I swear, I have lead bones. they weigh me down. I promise you, I have water in my lungs. I drown all the time. I don’t know why I feel this way. I’ve never known why and that is the worst part. I live in a happy family and i’m the dark cloud. i’m the rain on their parade. I guess you could say I have a great life and looking at it from another point of view, I can see how that would be true. but I feel like I am dead on the inside. and I wish I was on the outside. I’m […]
Tag:
Promise
Today.
21 january.
One year.
One year of self-harm.
One year of cuts.
21 january.
21 january 2012.
The day.
The day I started cutting.
Cutting on my hands.
Cutting on my feet.
Cutting on my hips.
Cutting on my belly.
Cutting on my lower arms.
Cutting on my wrists.
Cutting on my chest.
I can remember that day as yesterday. Saturday 21 january 2012. I grabbed a scissors and started to scrape and scrape on my hand until there was a little scar with a very little bit of blood. I did it, couldn’t go back. Well, it doesn’t matter, right? It was just […]
so me and my psykolygist made a promise that between our talks there was no cutting and i felt like it was a big promise so i didn’t cut in a few months but yesterday i culdn’t keep it any more i did cut one slit on my hip and it felt so good i have been missing that feeling for so long and i felt a releif after that one slit and now i’m so afraid that i keep cutting i do not wanna go back to that habbit
but on the otherside it felt so good that i just wanna keep going i just […]
The biggest piece of bullshit I have ever heard, is when someone tries to comfort me. I know that sounds weird, but maybe oddly true. Only one person on the world has ever been able to make me feel not alone, but she doesn’t know I am in love with her. But that is besides the point. Everyone else, when they comfort me, seems to have ulterior motives. Maybe they feel obligated. Maybe they are trying to stroke their own ego. Maybe …….
The point being is that They have their own ulterior motive, They don’t really care about me, or you. Though why should They? […]
I think the scariest part of all this is when you desperately want someone to reach out to and no one is around. You want a friend, but you don’t want those people you call friends to know. And you don’t have the money to get professional help. And you don’t want your family to start blaming themselves. And you sure as fuck don’t want people to start asking what you’ve done to try NOT being depressed.
I’m not even sure if I am depressed. I mean, I have depression, but I spend these days being mostly angry and frustrated. But now, I’m just sad, because […]
Hello. I’m 15 going on 16 and I have been cutting for about a year. All my friends know and they didnt help besides making me promise to stop, but they didnt know that all their drama and treating me like crap was the reason. I broke every promise and i stopped over the summer and then started right back up when school started again. I have been able to hide it from my family, but my boyfriend does it too and every one of my friends did it in the past. I dont know how to stay away from all the drama at school […]
So like an hour ago, I got a visit from 2 of my best friends here in Oxford.
One of them is a girl. Another is a boy, which if you read my last post, my crush.
I told them, I was drunk while I was in the State, I know I promise them not to get drunk again after that night in Oxford. They were pretty mad, which of course, they have absolutely right to, I deserve that.
They began to preaching me about being depress, choice to get drunk blah blah blah
And then they asked, why I have to be depress? when has this begin?
You know […]
Hi there.I’m a girl with an ambition to be a listening ear for any one who needs it.I promise to check my email every single day.It’ll be no problem helping.My email is shanecia.anthony@gmail.com
Okay I have had depression and suicidal thoughts since I was in my mid-teenage yrs. I’ve always blocked it out of my mind and hid it and was in complete denial. I actually started admitting to it about a yr and a half ago, but I’ve started dealing with it in the last month especially in the last week. I was always told by churches that you’ve got power of these things that all you have to do is pray and God will take care of them. Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world. I believe in God […]
Life loses it’s worth to live, sometimes.
There are days where you wake up and the first thing that comes to mind is “Shit, God woke me up again!”
It’ll get better, they say.
It’ll get easier they claim.
Who the heck are they kidding?
They don’t understand.
They have yet to feel what it’s like to be in my shoes.
What’s the point of reaching out?
All they’re gonna do is judge me.
They’re gonna pretend to care,
And then they’ll leave just like the rest.
Does any of this seem familiar to you?
You know it’s true. You think it too.
I can’t promise you that […]
hi, i’m katie.c: i’m 14. and i’ve been through a lot..
well where to start..my mom is an alcoholic and drug addict, but she is one of the sweetest ladies alive. i love her to death. my dad..he couldn’t be more mean. he gets really mad and it scares me. last night, it was a minor thing, and he punched to perfect holes in the wall. in january, my mom got so drunk. me and my 10 year old brother were the only ones home at the time and we had to call my dad and he came home. he called 911, my mom had to […]
I’m not suicidal, even though I have been in the past, but I want every one reading this to know they matter and that there are people around you who care and love you.
