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others

Dreams

by DesolateScorpio 1/4/2016

written by DesolateScorpio

I have found that a way to help you figure out things is to analyze your dreams. I know some of them are seemingly meaningless, but it seems to help me. Also sharing them with others help as well. Here are a few of my own:

*warning, this first one is a bit gross*

I mashed a bump and instead of puss coming out, I pulled a neuron out of my skin.
My local college was located in a swamp. A former friend and I wore old time dresses (Gothic era) with petticoats. I found a book of nautical poetry and began to read it. The buildings were […]

1/4/2016 13 comments

The 13th House

by Zetsumei 1/2/2016

written by Zetsumei

Hello, everyone. This is a short play about fear and its meaning. The first act is called Reckoning.

The curtain rises and Zetsumei is seen sitting in a chair and is drinking something in a wine glass while reading a newspaper illuminated by a single light. He then takes out a cell phone and calls several people about a new attraction that opened up recently. The light slowly dims as Zetsumei smirks while the wine glass slips from his fingers and breaks on the ground.

The next day Zetsumei is seen staring at a cliched haunted house attraction then says, “Hello, everyone” before turning around. Zetsumei sees […]

1/2/2016 3 comments

on the eve of a new year…

by greyhound 12/30/2015

written by greyhound

So welcoming with everyone with my first post i think i need to describe my problem-in order to pacify myself. Nobody has ideal life, mine wasn’t the worst, the best neither. Quarrels of father antagonised by his family against his wife and children, constant visits to doctors because of my illness, a sort of overprotectiveness of my mother, postponed socialisation with my peers – all this stuff caused that I have always felt alienated from others. This, plus that I have learnt a bit better than others, resulted in episodes of bullying, on which i reacted with aggresion, so tension have grown over time. I […]

12/30/2015 1 comment

Tis the season…

by Romanticide 12/28/2015

written by Romanticide

For all things wonderful, for family, for gift giving and gift receiving. For eating too much and drinking too much. For laughing with others and enjoying ourselves.

Yet why during this time do I year after year research ways or attempt to kill myself. I understand it’s a tough time of year. However I can’t say anything specific happened this time of year. I just can’t keep up with the joyfulness I feel the pressure to be a part of. The rest of the year I can hide away and blend in if I feel like crap, but people seem to notice a lot more this […]

12/28/2015 2 comments

purpose

by breakingthehabit_ 12/27/2015

written by breakingthehabit_

there are times when i feel completely numb and there are times when i feel as if nothing can bring me down. i am caught in a place where i cannot figure out how i truly feel. i am so sick of feeling like i have to block out my emotions because others around me cant understand it. i constantly feel alone, lost and out of control. i just need to know the reasons why i feel the way i do…

12/27/2015 6 comments

Go ahead, touch it.

by Mike Rowedick 12/26/2015

written by Mike Rowedick

Thirty years of my life I am told that those glowing red embers in the fire are hot. Thirty years of my own experiences have told me that the closer I got to those embers, the more I could feel the heat.
“It’s not true”, says my Psychologist. “You can’t let what others say affect your entire life. It was your depression making you feel a heat that wasn’t really there.”
“Now, go ahead, reach into those flames and grab a big handful of […]

12/26/2015 1 comment

by anonymous 12/25/2015

written by anonymous

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

12/25/2015 4 comments

16 Female Norway

by Meany 12/25/2015

written by Meany

So, um, how do I start this? I’m clinically depressed and have been suicidal for a while too. I guess I just want to have someone to talk to. My story doesn’t really matter. We’re all fucked up here and that’s the reason to why we’re here.

Anyways, if anyone wants to talk about, well anything, let me know. Whoever decides to contact me should know that I don’t want ‘help’.

I guess most of us here are alive but feel dead. Some of us are waiting for our physical bodies to catch up with out mental state whilst others are trying to fix themselves. We’re all broken. Some just […]

12/25/2015 6 comments

by theresa_riot 12/24/2015

written by theresa_riot

Why does killing yourself have to be so hard? I mean methods. They’re so much work and I’m so tired anyway. Shouldn’t I have the right to die quickly and painlessly if I want to? Why does anyone else have the right to force me to stay alive? Why is every decision except this one considered sacred and inviolable? I’m allowed to do anything with my life besides end it. Why are DNRs only acceptable for some illnesses and not others?

12/24/2015 11 comments

Beautiful people

by glockamole 12/23/2015

written by glockamole

To all those who have commented on my posts and made me laugh and smile, thank you. I originally posted the material to help others, but it had an effect on me as well. You guys are beautiful people, and even though we don’t know each other, thank you for being here as I’m going through a very rough time in my life right now. I will continue to post as I have fallen in love with this forum. <3

Merry Christmas if you celebrate it, if not then have a nice vacation/break, and I hope your problems whatever they may be won’t trouble you too […]

12/23/2015 8 comments

Protected: Feeling better now.

by daitya1989 12/22/2015

written by daitya1989

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

12/22/2015 1 comment

New Voices

by JiminyCrispies 12/22/2015

written by JiminyCrispies

Before I start this, I know it will be all over the place so it will most likely make no sense. But I want to keep a document of what happens with the new voices and Angels.

