the only thing i do remotely well is write poetry. well, […]
Nostalgia: Part 2.5
I remember being 16 and at a party thinking, “My 21st birthday is so far away.” My 21st is just around the corner now. I know I’m not old, but my god what the fuck am I doing..
Nostalgia: Part 1
The other day, a song came across my iPod that I haven’t heard since high school. At first I was like, “Wow, I love this song. It’s been so long since I’ve heard it.” Then it reminded me how much simpler things were for me then. I didn’t have as many responsibilities, my depression wasn’t nearly as bad then as it is today, etc.
But when I hear a song I listened to after a fight with my parents, friends, or after a breakup, I would start feeling that pain again. I would remember how much I was hurting and it was almost like I […]
Hi everyone,
I fantasise about death. I think about what it would be like. I don’t believe that people go to heaven when they die, I know that once you’re dead, that’s it. I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I can’t believe I’m thinking these thoughts. I have an amazing husband and the cutest 6 month old boy. I have no reason to think these thoughts.. Yet I’m obsessed with the idea of dying, I saw a counsellor, a psychologist and a psychiatrist, but I couldn’t open up to […]
I was raped when I was 7 years old, and im so fucking broken it hurts, I don’t feel empathy in the same way others do, I feel emotional pain much more acutely than most people do. To others, suicide is an unspoken tragedy, but for me it is an escape.
not that it matters, i cut my hair after having gone a few months without going skinhead like i usually do (only because my head itches with hair. dandruff shampoo has helped). it doesn’t matter for shit if i can look almost human in an occasional photo, because underneath it all, i was born female and naturally have female parts and so the rules are still in place – […]
In a little while from now
If I’m not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top
Will throw myself off
In an effort to
Make it clear to whoever
Wants to know what it’s like
When you’re shattered
Left standing in the lurch at a church
Were people saying, My God, that’s tough
She stood him up
No point in us remaining
We may as well go home
As I did on my own
Alone again, naturally
To think that only yesterday
I was cheerful, bright and gay
Looking forward to who wouldn’t do
I am a 25 year old with a physical disability. My life is miserable. I suffer with pain in my leg and everyday is such a massive struggle. I have decided it is my time to go.
My boyfriend of 6 years has recently broke up with me, im so stressed
Hello all, this is my first post..and it just so happens that I am a horrible writer. But, here goes. I am 19 years of age. My birthday is a month away. I’m not even excited about it. The one thing that I looked forward to everyday was waking up to see the love of my life. But ever since last year, depression has had a toll on both of us…we have a beautiful 9 month old son. He is my everything. I just can’t imagine my life without his dad. Last year around Christmas, it was he who tried to commit suicide. […]
I think I will start posting everyday that my depression acts up.
Ive been depressed since I was 3 years old on and off. It’s really quite odd though to think of a depressed three year old. Lately I’ve been getting worse though. I thought I had been cured of my depression for a while because I hadn’t felt it there. I think the reason I’m feeling depressed is because I stopped taking my antidepressants for a few days…. I know, not a smart choice.
Im gonna see my therapist at one o’clock today.
I haven’t seriously thought of suicide. I’ve cut myself quite badly though. The wounds […]
I’m a 17 years old girl who has been living with a depression for 4 years now. Everyday, for that period of time, I’ve been having the lingering desire to end it all. I have been subjected to bullying and intimidation for most of my school life which pushed me over the limit so many times. I only found comfort in cutting over and over again. I would, and still do, keep shattered glass somewhere or a blade which I would throw away but somehow always end up having anyways.I still want to live, and look forwards to the having a futur but sometimes it […]
hey guys,
i’m 19 years old female
if anyone wants to talk or listen to me.. i’m here:(
I haven’t been on this site for two and a half years and yet here I am back again. Folks around me say it’s a testament to my strength that I’ve made it this far, but I say it’s a wonderful combination of cowardice and my old friend Jack. I don’t really know what I wanted to say here but I just needed to say something somewhere to someone. A lot of the time it’s the silence that gets to me, albeit I bring that silence upon myself. Nobody to talk to about this stuff, nobody that really honestly wants to hear what I think. […]
Can I just say a small quiet hello to all the lonely people out there.
((Please note this is a rant… Save yourself the time reading it, basically I have no friends and life’s challenges are overwhelming)).
I found this place at the beginning of the year during a real low point of obsessive suicide ideation. I got through it, I’m still here.
I managed to find a freak like me who loves me. He’s the best. He has a lot of friends and the prettiest face I’ve ever seen, the biggest heart and scars, more scars than I could kiss in one night.
I used to read people’s […]
Well, hello everyone..
I haven’t written on a site like this before but tonight I needed to tell someone, anyone before I explode. Just as an over view I’m an 18 year old in the grey as hell country of England on the south coast somewhere..
I have always been treated for one kind of mental health issue or another. My mom had me put through Dragonflies which is a kind of bereavement councillor when I was in year six so around 10 / 11 years old, I think she was hoping I was just sad when my grandad passed. Don’t get me wrong I was but […]
I’m sorry if I am not allowed to ask this. Also sorry if this subject upsets or triggers anyone.
For those of you that cut,
do you do it quickly or slowly.
Is it one single swipe, or do you take your time and pick at it.
Do you always make a new cut or do you revisit old or recent cuts.
Do you feel what you would class as a normal amount of pain given what you are doing.
Do you dress the wounds yourself or do you ever go to the hospital afterwards.
I’d just like to know if I am the same.
I miss all of the old friends I have lost. They left me and I left them. I miss all the good memories I had with each of them. Now I’m stuck at home alone on Halloween with no energy and no friends who want to invite me to hang out with them, I have a feeling this years holidays are going to suck.
If I was brave enough, I would say this all to your face, but I’m a little bit cowardly. Instead, I’ll write this here, where you’ll never read it.
Don’t let your anxieties get you down, okay? You’re far too wonderful to be burdened with this much shit. I know you want to help people, but you need to put yourself first sometimes.
I’ve only known you two months, but you’ve made such a huge impact on my life. You’re such a kind person, one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I love spending time with you every day, and if I don’t see […]
I guess I’ll call the genre a Nihilistic Psychological/Survival Horror game. My goal was to create the darkest, scariest, most depressing and psychologically disturbing game ever conceived. Also the game will monitor your heart rate so when it goes up to much…you die. I got the game story achieved on Microsoft word on but it’s on my PC. I’ll write from memory.
You wake up as a naked female (or male) in a dirty bed and room with your memory erased. There is notes in the first room giving you directions on what to do to escape. There is also pictures of you and your family. […]
When my family tells me to stand up for myself and when I do they tell me that I’m not choosing the right path. I swear these people can’t make up their mind. It’s my life and my choices. I am the one who has to live with them. I’m 18 years old and in college for heaven sakes -_- . I can make my own choices and do what the hell I feel like. Jesus. I’m so ready to get out of this fucking house. They think I won’t leave. Smh. The stress I’m in I’ll pack my shit and leave tonight..
I don’t […]