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Somehow, I’ve lost my mind. But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell.

by nowhere129223
written by nowhere129223

My mom and I just got in another fight. It’s always about stupid stuff. I just can’t do this anymore. She treats me like such a child and all I want to do is leave but, not enough money..

Between my parents, school, and just feeling awful in general all I want to do is just slice my arms up til I can’t feel anymore. But I work the weekend and I don’t want anyone to see them. I know it’s bad and I know I shouldni’t do it, but cuttings the only thing that helps anymore. For even just a little bit it makes me […]

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guilt

by passionfruit3
written by passionfruit3

I dont know why but all of sudden ive felt a lot of guilt about attempting suicide. This has never happened to me before. But now ive started thinking of my family. Not friends or anyone else but my family. Specifically my mom see her friend is dying of cancer and it seems like killing myself would just weight to heavily on her. But i have pills stored up and ready i just cant kill myself right now it wouldnt be right. But at the same time im tired of living. If i die there will be no more death no more suffering. At the […]

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Hospital

by sparkeyes
written by sparkeyes

Well it looks like I finally crossed the line.  My doctor got photos of my leg.  It’s in pretty bad shape.  They’re sending me to the hospital.  Those of you who know me know I find this to be a huge mistake of a decision.  I hope you guys can talk to me for a bit because i won’t be on for at least a week.  i keep cutting and cutting because I know they are taking it all away from me soon.  i wish i had pills and could just get out of here.  my mom is going to be so mad.  I don’t […]

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Gods sick joke

by alwaysonsomethingluv
written by alwaysonsomethingluv

I remember the day I did it. I laughed and laughed and laughed until my laughter mixed with my tears and sobs. I sat in my bathroom floor while I laughed. No one was home.
I had tried to kill myself. taken pills. I was on pain meds and muscle relaxers (I have a bad back.). I had had an argument with my aunts and parents, I was feeling worthless, I’m always causing problems to them. I can never be that bundle of joy I was when I was younger. My mind is to messed up for that.
But I remember. I took one, then […]

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If you die, just know you could be worst off especially if you don’t believe in anything.

by tigerlily93
written by tigerlily93

There is nothing wrong with being suicidal, but acting on it is.
It is okay to want to die!!
But just know, you prob, feel that way because ou felt unloved or hated by the world, but we have each other.
And, you know what screw the world.
If you think about it some people in the world who arenot suicidal are more messed up than us.
It’s ok
We just have to know our lives aren’t just for us, we love for Jesus and truth and love and all things good, but if you don’t believe that you can die!
And you may not […]

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ahhhhhhhhh

by sparkeyes
written by sparkeyes

I am completely unable to concentrate on my work because I am completely unable to stop thinking about the blade in my purse and the things i want to break and the cuts i want to make and the blood i want to spill and the pills i want to find and take and and and and and i feel like i am going completely insane and i don’t care about anything at all except for hurting myself.  i can’t even concentrate on DBT skills which I promised to practice.  i can’t concentrate on anything.  i just want to hurt myself–with pills with knives with […]

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after all this I still can’t stop

by sparkeyes
written by sparkeyes

I’m cutting right now.

I can’t get myself to stop

Even typing doesn’t stop me, or talking to all of you.

My endocrinologist handed me a four month supply of synthroid.  It has taken all my strength not to down it.

Somehow I’m still here.

The pills were hidden.

All I want to do is find them.

And take them.

I’ll go crazy until I find them….And then nothing

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Rumination

by lostchild445
written by lostchild445

ive been thinking alot lately. We all know where that leads us. But I think I really should be dead. No one cares for me in my life, no one even cares on this website. I should’ve died. How nooses n pills n razors n 30 amps of electricity didn’t kill me I don’t know. But I’m positive this 12gauge will. So to all of you who won’t be missing me, adieu. I’ll see you all in oblivion.

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set the date.

by elegance
written by elegance

Hello, I’ve been gone a while.
but I’m back.

I’ve set a date. I’m going to go April 10th.
Yes, It’s a while away, but I still need to plan. Get everything together, have enough time to say goodbye and such.
I’m going to go by pills.

I’ve decided.
I’m tired of always being in pain, physically or emotionally, I’m very tired of it. And yes, I’ve tried therapy, I’ve tried anti-depressants, I’ve tried to have someone to depend on, but nothing’s working. I believe this is my destiny.
And I’m going to fulfill my destiny.

