Hi everyone.
This is my first time posting here—I just wanted… needed… a place to just write so if you happen to be reading this please bear with me.
First thing’s first I completely despise myself. For many reasons. And I’m pretty sure I should be anyways, because I am such an ungrateful, unappreciative, weak, utterly selfish, immature, pathetic organism. There are a lot more adjectives but these are the ones that should be put more emphasis on.
(I just want to add in—kindly please before you start lecturing me I want you to know, that I know; I’m lecturing myself about everything already, so […]
Have you ever thought of yourself as pathetic. I have too many times. Here I am, good life, good parents and siblings, good house, good school, and yet, I lack soooo much willpower. Will. I just have no will. Why do people with such screwed up lifestyles and in such screwed up situations be so awesome with great personality, character, and drive and I’m just here… No drive. I’m just so pathetic. I wouldn’t commit suicide due to feeling guilty towards my parents, the people who have looked after me, and all the people trying so hard but in such screwed up situations, but seriously… […]
Tomorrow, my boyfriend leaves for college. I don’t know if I can handle it. I figured out how to beat depression by myself just so I could date him. If it wasn’t for him, I would definitely be dead right now. But, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle him not being here. I don’t want to relapse, it’s been 9 months. I feel pathetic, feeling like I could fall apart over a boy. I feel pathetic, feeling like I could fall apart over a boy who’s only moving 45 minutes away.
Where do I start?
In a way I feel I have no right to be here. I’ve tried talking to others but repeatedly told my problems aren’t as bad as my sisters. Just first born problems I guess, feeling sorry for myself. I can’t fuck-ass around anymore, this is reality. As if I need to be told. Is my parent’s divorce reality enough? How about my sisters cutting, real enough for ya? how about not being able to sleep without feeling guilty about something: being a burden to my dad, an ungrateful daughter to my psychotic mum(emotional blackmailer, physically abusive to my sister and dad, compulsive […]
When my mother died I was eight years old. When this happened my father turned to drugs and proceeded to neglect and somewhat abuse me and my brother (non-sexually). Every since then I have looked for some affection from any man, just to have them be kind to me or even love me. I was later molested by two men I was manipulated and broken.
Everyone says I’m beautiful, but I’m always ridiculed by guys for many reasons. And whenever I proceed to tell a guy I like him, he acts like i’m the most disgusting thing in the world.
But then I finally found […]
basically for over 3 years now i wake up with the same question in my head, what happened?/when did i start to feel this way?/what the hell caused this?! for 3 years now, I still have no clue. Why am i so sad? why am i even depressed? why is it every time I’m hanging out with my family or my friends i feel alone and empty? I’ve literally lost myself. I’m not the same anymore. I don’t find excitement or happiness in the things that i used to, i don’t want to hang out with any one anymore, all I wanna do is be left […]
I have these little tiny circles in my stomach. Or, by stomach, I mean coating my abdomen. Each represents every little failure of my life. These little tiny circles have friends. They breed. Everyday they fuck themselves, they stick to eachother and never let go. Every one is a mistake I made. An extra piece of popcorn. A handful of raspberries. A Girl Scout cookie. Mistake after mistake. Pathetic.
They bubble and grow, filling in my calfs and thighs, padding my hips, grazing the bones beneath my chin. Like acid burning into me, everyday I feel their pain.
My mother hates them. My father hates them. My […]
I’m going to die alone. I’ve known it for quite a while, but it still sucks to admit. It’s not that knowing I’ll never find “the one,” or, more likely, that I’ll push her away, is particularly depressing. If anything, it should be liberating because, no matter what I do, I won’t drag her down with me, which brings me some peace of mind. But it just fucking sucks. I’m twenty one years old and I’m still a virgin. It’s not even that I just can’t find a girl to sleep with me, ’cause that’d be less depressing. One of my coworkers has, on several […]
I’ve meet a lot of people, everyone with a different story to tell. Some are sad, some are happy, some are amazing. Then, is my own story, and I know I’m pathetic with my suicide mind in a world were not only me but everybody have problems, the thing is that I fall too easy. Still, I don’t wanna comfort myself with those cliche words, i just wanna die in this pathetic world were no body will remember me. But more pathetic I am thinking […]
There probably isn’t any meaning in life. Perhaps you can find something interesting while you’re alive. Like how you found that flower. Like how I found you. – Orochimaru
This quote & someone on here once telling me to “be strong, have resolve”…those are the only two things keeping me here. Pathetic, I know.
