My family is susceptible to bouts of severe depression, and it’s finally hit me. Every day I go to sleep hoping I won’t wake up. What’s worst is that I know there are people with lives so much worse than mine, and I feel guilty and shallow when I think about that. My life isn’t even that horrible – I have parents who love me, even if they sometimes don’t show it. My brother cares about me, and I care about him. But I haven’t really felt love. Every day, I wake up dreading what lies ahead, be it school or just facing other people, […]
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Parents
Please. Please no. Don’t do this. i know it feels like no one cares & like no one notices or helps or listens or any of that, but trust me they do.
My Uncle, killed himself 2 years ago. He hung himself on the back porch. He lived with my Grandparents. Imagine that. Waking up one beautiful morning, setting out to have your coffee on the deck, and seeing your son, or someone you love to death, dead. He had attempted it before, but was never able to actually do it.
He had a daughter that was 3. He had friends and family that loved […]
I got really annoyed today in school. In my first lesson I got called out by the counsellor, I was confused because I sorted it out all before. ( I told her I would stop cutting and she believed me) So anyway she comes and tells me someone has told her i’ve been cutting again. I was like WTF because I havn’t cut since before.  So we had a massive chat about stuff and then she says if I get called out again she would have to tell parents. And this is supposed to be confidential WTF.
When I eventually got back to class I told my friend that someone had told […]
I guess that those of you reading this have probably heard this a thousand times but i’m going to say it anyway why can’t i be normal? I see people in the streets smiling and getting on with life all happily and yet i’ve been condemned to my own personal hell. I thought that if i blamed people (such as my parents) that i would feel better as i would have someone/something to hate, give my life some sort of purpose. I fooled myself into believing i could be ‘somebody, that i could love life and seize every moment but i can’t. I’ve screwed up […]
so last nite i was up all nite reading a book called impulse… i really liked it and i felt like i could relate to the pain they were feeling… and if you notice it mostly goes back to their relationships with their parents… it got me to thinking about how all of us in this world just want to be loved by someone…. if we dont feel loved we feel like what is there to live for right??? i feel like that all the time… i always think about how people dont love me and i ask myself who would miss me if i […]
My life is so miserable because my parents are separated and my mom and dad doesn’t care about me anymore…. and I am so ugly that my classmates always laugh at my face and nobody wants to befriend with me because im ugly.I dont have friends and i am very poor and everybody hates me because im too shy to befriend with them and they always tease me and embarass me infront of my classmates.When i look at the mirror i always cry because im so ugly that nobody wants to be with me even my parents laugh at may face, im an outcast.I always […]
Okay everyone, it’s my birthday today and I feel like crying. Today’s the day I decided I’d go through with everything and actually commit suicide, but after my last failed attempt, my parents are really keeping an eye on me. Not that they care ofcourse, they just don’t want to go through with all the shame of having to tell everyone their daughter committed suicide. Hah, I’m so tired of everything. I’m tired of pain, I’m tired of not being good enough for my parents, I’m tired of getting bullied, I’m just tired. 15 years is quite a long time. Idk, I’m worthless anyways, everyone […]
A few things happened today, one good, one bad.
Starting with the bad, my dad yelled at me for eating today. He yelled at my sisters and I for eating too much today and said that we have to ask before we eat anything anymore. My dad gets really mad sometimes, and when he does he exaggerates punishments. But what he doesn’t understand is how powerful his words are to me. Last year I stopped eating. Starving became my life, calories and exercise were my gods, I worshiped them like no other. I lost 20 pounds, went from weighing 123 to 103 in much less than […]
Hi,
Since i was the age of 12, i got depressed and i still am today, (23 years now). I tried around 6 suicides attempts but all failed.
And the worse part is, my parents and friends dont even know after 11 years that i am depressed. They dont have a single clue.. Parents always know whats wrong with their children. Dont they care or am i hiding it to well
I am no expert on suicide. I found this site tonight because of an article I read, that caused me to do a google search on exit bags to find out more, as I did not even know they existed.  I am not a person even contemplating suicide.
After reading some stories here on this site, which honestly horrified me. I felt the need to try to post something that may help some people in some way.