The new voices are getting worse. They’re louder, and Jeremy isn’t back. Now there’s only four of them at any given time. There’s one set of four that are awful. I hate them. One is a constant intake of breath that is considerably louder than the others. Another comments on what I’m doing, but in a way which is mockingly. The last two are too quiet to be comprehendible, […]

12/22/2015 0 comment

Up.

by Allitends 12/18/2015

written by Allitends

Just going to sleep. But first need to update, about today, very lonely one. I feel bad, its hard to find the future when you cant even see the present.

Theres no words for this.

Anyways, i check the site everyday, and most of posts that i can, most of them i just read because idk what to say for help, im so sorry. But its a fact that if we cannot help ourself its very unlikly that we can help others and i dont like to sell things that i dont buy myself, if u know what i mean.

But i help talking if anyones want to.

12/18/2015 1 comment

A Never Ending Battle

by indifferentunjust 12/12/2015

written by indifferentunjust

As the days go by, I only feel myself desiring to kill myself more and more. I loathe more, I argue more, I withdraw more. When things go wrong, its the only thought I have. When things go right, I remind myself that it wont last. I hate feeling like no matter what improvements I make, I’m still put down, I’m still living off others, I’m still worthless. When I try, I just find myself exhausted. All that ever brings me relief is to sleep and I think that’s only because its the closest thing I can do to death without actually killing myself. I […]

12/12/2015 1 comment

Conformity.

by insignificant02 12/7/2015

written by insignificant02

Maybe I would be different if I had someone to speak with. Someone that I trusted. Unfortunately for me, fortunately for others, I don’t.

But I guess that’s fine. No one ever cared anyway.

I am such a coward. I wish I would just be brave enough to forget about everything and die. But im a coward and I hate myself even more for it.

12/7/2015 4 comments

There Are Two Sides To Me. And Neither Can Be Happy.

by thehusk 12/3/2015

written by thehusk

I don’t know how to resolve the conflict within myself. I’ve been trying for so long to figure out a compromise between the different elements of my mind. But there isn’t one. And I don’t think I can let go of either of them.

One is entirely superficial. All it wants is instant, unrestricted gratification. It doesn’t care about consequences, or the limitations of reality. It will accept no denial. Giving in to it brings temporary elation, but once satisfied it fades into the background, leaving only nagging discontent. Denying it removes any feelings of satisfaction in anything, leaving only despair.

The other is appalled by the […]

12/3/2015 10 comments

When is it going to end?

by imperfectjenny 11/29/2015

written by imperfectjenny

Apparently I was already a member here, but I don’t remember joining. But I’m glad I re-found this site. I need a non-judgemental place to talk. I’ll try to keep it short. 😛

I’ve been severely depressed and suicidal for over 19 years now. I’ve had some periods of “ok-ness”, but nothing too exciting. Pretty much tried all the meds/med combos/ketamine infusion/ECT/different therapies/hospitalizations/residentials/etc. Had some random, minor attempts. And here I am today, still depressed as hell & just wanting to end it all.

My nephew killed himself almost 2 years ago. It was extremely heartbreaking and I’m still not even close to being over it. If […]

11/29/2015 21 comments

Being

by lugubriousliv 11/29/2015

written by lugubriousliv

I understand that many people have it worse, but I feel hopeless. I’m young, too young for my experiences, but on the cusp of adulthood. I’m supposed to be planning for my future, but all I can plan for is a way to make it through the day.

My mother is bipolar, my father is dead, my sister is severely OCD, my half-sister is a manic-depressive bipolar manic paranoid hallucinogenic schizophrenic alcoholic with severe and violent anger problems. Her two children, as well as all the others listed, live in the same household as me.

Of course with all of these illnesses in bound to have some […]

11/29/2015 3 comments

What The World Makes Us

by JustCallMeSam 11/28/2015

written by JustCallMeSam

I’ve often wonder why people are so afraid of talking about death. About shadows and darkness, and for that matter, suicide. Sometimes I just feel like a ghost passing through this world, watching the people around me go in circles, playing imaginary games. I don’t get it… we’re born, we go to school, get a job, then die. All the meantime, people are always running from their darkness. Because it’s too painful to face… They would rather choose distraction than work with their demons and befriend them. And then of course…when we finally choose to face it, everyone says there’s something wrong with you.

It’s natural […]

11/28/2015 8 comments

Life: the curse of the good

by jcub91 11/28/2015

written by jcub91

Is it just me orr what? I live life as the most friendliest person ever. Not because I think I should, but because I generally believe that being nice is worth so much more than being a rude inconsiderate individual. Being nice honestly hasn’t gotten me anywhere in life. People just seem to generally dislike me. I can’t tell you how many times people have tried to fight me, over just being a cool person to them. I’m not ugly, or shallow or prude. Everyone says I’m really good looking, but looks honesty don’t matter. I feel like if I wasn’t good looking, it might […]

11/28/2015 1 comment

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