I have missed three psychiatry appointments because I don’t want someone to tell me I’m depressed nor do I want to believe in the existence of depression. (Which is a damn contradiction cause I’m a psych major and I know it does). I don’t want pills. I don’t want to talk about how I feel. The furthest I ever got to getting help was to the door of my psychiatrist’s office. I freaked out and left. I’m doing a half-ass job in everything. My GPA went down wayyy low. Money, my biggest motivator doesn’t even wake me up in the morning for work anymore. Guess […]
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Psychiatrist
In early 2009 I started dealing with severe recurrent depression, even though I was undiagnosed at the time. Â I’m sure many of you know what that feels like. Â I felt like my life had no point, none of my classes were interesting, I didn’t want to hang out with my friends, and I just hated everything and everyone, especially myself. Â All of these emotions just kept building up until I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Â In September of that year I tried to overdose on sleeping pills. Â I calculated what the lethal dose for someone my size would be, and took that plus a few […]
While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.
I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.
Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.
I […]
I was about 11 when I realized nobody cared I mean family is suppose to care. I never had a stable family drugs or liquor ruined my family yet there sober now and they are so caught up in the mess they made that I’m invisible to them. I am no longer sober from liquor today just was so bad I had to drink my psychiatrist  thinks I’m crazy because of the scars on my arm I had to show him.. I broke down and cried in front of people I never cry in front of people. It’s just it’s hopeless. I don’t feel like trying anymore. The whole world can […]
I’m new here, but I’ve been following this site for a few months now. I tried committing suicide almost a year ago. I was hospitalized for about 3 days before going into a psychiatric hospital for a week. It scared the hell out of me. I promised myself I never wanted to end up there again. The only people that know about this are my parents and my sister I was too ashamed to tell my best friend or any other family members. I did actually tell one friend from online but she completely laughed at me. Told me I was such a wuss  trying to commit […]
My parents saw my cus and flipped of course. then say i need to go to a psychiatrist again and this guy seems to not understand or give a crap…..i just want to know what to do, how to feel at least ok. I want help. I want to be ok. But nothing works i tried it all and nothing. I can be doing a million things and i still can’t stop thinking about everything thats wrong.
I cant stop thinking about dying….i just want to die. i want just stop breathing.
All i think about is the next time i can cut myself, when my relatives leave […]
to be honest i’m not really sure what i’m doing on this site but i’m ust gonna go with it. I’m not trying to sway anyone into my thinking or anything this is just my own experiences and opinions. So I’ve read a few posts and stuff and it’s kind of strange but i feel like i can relate. People are saying stuff like “oh you won’t do it” and stuff like that but ppl will, they always do and that’s what’s wrong with this site. you shouldn’t test ppl. I’m just hoping to get some advice on how to kill this shit before myself. […]
My life just took an 180º turn.. for worst.
So I had my appointment with the psychologist today. Needless to say that two minutes in and he was already giving me paper tissues. I was crying my heart out. I told him pretty much everything. Concentration problems, trouble sleeping, depression, lack of memories, suicidal thoughts (I explained I wouldn’t do it because of my mom tho). And according to him, I should had seeked help a long time ago, as now I am so deep into depression.
Result from appointment: Tomorrow I have another appointment with the psychiatrist so I can start right away taking antidepressives and […]
Im approaching fifty, will be next year. Im a straight male, never married and no kids. I always wanted to be, and always thought i would be a great dad. I spent five years in the US Air Force and sadly got out. To this day, im regretful, it was my purpose in life to retire as a military man but i didnt, i live with this everyday of my life. As well as the fact never marrying or having kids, knowing that i will die and not leave my mark in this world. I have no friends, and havent had a girlfriend in a […]
I just want to say, first off, that I have been following this forum for awhile. You see, I have been trying to help a dear friend. Her depression and suicidal thoughts have been going on since she was a teen. Reading the comments here has really helped me understand what she’s going through.
It has been really rough lately for her. I’m trying to do my best for her. I haven’t been perfect (far from it). I’ve made tons of mistakes. Mostly, flying by the seat of my pants and guessing at what’s coming next.