I am not against suicide in any way. After watching both my parents die from lung cancer and how horrible it was, I kinda wish they had chosen to do […]
I am fucked. It s not that I realized that just now but maybe at this moment i am completely aware of my state. i am partly proud because i am not trying to kill myself at least not today. it kind of hurts when you can’t change the fact that you don’t have anyone around you except your parents which are currently not here. i know this sounds pathetic but i really wish i have somebody who loves me for me, somebody who would hug me without me asking for it. i am at a really bad state now and i would like to […]
For a week I was able to stay away from thoughts of suicide and I was able to keep myself busy enough to barely notice my sadness. But that all came crashing down yesterday before resulting in this strange mixture of apathy and sadness I feel right now.
I hate feeling nothing.
Feeling nothing is as bad as feeling massively miserable, if not worse due to the guilt that goes with not giving a shit about stuff you know you should give a shit about.
I have important exams this year, it less than a fortnight’s time but I have yet to make myself care enough to study […]
Today i realized just how fast my emotions have been changing lately, one moment i feel hopeless, the other angry, sad and the other I’m just emotionally numb. it’s like my emotions decided to take some roller coster, what so now I don’t just have depression but I’m bipolar too? I definately want to get myself help though. Of course that’s not as easy as it may seem, i don’t have any money and I’m 14 so there’s no way i can get a therapist who could talk to my parents for me without them finding out about it first, talking to anybody in my […]
My cousin is now my girlfriend. I’m going to take her to Conejo Valley Days which is the county fair over here. I can’t wait to spend that time with her.Â
I’ve begun branching out on my stories for my war genre involving my alter ego Rogue Shadow. I would give you a preview, but I have barely started with a mere 10 pages altogether. Let’s hope it’s good. I’m thinking of what website I might post it on. Hope I can get pissed off more often at my dad and continue the beginning of Rogue Shadow with the brutal murder of his parents. (Nate’s parents, […]
hey
well i am 14 and about a year ago i took 20 paracetamols and ended up in hospital , my parents didnt know anything was wrong, you can imagine the suprise. I then a couple of months later went into old habbits and took 16 and the doctors told me that if i took anymore it would be fatal and i would die , i dont know if i want to but recently ive been getting more suicidal thoughts and its messing with me. I just dont know what to do ?!
Today I took about 6 depression quizzes, the last time i took them was a couple of months ago and back then the results were moderate depression, now it’s major depression and those results scare me. I’ve never considered telling anybody about my suicidal thoughts before, but after seeing those results… well now i think i want to get help, I’m just not sure how to do that, it’s not like i can just walk up to my parents and tell them that i think i have depression. What do i do? How do i approach my parents with this subject? Or maybe it’s possible […]
My name is Pete. Everyday I think about that day. I was reminded again today as I watched the news of Junior Seau. I pray for his family and his children. I had a difficult childhood especially high school. Little did I know that once high school is over a whole new life begins. No more harrassment no more bullying. I have read many posts on this site and I decided to write today!!!
On May 20, 2009, I got a phone call from my dad. He informed me that something was not right! It was a weird phone call because my dad nevers calls me. […]
I am a pedophile. There, it’s out in the open for the first time ever. I have sexual feelings towards boys, and it is breaking me down. It started in my childhood, when I experimented with a friend who was the same age, and now I’m stuck with it. I’m in my twenties now, and although I have never abused a child, I do have fantasies and I have visited illegal websites countless times. I don’t feel anything for women, and I’ve never had a girlfriend.
On top of this, I’ve recently been put aside by people whom I considered to be my best friends. They […]
I have seen a counselor twice because of my self harm issues but I stopped going to the counselor because I didn’t ever like going. Looking back on the times that I was there and the discussions we had I realized that I wasn’t entirely honest with her. When I would talk to her I could tell by the way she looked at me that she thought I was dumb. I am one of those people who have parents still together, I have a home, I have dinner on my table, and I’m pretty. You may think with all of that, how can a person […]
Depression slowly crept up on me 2.5 years ago. Â I had a feeling of being unwanted. Â I felt like my friends were ignoring me, and it seemed like no one cared about me. Â The depression kept getting worse and worse everyday. Â I am the type of person that keeps my emotions to myself, so I’d try to put on a happy face whenever I was around people. Â Recently, I noticed that I’m not depressed 100% of the time. Â I looked up why that might be, and my symptoms matched the bipolar disorder symptoms. Â I finally decided I needed help, so I scheduled an appointment with […]