I lost one of my best friends just a week ago to suicide. He was depressed and under extreme pressure in his academic and social life. He didn’t believe that the girl he had been in love with for four years had any interest in him and that he was too dependent on her. She didn’t tell him while he was alive, but she loves him and thought that he deserved more […]
Little angel, don’t you see how beautiful you are?
It’s time to stand up and wipe the tears from your eyes.
You are fighting this hopelessness and the end  seems so far.
For every second that passes, it feels like a part of you dies.
And they make you feel as if your feelings are not up to par.
But it is time to be strong cus I’m right beside you, fighting the lies
You’ve been fighting for so long,
Little Angel
Can’t you feel that you are strong,
Little Angel
Because it is in you that I see hope,
Little Angel
It was you who […]
today may 18 11:55 am and I’m in bed. I know I should be in school but I just had to think and I don’t have the strength to go and tell him my story. It’s just like a dream my dream came true. He asked me out and I said yes, but now I have to deal with telling him about my problems and that won’t be easy. I learn that he does it to, that he cuts himself as well as I do. And I told him that I cut and that he shouldnt cut. I made him promise me that he wouldn’t […]
I don’t like the person I am anymore. I’m okay on some levels, but in close relationships I become a cold *****. I don’t know how to fix it, therapy hasn’t helped much with the issue. I’m stressed in general, but I guess I just get unhappy.
My boyfriend and I just broke up for the millionth time, what a huge surprise. I’d like to say that this was more his fault than mine but it’s probably pretty even. I’m a really difficult person to be in a relationship with. I’m not sure what to do about it. Truth be told, I feel weary all of […]
Please everyone who thought about suicide read! I love you all, this is coming from The God in me, or my good spirit.
by tigerlily93
written by tigerlily93
Dear Everyone who feels like committing suicide,
I feel like I have an answer. I can’t guarentee it will work. But you have to try it first ok. Just promise, you’ll try.
Hi everyone,my advice is try to learn God for yourself. In order to know God you first have to know Jesus. Only through Jesus can you be healed. Trust me. It might sound crazy but it’s true.
Trust me, i know. I’m not that religious and allmy life i have been the loner, awkward black girl that no one ever really noticed. almost every guy i ever wanted to love rejected me and […]
a year ago from today i was actually immensely happy. work was going well for me, had a great girl in my life who i had the best bond in the world with.
months later, all of that would be gone. the girl still comes and goes but she’s made it clear she’s moved on and that i need to accept it or go away.
i just want to find somebody to bond with. just one and i promise to god i won’t ask for anything ever again. i always hear “things get better”.. ok when? i’m already in my mid 30s.. still waiting for […]
Im so hurt at the moment… I lost my virginity to a 24 year old guy I’ve only known a month. Im 18, I made a promise to myself I would wait til marriage to have sex. It was important to me, it meant something. I’ve been this good girl my whole life, I rarely date. I would never do something like that, but I did…. I would barely let a boyfriend kiss me. I guess for the past year I’ve been in a spiral downfall and depression. My mom all my brothers moved, and I was left in this town. I’m still in high […]
So my brother threatened me again today. He bullies me all day and today he threatened that he will hit me.
I know this is not as bad as other peoples issues but this is my life and i can’t stand much more of his abuse.
My mum pretends that nothing is going on. I have already started cutting again within 24hours of seeing him. I promised i would stop. But i just can’t keep that promise when he is around.
And you know what the sad thing is….. tonights spat was set off by the slightest thing. The internet.
I hope he does hit me, just so i […]
I don’t know what it is I apologize for.
“I’m sorry, Peter.”
I apologize for everything; every action I take, every move my friends make, every problem that comes up.
“I’m sorry, Cordell.”
Someone loses something, “I’m sorry.” Someone questions my meaning, “I’m sorry, I’ll stop talking.” Someone finds what I said not as serious as I intended it, “I’m sorry, I’m just being stupid.”
“I’m sorry, Joey.”
What is it I’m trying to apologize for?
“I’m sorry for being such a burden.”
“I’m sorry for being so difficult.”
“I’m sorry I’m not the friend I should be.”
It’s worse when I apologize to my mom, unprovoked.
“Sorry? What for?”
I suppose I’m sorry for […]