Her meds were changed recently by her psychiatrist. She’s going to […]
After putting a gun to my head yesterday I decided to go see my psychiatrist today. Â I called the ombudsman in my area about his lack of ethical behavior earlier this year. Â After 4 months, the case was assigned a ‘resolved’ status without my knowledge. Â I MADE THE FUCKING COMPLAINT!!! Â How can it be resolved without me even being notified? Â The agency has lied to the ombudsman from day one and she told me that they told her the situation had been resolved. Â I asked her what the resolution was cause I sure wasn’t included in that decision. Â The agency told the ombuds that they […]
Today I had a conversation with my psychiatrist and my parents about medication. Because only therapy doesn’t work for me, they decided to start with medication despite of the side effects it could have for me. But taking that decision is much easier than searching for the right medication. An antidepressant would take too much risk, because my father is bipolar and they were afraid that I would get stucked in the vicious circle of bipolar. Also other side effects influenced the fact that an antidepressant wasn’t a good option for now. So my psychiatrist went looking for sleep medication. She could only give me […]
I do not know really how long I have been coming here to this website. The archive only goes back to Tuesday Feb 1st, 2011.. I have read a good lot here, I have read a lot of peoples stories. Some are very interesting, some are rather not. I may have posted things here, not quite clear. I don’t think so.
I am a 38 year old man. I turn 39 this May. I doubt I will make it to 40 regardless. I first started in therapy when I was 20 or so, I was still in the Navy then, it was a Navy psychiatrist. I […]
I woke up very anxious and stressed this morning. It’s midnight here now. And I’m thinking of suicide again. And murder. My parents’ arguing woke me up. It always bothers me when they fight. Why? Because I have a crazy mother. Yes, crazy. Clinically diagnosed with bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness. I have seen her at a low level to the highest peak of her craziness. And when she gets nuts, really nuts, I shake like hell. I hate how much I am unable to control it. I always tell myself to toughen up but my body and mind defies me. I put […]
Completely lost my identity to bipolar three years ago when my family pushed me into hospitalization and disability. had a shitty psychiatrist who overmedicated me to the point of not being able to function. so medicated that I couldn’t hold a job, lost three in one year. My career is over, as one of the jobs was in my career field and I was fired. I’ve tried 17 different medications. now i tried ECT and it has obliterated my short term memory and ability to feel anything. I have no desire to do anything at all. My mind […]
Hi all, just registered, found the site through some google work. Have been hospitalised for 7 months in February with a nervous breakdown/depression (not certain which, they never told me) after being on Xanax for years. Been back to work in October and had to go see a new psychiatrist for follow-up who subscribed me on Fluoxetine (Prozac). I was doing ok (relatively) before that but for some reason I’m now more depressed than before instead of vice versa. The medication also makes me highly nauseous, especially sick in the morning, and causes severe heart pain in the early hours of morning when lying in […]
I promised I wouldn’t do ‘crazy shit’ to my psychiatrist, but I just can’t hold it anymore. I don’t live my life for me, I live it for them.
But fact is; they don’t care if I’m here, there or gone. My councilor at school is totally lost with me, he doenst know what to do with me, the kids at school ( yeah, they’re kids. freaking childish barbiedolls. I’m turning 19 in less then a month and my class is full with 16 y/o barbies :l ) don’t see me. I will give my parents, my family, my friends rest. My parents will have so […]
I feel alone :/
empty…
I went to my GP today, he directly sent me to the psychiatrist institution, and they have talked to me. In about 2 months there will be a spot for me… till then I have to suck it up. I’m glad there is a solution, finally. The GP said I probably have Borderline…
<3
Dawn
If you want to manipulate your psychiatrist into giving you the medications you think are best, educate yourself with regard to mental illnesses and their medications. Always participate in your own healthcare with your doctor, if you can.
Where Help is an illusion… LewisGale Medical Center
1900 Electric Road
Salem, VA 24153
(540) 776-4000
If you do not have health insurance, you need to know the following before calling a hotline or asking for help.
You may be sent to a hospital against your will. You are placed in handcuffs and possibly shackles. Your life will continue to get worse. Hospitals are businesses and want lots of money. The stay is about $2000 a day, not including doctor fees. You pay more than the negotiated rates of insurance companies. You want to die. A five […]