I feel so lost inside myself. Everything hurts. My emotions hurt. They’re so intense to the point where it’s hurting me to feel anything. I can’t breathe. I hate it. I’m not in control of myself properly anymore. I have to listen to the voices now. I haven’t been to college all week because they said it’s not safe. I left the house for the first time in days today because it hasn’t been safe. I’m so afraid of everything all of the time. And I hate it. I hate living like this. I hate myself. I can’t cope with it all anymore. I don’t […]
Tag:
point
When dose the pain end drowning in thoughts going to sleep praying by some miracle you don’t wake up and waking up trying to find a good enough reason to live but you can find anyone iv just had enough what’s the point why am I fighting so much to live if I’m just live to die so unhappy what do u do when your life is a mess and all u think about is death how can u live this way
Hello…
It seems I find myself at yet again another rock bottom. You know just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse it actually does, and it just keeps getting worse and worse.
I just dropped out of college because lets just say depression kind of took over. It seems my childhood events have finally caught up to me. From my step-dad who I thought was my real dad leaving me and my mom on his birthday when I was 7 to my older brother being sentenced to 15 years in prison for committing murder, things just have never been easy for me. I just lost […]
Despite already having a post typed out for today, I’ve decided to change it and write this instead. Because I just realised several minutes ago just how little my mum cares.
I’ve been an emotional mess all day for no apparent reason, so I refused to step foot outside my room until 3 in the afternoon. Before that, no one bothered to come into my room to check on me. But we’re ignoring all that as I’m fast forwarding to not too long ago.
Recently, there has been a girl coming in my room at night. Her name is Bree, and she’s around my age. Every night […]
So this weekend some friends invited me to go hang out and go to the club with them, but it just ended up making everyone pissed off at me. We were hanging out at my friend’s apartment and drinking getting ready to go out and waiting for another friend to get off work which that was all fine. We stopped at a pizza place to eat and by this point I was already really drunk. One of my friends invited this girl I really didn’t like, then she invited more people I didn’t like, because they’re just generally rude people. We were getting ready to […]
Another day without her.
Another day with the painful memories of the past.
Another day I need to move my stuff out. 7 days left here at this place that saw everything fall apart.
Another day still don’t know where going to next.
3 cigarettes and memories of how things once were, where things were going, between sips of black coffee, trying to wrap my head around how things came to this. How I became this person, unrecognizable from photos taken only 10 months before.
The fear it’ll never get better, and only possibly worse.
Homeless at 34, abandoned hope for a brighter future, the […]
I’ve become so depressed that I started cutting my wrist, not long ago. I wear long sleeves and sweat shirts to hide the scars. But the other day it was warm out so i wore a short sleeve shirt and brought a jacket to hide the scars if I needed to. It turns out that I didn’t need the jacket because everyone who must have seen my cuts didn’t give a fuck about it. They would look at my wrist then at my face and turn around and act like nothing happened. Um… hello you know that what you just saw isn’t something you always […]
What’s the point of living, what makes us feel alive? I’m thinking/planning my escape route i’m sick of living. I don’t want to be alive anymore theres no point especially when your parent threatens to kill you themselves because you weren’t able to do the job yourself. 🙁 as i’m typing this i’m in the supermarket and chasing cars by snow patrol is playing.
-Suicide
just a thought it’s not actually that easy to commit suicide or it takes a hell of a lot of courage sure it dose take a bit of courage to try overdose
but other methods takes a lot more courage and have to be planned out properly or you will wind up in a worst state then you already are
so what are the opinions here ?
Living a depressed and miserable life ?
plan and trying harder next time ?
Hoping things will get better ?
Go to a country were you can use the method you choose ?
At this point i think I’m more scared of living then dying […]
I have never claimed I have OCD. That’s because I know how severe it gets for people. But some things I do are based off fear so bad that they prevent me from doing anything or making decisions–
On Friday I was sent to the E.R. for suicidal thoughts that were persistent. The night before I spent hours trying to find and decide what socks I should wear. I spent an hour (not exaggerating) telling myself that I shouldn’t wear the only pair of socks I found– grey socks.
I just felt it was wrong and would cause problems. I was so anxious during the night about […]
After yesterday, being directly rushed to the E.R. by ambulance for suicidal thoughts, knowing how my family treated me (please read “No Emergency”) when they said I was over exaggerating, when my mom complained saying she could’ve bought shoes instead of paying for parking at the hospital, when my father complained about missing work, where my sister told me I was making things up,
Fuck I don’t even remember the point to this post.
Urgh I’m wasting everyones time.
But I feel I have to let this out.
I have no one.
I’m not to sure what I feel but the longer I go on I think I’m less likely to act on my suicidal thoughts again I attempted twice but wasn’t really planned like don’t get me wrong I think about it most of the day and the last few days have been rather smooth in reality but things keep going smooth il see how things go not to say WHEN and that when will happen at some point thing will get bad again or something will happen that will get me thinking to act again but I hope I get the strength and courage to […]
My stepdad is an asshole. I saw my therapist today, and she said to try different things to distract myself from the voices and such because they’ve been bad lately, so I thought I’d attempt to watch TV for an hour or so with my mum and stepdad. It is something I regret even thinking of, and it has made everything so much more worse.
Despite sitting basically mute, with the one off offer of a cup of tea, my stepdad yelled at me within 45 minutes. My dogs had just been outside for the sixth time in the space of 15 minutes, and I was […]
Why measure life on the amount of years? It’s really what you do in those years that matters.
I mean. . .
What’s the point in living a hundred years if you didn’t do anything that actually made you feel alive?
So I managed to make it though yesterday but the battle dosnt stop there ok I managed to get out the house today for a short time
but doesn’t change my thoughts on the world
what is the point in struggling with depression and emotional pain everyday ? People say things get better when is that ? What’s the point in life if you don’t have no goals no idea where your going or what will happen next
people say lifes a journey and you should enjoy it well I’m not fucking enjoying this bull shit having more down then ups feel like I’m crawling though life and […]
I’ve been on this site for 4-5 years. When i was more active in the community, these are the people who meant the most to me. Please let me know if you reconize or know any of these members. It would make my day.
No one remember Klaurens I’m sure. But exhausted24 was the coolest person ever. I still have the emails from kallie’s family after she died. Dawg and AtTheEnd, and Duke were everywhere. Every single post, they would comment on. There’s this annie girl that showed me this site. She’s always meant the world to me. I know pasceltrees is never going to see this, […]
Why is it that everything I do comes out wrong? I never get anything perfect, everything is a mistake, a failure. Well it makes sense because I’m a failure too. What’s the point of me living if I just ruin everything? The only time I try to help others, no one ever appreciates it. Fuck it! I wanna die!
I’ve had a long life full of pain. It wears you down. I’ve tried for so long, only to fail over and over. I just don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this. I don’t see the point anymore.
Ever just think really hard about suicide? Just to the point where you know exactly how you will do it down to ever little detail and imagine how it will play out afterwards. How everyone will react, how your funeral will go? Because I do.
In all honesty, I don’t think I’m getting any better. Maybe for a day, or for just a couple of hours I actually feel something other than this depression consuming my soul. I feel content. I notice more things, like the way my boyfriends lips curve into this smirk of a smile, or the way the wind blows at night, and all the living creatures are sleeping, but you can feel the vibrations of the earth. These are the moments when I think that living might not be such a bad thing. But it never lasts. My worst enemy is myself, my own insecurities, my […]