All that I ever was and still partially am is care. People say I am very caring and sweet. They say that I do things other guys never do. If I am so good then why do I feel so empty? Why do I long to feel that girl on my shoulder? Why do I long to do more?   But yet why do I feel myself losing care for all these questions to be answered? Is it possible that the pain has finally stopped, no it’s still there. The pain is trying to hide,looking for the right time to reappear. It is pretty bad nowadays when […]
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People
Some days it’s easy to hate the reality of your own existence. Some times it’s simple to think there isn’t a point to getting by and getting on with life. Some how it’s simple to die on the inside.
Sometimes…but not always. Sometimes people bring you back from the brink- a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a best friend etc… Until they leave me also.
I used to think that it would take some kind of life altering event to cause someone to spiral down the rabbit hole of depression, that people were born happy or content and then we’re twisted by the world around us.
The more I think […]
iv had a lot of thing happen to me in my life but the one thing that iv learned is that the people and things that are closest to you are the things that can hurt you
the most.
just recently i left my dad (im 16 by the way), my parents are divorced and every since iv felt like an empty shell, not because they are divorced but because they
are such different people.
all i want is to be normal, to get good exam results and go to a good college and get a good job, but i cant, i cant because i […]
People say am over emotional, they say am easy read that am sensitive, of lately thats all i hear from people about me and i guess after years of hiding my sensitivity to obstacles in life ,am getting rusty ever since i opened my self to my bf.
This is not me am a fighter, i refuse to be run by my emotion, right now i have reached my max an am ready to yell an scream at ppl, am feed up have hidin hw i feel to be respectful etc i am fucking going to be me. So fuck pretenders, fuck close minded […]
honestly, i feel so worthless- like no one even cares. i have people that say they care, but do they sincerely mean it? no. i know it’s a huge lie. if i no longer decided to live, i bet no one would care. no one would cry. why? because i’m worthless and ugly. don’t call me beautiful, because that’s something i’ll never be & i’ve lived with that fact. i feel like such a waste of space…why do i even eat? drink? sleep? i don’t deserve to do any of those….
I can’t actually remember how it started. I’m not sure if I can even call it depression. Most of my life I have been surrounded by control. I have been from place to place. My parents had me at 14 so things were crazy growing. I barely ever saw them. Now I live with my father because I have a mother who is going through problems I don’t like to talk about.
I let myself be controlled, and even if i want to, I cant stand up for myself. I’m 17, and in school I just some weird lesbian (I’m not lesbian but people […]
I’m really really starting to loose all enthusiasm in my life. I have no social life anymore, work takes up all my time and I hate it, I feel so miserable there but getting another job is difficult because I have no transport. I have too much spare time and nothing to do with it, I have lost so many of my friends and the ones I have left don’t seem to really wanna hang out with me. I’m just getting frustrated beyond belief, not just life, but myself.
I just need some friends. Some people to hang out with. People to laugh and joke […]
I still have urges of death…..just wanting to end my miserable existence. But I continue on.
I caught chlamydia for the 3rd time….awesome right.
I am in a relationship with a guy who, well don’t give a fuck. Lies so much it’s just not even worth caring about anymore.
My mother still thinks I’m worthless. I’m still jobless. BUT I did leave home and have been staying with my older cousin in a one bedroom apt with about 10 other people.
I’m living the life.
Does anyone here believe depression/suicidal thoughts is something that can be fully controlled by medication and therapy or can even be cured, or is it something people just say yes to, to get pchycologists and psychiatrists off there back?
Within the next few weeks, I am going to commit suicide. I have wanted this for so long but as the day draws closer and closer I am noticing things that are going to be hard to say goodbye to and people who’s lives are going to be changed forever when I am gone.