 

I know this is permanent, I’m aware.
And I feel empty. I feel okay […]

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What could go wrong?…..

by ShutUpMaddie
written by ShutUpMaddie

Why did this have to happen?… the world hates people like me and I dont know how to make people happy now…. my mom is getting re-married my dad wants to kill himself my brother is never home and when he is he never wants to talk to me I even have got to the point I cant go on anymore…… It would be best for everyone too they all hate my soul…..I have been shot.. stabbed..and my own mother said I was just better off dead because the world doesnt need another *****…..why?…..why is thhis going on right now?……. please….help…..me……….

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Untitled..

by Unknown_Schizophrenic
written by Unknown_Schizophrenic

Why is it that ALL I feel is pain?
My days are always getting flooded full of rain.
I say this bathtub is blooded, watchin all this blood drip.
Just ONE more cut across maybe down both wrists.
My wish, is to be in my world.
This is the most I’ve ever bled, my brain is getting fed up with all this bull shit.
Maybe I should get a pistol and find that full clip.
Yeah!, I think that’ll work, but then again I want the pain to hurt. I like slow pain.
Just one more cut, I promise this is IT.
Where’s my pills […]

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by zonic
written by zonic

• I’ve had insomnia for about 7 years now. No pills taken. Sometimes 2 or 3 hours sleep at night (nightmares definitely)
• Mood swings
• Can’t stay in a relationship (one person around all the time makes me anxious and hysterically angry after a while, specially after having sex)
• Anger attacks since I was a teenager
• Used to smoke for about 5 years (I suddenly couldn’t stand its smell, so quit a year ago)
• Been suicidal for a year (no attempts yet but been studying and planning, considering my options) the thoughts become stronger when I’m happier and everything is in its place
• Used to have hallucinations […]

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i don’t want you pissin’ in my ear (wild bill pt.1)

by trouble_every_day
written by trouble_every_day

“some gaddamn time…a man’s due t’ stop arguin’ with hisself. feelin’ he’s twice the gaddamn fool he knows he is….’cos he can’t be somethin’ he tries to be every gaddamn day without once gettin’ to dinner time and not fuckin’ it up….i don’t wanna fight it no more. understan’ me charlie? an’ i don’t want you pissin’ in my ear about it. can you let me go to hell the way i want to?”

—wild bill hickcock, deadwood.

 

that’s the second to last post on my facebook page.  only one person got what i was saying. but it was only after another conversation that it […]

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I just keep hesitating

by Anon141
written by Anon141

So, my mother keeps a bottle of her Ambien hidden in her dresser, and I’m usually home alone for about 4-5 hours on weekdays, 10 hours on Friday nights. I keep planning, saying my goodbyes over and over again, but every time it comes to that time, I freeze up. Not because of myself, but because I’m afraid how it will effect the people I care about. It’s a hard thing to think about, balancing a pill between your lips and debating what impact you’ve made on the people around you, no matter how small. Then of course, there’s the fear I’ll find myself  awake, and […]

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The Darkest Alley of my Mind.

by rachelrascal
written by rachelrascal

It was a bread knife.

Long, cold, and serrated.

Just what I needed.

I still remember the first time I pulled that knife across my arm; I had been so, so stupid, doing it where everyone could see. It was so obvious, the four gashes on my forearm. It had been near impossible to hide them. My mom noticed the long sleeved hoodies, but I think she was too afraid to ask. It just escalated from there. I moved from bread knives, to scissors, to my shaving razor, to the box cutter my mom left lying around one day. It’s still tucked away in my box of special things.

I […]

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Lost In my thoughts

by Unknown_Schizophrenic
written by Unknown_Schizophrenic

Every now and then I catch myself getting lost in my thoughts.  I know Im not the only one, but at times I feel that I do it more than some. My paranoia will kick in, I start getting lost in the thoughts, and ideas that it brings. I catch myself thinking that this and that are true, but deep down I KNOW that they are NOT true. This has gotten worse within the past couple of years. I know that the thoughts I have are not true, but I often think what if that is, what if that will happen? When this first occured […]

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Suicidal Thoughts: How Serious Is Our Condition?

by Kuzgun
written by Kuzgun

Many of us have been told, “Your problems aren’t that bad. They don’t add up to suicide,” or, “If you only took 15 pills, you weren’t really serious.”

We have a condition that causes others to feel uncomfortable. They reduce their discomfort by using denial, belittlement and minimization on the seriousness of our situation. While most of this denial is due to their fear concerning the possibility of our death, a part of it has another source. They may also have had or be afraid of having bad periods in their own lives, and their denial on our vulnerability to […]

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