Today I wanna talk about suicide. I don’t mean to offend anyone when I say this, but most of you are looking for the easy way out. Now I know you’re thinking ‘You think this is the easy way out?’ When really it is the easy way out. You don’t want to stay and fight through the pain like most of us have. You can’t handle the pain so you want to end it all. The point of this post is to tell you all that are contemplating suicide that you don’t have to end it and you’re not alone. Look at all these people […]
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pain
Ive neen hopelessly suicidal my entire life. I’ll never make anything of myself i tried. Im just waiting for deaths sweet embrace to end my suffering. I hate this shit. I hate tv, back pain, all I do is eat and im emotionally fucked up all the time.
From cutting to smoking weed like I’m fucking Lucky Dube. Yep. At least the pain is better. That’s all I have to say.
I still want to die.
I have a habit of rejecting the good and accepting the bad. I pushed away my girlfriend because I wanted drugs and she’s against them. I lied to her saying I was clean and how I’m never going back to that life, but honestly I am still living that life. All I look forward to is getting high. The other day she told me she still loves me and I was horrible to her. I told her to get over it that I’ll never love her back. I told her I was with my ex again, the girl who I cried about to her saying […]
Some of you make think I’m joking. Some of you may think im insane. But I have a story to tell. And it’s completely the truth. My personal experience. Some of you may curse me to hell. And some of you may just understand my plight. But I’m telling you now that i am not trolling you.
As a little girl, like most children, I had an imaginary friend. I would stay up at night talking to her and we would play games. She was a lot older than me, but that didn’t seem to matter because I was the only one who could see her. […]
What is it like to just live? To just live a life where you don’t feel like everyone is watching you? Where no one gives a shit what you are doing, where you are going, who you are talking to, and how you are doing it? I really can’t remember. I honestly want to live in a cave underground with no windows and no doors and no light so that no one can see me ever. I want to not exist. I want to be alone so that I don’t hurt anyone. I want to never interact with anyone so that I don’t do anything […]
This may be a bit confusing to some of you, but it’s what has the need to be let out of my head. When you’re depressed you need to hold onto whatever you can to live. Make up an excuse and believe it. I can’t say I have felt more pain than someone else because no one can feel what someone feels. I can imagine what others have been through based on my tolerance of pain, but to say I have it worse than someone else does can’t be true. Yes, I know this is horrible, but at least once everyday I imagine killing myself […]
I wish I never born. Everybody left me when I wanted them. Lonely and broken. Help me to get rid of this pain. 🙁
How do you guys deal with the pain ? i feel like it’s just growing inside of me , and i don’t know how to handle this anymore, i’m about to break, tired of living life in automatic pilot, doing things i don’t wanna do, and i just had another disappointment , someone i met and really care about is leaving, i don’t know what to do with that pain , i feel like there’s no way out
I have always fallen in love with everything. When I was a little girl it was great. I was happy all the time. Life was full of magic and beauty and I was lucky enough to get to be part of it all.
But now I am grown up, now I understand things that I didn’t when I was young. I feel like I see everything. I still see all the beauty and wonder and hope, yet I also see the pain and misery and destruction. I see it everywhere. I see lost youth, lost health, lost happiness. I see people and animals who feel trapped, […]
Today I lost a friend.
Not even a few hours ago.
I saw him the other day, smiling.
Today, he shot himself.
Today people cried.
But I didn’t.
My thoughts were, maybe now he can smile, maybe now he isn’t in any more pain.
All I know for a fact is… that today, I lost a friend.
As eminem would say, i`m having a full blown relapse. I stopped taking anti depressants a while ago. I tried different ones, different doses, took them for years. None of them worked out for me, they all made me feel nothing. I still prefer the pain over just nothing. I now use all kinds of drugs. Sometimes they give me a feeling that is close to being happy. But sometimes they make me feel the pain and hear the voices even more. I tried killing myself a fuew days ago. Had the rope ready, ant in total drunkenness i fell of the chair and woke […]
Hi, call me Kninea, and no that’s not my real name. We were told to not use them so this is my username now. Some of you have found this website the same way I did. Through a book, things like smooth passages. I have dealt with my own version of depression. Hasn’t everyone at least once in their life? I, myself, have fleeting moments of depression, but those moments are almost unbearable. I have decided to tell you my opinion on depression. I, honestly, have contemplated suicide, but I wouldn’t want my family to go through the pain I go through. That’s the only […]
Protected: I could kill myself at any time and I should do it now
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
We all have a different pain threshold and I have exceeded mine. I have planned my suicide, I have written a couple of notes and I am just waiting till I am home alone and I will do it. I attempted suicide early in the week and failed. Self preservation is really hard to get over, for me it requires a lot of strength and at the time I was weak, crying, crying and more crying. But now I can feel I can get over it. I am almost looking forward to death. No more suffering or pain. I’m quite excited.
Hello. Nice to meet you. This happens to be my first post here.
This justa lameass rant. It’s probably not worth your time. Okay, so I’ve been going through this website for a while. I made an account but I let it go though because things started looking up. I thought this year would have been great but … Shit happened. I have two amazing friends both have gone through tough spots and understand me.
One of them has gotten depressed recently. He’s about a month older then me but I think of him as a younger brother. He tried to commit suicide. He was asking about […]
If destruction is my punishment, so be it.
I cannot be absolved.
This hierarchy of pain is meant for human consumption.
Freedom is a false concept.
We are slaves to our emotions.
Slaves to our attatchments.
Undeserving.
Bloodletting.
Outcasts among the masses.
If destruction is my punishment, pain is my savior.
Dismal outlook.
Chasing oblivion.
So is
My desolation.
Really? Like really?
How the hell do I do this every day? I’m tired. I want to stop smiling. Nothing in me feels like smiling. Yet, when someone talks to me, I give them the warmest smile that makes it seem as though I’m okay.
How do I do this? I feel like I’ve been programmed to smile or something. Have I become that good at faking being okay and happy that I don’t even know how to shut it off anymore? I’m tired of faking now.
I just cried my eyes out while taking a bath. Then I get out, and I’m smiling like nothing happened. […]
This morning I woke up crying and in physical pain from grief. There’s too much in my mind to write about it all, can’t even form a coherent organization to it all.
But the sick thing is, I woke up wondering if I should take the pills now or go to a thrift store that has 50% sale on saturday. So, basically, I want to buy clothing and then attempt to hurt or kill myself (unlikely, sadly, although maybe if I added vicodin to the mix- klonopin and vicodin are contraindicated) .
I spoke to my ex yesterday. It was good in ways, to know that she misses […]