Mom and Dad,
I have always had a horrible relationship with my parents. They suffer from depression and bipolar as well so they are not exactly the best parents. But I walk by their room and see them sitting peacefully, watching tv or reading, and I feel so horribly guilty because I know […]
I Hate Being Around People. All I Ever Whant To Do Is Be By Myself Because It Seems Easyer That Wayy,I Have THE BIGGEST Insecurity Issue. I Cant Sleep At Night And when I Do I Feel Like I Didnt Even Sleep,I Am So Confused. I Always Feel Sad, I Get Irritated Really Really Quick Sometimes With Out Reason,I Feel Extremly Fat, I Dont Understand Myself,I Get No Point To Anything, And I Dont Know How To Find Myself Because I Dont Even Kno Who I am..
After I became an adult, I realized that the world is full of sufferings
true there’s joy as well, but the sufferings are much more severe
in everyone but children I see a shred of suffering
this site for example, has dozens of posts a day, only a small portion of the actual viewer, and I bet very large number of world populations also feel the same, don’t forget the people without internet connection in Africa or such. But in Africa everything is trying to kill everybody, death by suicide is the last concern
For all this sufferings, I wish God would help us all, I want to be […]
Hi all,
I wasn’t around for a while but i am still not ok at all. My problem is that I can’t enjoy my life. I just started crying without any reason. I know, that it would be good to do something like going swimming, or jogging or something else. But I am feeling so down I can barely start anything. Today there is a really huge city-party, where thousands of people are going. But I keep telling myself, that I won’t go there alone, because everytime I went in the public alone, I started feeling even more lonely. Unfortunately I dont have someone to go […]
i just want to get out! i need to escape….
i’ve never before seen this place as a prison, it used to just be my home.
but the last few months have taken it all out of me. i cant do it.
i just need to leave, loose contact, recover from the mind fucking these people have put me through… but i have got not one place to go.
im so lost in the dark!
If I wasn’t already having a bad day.
Damn those stupid door knocking god thumping freaks.
You know nothing about me so who are you to call me a damn sinner and NO i don’t want you to leave me a bible and NO I don’t want you coming back next week to teach me to love a god that don’t bloody exist
oh how i want to go down 6 feet and be free
ill be away from this world and the hurt its caused me
so its selted, ill force a bullet right into my heart
ill end all the pain from the place it had to start
ill be in bliss and euporia and maybe feel okay
“i was too weak to go on”, ill make sure my note will say
im sorry for the confusion, you raised me right mom
it was me who chose to do this, so please try to stay calm
i know this is hard for you, seeing me in crimson
but one day youll realize that this was […]
I push people away when I’m afraid, because I don’t think they could ever handle my feelings, I’m still trying.
Have you ever had one of those days, when you just hate everything? And even dropping your pen makes you want to break down and cry?
I always feel as if I treat people right, I strive to make sure the people I love are alright, even the ones that hate me. But have you ever had someone that continues to tell you that they dont deserve you? or they just keep rejecting your love? but they still stick around. It confuses me, do you […]
If you don’t know, The Sunset Limited is a movie, about a suicidal man with two very famous actors in it. Its defiantly worth a watch.
Anyways, I feel like Tommy Lee Jones in that movie. Nobody gets me, except for the people on this site! I’m living in a constant state of agony as I have never felt in my life. As some of you know I tried to hang myself yesterday. I landed on with my feet on the floor the first time I tried due to not calculating the rope position properly after the noose was tightened it left too much space. So […]
im living a loners life. i use to have a bunch of friends but after high school we all departed away and also all my area friends have a spat with me…so im just living a lonely life…with fake smile….i do not go out at all and always infront of my pc…i dont respect my elders and also had a spat with my sibling and we are not talking with each other for nearly 8 months on, i forgot to smile and also loose my ability to converse with people all my friends and relatives are going out of my life….i have never talk to […]
Nobody understands why cutting is an addiction. Nobody understands why when I’m angry or sad, my first thought it to bleed, my next is to feed my drug addiction. Nobody understands that I’d be able to quit drugs easier than I would be able to quit cutting. I wrote this last night in hopes of trying to eliminate the confusion. I hope this poem is acknowledged.
Have you ever been hurt?
But I don’t mean for real.
I mean the kind that can’t be seen,
the kind only you can feel.
You keep it to yourself
the feelings you’ve come to accept.
But still, every time […]