hi to all
(sorry for the long post and for my bad english)
this is my very first time to post here..idk if this will also be the last
as this site states, i am planning to suicide..
i know it is stupid to suicide(people always say it)
but you know, i think it is the best way to end someone’s existence..to end mine
i don’t have any motivation anyway, i dropped school and isolated myself for the past 3 months already.
at first, i didn’t attended school because the school is shit and i got addicted to games..but then, things came up.
the stress which i left […]
…and you’re just, appalled? Disgusted?
When I take a look at me – when I really look at myself, I don’t like who I am. I think I did at one point, back in high school, when things were easier. I was popular. I was lusted after. I was loved by my peers and teachers. I had them all fooled. I had myself fooled.
You could say I have an addiction. I cannot seem to shake this feeling that I will never, ever be content.
“Whore.”
“Pathetic.”
Why do I keep treating myself like this? Will I always feel this way? I need to forgive myself, accept that […]
I feel like I’ll never emotionally connect with anybody. I have changed quite a bit in high school, since many of my friends moved away after elementary. I’ve become more cynical and depressive since then. People just don’t like a bitter personality. Also, admittedly, I’m lazy, but not couch potato lazy: I rarely watch TV because the news is depressing and reality TV is just a distraction from reality, so I either go on the computer or sleep. Many see this as a flaw and something that should be changed, but I think that this is who I am. I believe that life is pointless […]
All I want is to end it all. To simply not be. My whole life I’ve been given everything you could ever want, but I was never happy. No one understands it’s always the same thing: why? That’s so selfish. You’re life is so perfect, you have no reason to be depressed. Things can seem so different from the outside than they do from the center of the battlefield. My mind is constantly racing I never sleep I never get a break from my thoughts. I have been sad and angry for so many years with little bits of happiness yet every time it’s ripped […]
Ive been trying to stop thinking of her, but everything reminds me of her. I love her too much. On the upside, she doesn’t entirely want to avoid me, she worked out some arrangements so we can communicate even if I don’t have a phone or anything of the sort.
I hate myself for this. Why can’t I just accept the fact that she’ll probably never love me? It’s pointless to continue.
I just sent an e-mail to a site that (supposedly) does contract killing.
Yep.
They’ll hopefully kill me (I haven’t received a response yet) and then they can do whatever the fuck they want with my shit. Sell it, break it, donate it, I don’t give a fuck.
Pathetic, can’t even kill myself. Need to hire it out. Oh well. Hopefully they’ll get back to me and this will end quickly. If they’ll even do it. If this is even a real site and not someone trying to be funny.
This is terribly reckless. And I find myself not caring.
See y’all on the other side, if […]
I feel like everything I do is a mistake. I say things that are awful sometimes… but it’s only because I hate feeling like I have to bottle up my emotions and opinions. I am just going to write exactly what causes me to feel this way and I am not looking for anyone to make me feel justified or anything. I just needed to vent somewhere and writing in my journal wasn’t helping me. I realize that my problems are nowhere near as bad as some of those on here, but I needed to put my feelings out there and feel like someone […]
hello. im back. ive been gone for over two years, i thought my life was going great! i wasa loved and loving, hoped for and hoping, cared about and caring… i am 18 now. im not the same scared little girl i thought i was before. im a confident young woman… or, thats wat the world thinks… thats wat everybody thinks, i mean… thats the point, right? i guess u could say that i am on the right track? i have a good job, i have all the right connections, i have all the correct scores when it comes to the life test. i have […]
It’s been a tough few months for me lately.
Some days i hide it well, others, not so much.
Some days I am sat on my own in my bedroom and I feel so low I have no idea where to go or what to do.
I consider whether my next breath is worth taking dozens of times a day.
Some nights i go to sleep and admit to myself that not waking up; well it wouldn’t be so bad.
Sometimes i will try to talk family or friends but they are always seeming so happy that I don’t want to spoil their day so I […]
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