Thirty years of my life I am told that those glowing red embers in the fire are hot. Thirty years of my own experiences have told me that the closer I got to those embers, the more I could feel the heat.
“It’s not true”, says my Psychologist. “You can’t let what others say affect your entire life. It was your depression making you feel a heat that wasn’t really there.”
“Now, go ahead, reach into those flames and grab a big handful of […]
I really want to see a psychologist about my problems. A while back when my mom found out I was cutting I went to a counselor, and it helped a little bit, but she was basically a school counselor. I want to tell my mom that I think the things that are wrong with me aren’t temporary because sometimes they go away but they come back pretty regularly. I’ve felt pretty awful mentally for a long time (probably the last three or four years) and I don’t know how to tell my mom that I want help. I feel like she won’t take me seriously, […]
I graduated from college two years ago. After graduation, I suffered from deep depression for complex reasons. I cried crazily and I am very suicidal. I couldn’t even go outside to seek a job. For a year, I just stay at home, isolated from all people and handle my emotion. In 2013, I went outside to seek professional helps, including psychologist, doctor and social worker. However, none of them think I need help. They just ask me to seek a job outside. In fact, I sent out many resume outside, none of them replied to me. Then, they told me just to work in restaurant, […]
Hi, I’m 16 nearly 17. I was told I had depression 3 months ago and sonce then it feels like everything is getting worse. I was very happy throughout 14 years of my life, I had some problems like only connecting with my household family because of issues with my mum and rarely seeing my dad cause he works. Never thought anything bad of it until I was 15. I had a boyfriend that all went well untill after we were going out for 10 months and things went down hill but I always blamed myself for these problems. He lied to me and in […]
Omg, like I’m mad paranoid. I’m paranoid to even be writing this right now. I feel like everyone is against me. Like my life is the Truman Show. I struggle and misery is my best friend, it’s like after awhile you enjoy the pain. A sort of frenzy begins to happen. I’m just really in a dark place. I feel like music is talking to me and sending me subliminals from my boyfriend. This happened before with someone else I cared for. It’s like I’m getting all these subliminals and signs from everything. I’m always freaking out and no one knows. No one […]
I don’t know how to write this, I’ve never written something like this before, so I guess il just start, I’m sorry if it sounds stupid or doesn’t make sense.
I don’t know how much longer I can feel this way, I had an amazing weekend, I was happy for the first time in years, but alas, 5 days on and I am back to where I began. I have a psychologist that I see and sometimes a psychiatrist, also two people from a subsection of the nhs who come and check on me as I am 17.
I was going to be admitted to a hospital […]
I hate reading all these messages of optimism on these suicide sites. Especially when it’s in response to a teenager, “You have your whole life ahead of you!” Yeah right. If it’s anything like mine, you don’t want to live through it.
I’m 30, and I’ve wanted to die since I was 8. Too young? Not when you mother is psychologically abusive. I have a lifetime full of stories about her. The shortest example I can think of was when I was a teenager. I got my report card. It was 2 A’s, a B, and a C. She SCREAMED at me for over 2 hours. […]
My appointment is roughly 24 hours away and it will be the first time I’ve gone to a therapist/doctor – now I’m wondering: if I mention my recent failed attempt(s) and my true thoughts will they commit me to hospital? Â My attempt a week ago failed then two days later I was thwarted by a recently installed fence preventing me to simply hop into an exit.
The appointment is with a psychologist however, she works with a psychiatrist in the same office. Â Honestly, I’m not even sure how I’ll feel speaking to this individual even though she was quite comforting during the initial telephone call so […]
Okay. So I finally found another therapist. And, she has way better creditials than the last one. Way fucking better. Plus, she has a way cooler office and she’s way better looking – hehe and 😛 and 😉
So anyway, I’m going to try and hang on. Try and give therapy another chance. I’m sure I’ll keep coming here as I go because the crap I’ll be sorting through will bring me back. SP is a safe place for me – I know some feel otherwise but – it gives me a place to write about the darkest places and thoughts without being judged. Without some […]
 
Hello people.
I am 15 and from Brazil. I think this post is gonna be long, but I ask you to read it.
The point of my post is not sharing my self-harming story. But let’s start with it.
The time was 2011. I had some problems with people. Actually, people were my problem.
These Internet fads were rising at that time, in my country. Not only that, I was 13, that moment when we start to grow up and realize how people are essentially […]
I must have been around 8 or 9 when my mother first brought me to a psychologist. I had to draw a tree and had to talk to the lady. Obviously I must have been depressed but I didn’t know the word for it. When I was 21 I did three suicide attempts over a 2 year period. The internet did not exist then and my method of trying to die humanely (sleeping pills – Lorametazepam to be exact) were not to succeed. Sleeping pills in combination with a bag: no use either. I was only left with the humilation of waking up in a […]
My life just took an 180º turn.. for worst.
So I had my appointment with the psychologist today. Needless to say that two minutes in and he was already giving me paper tissues. I was crying my heart out. I told him pretty much everything. Concentration problems, trouble sleeping, depression, lack of memories, suicidal thoughts (I explained I wouldn’t do it because of my mom tho). And according to him, I should had seeked help a long time ago, as now I am so deep into depression.
Result from appointment: Tomorrow I have another appointment with the psychiatrist so I can start right away taking antidepressives and […]
What do we live for? or should I ask WHY?
Some of us manage to achieve something in this so-called “World” like having sonS and daughterS, wife/husband or Family itself. Others of us manage to achieve money and many more material things. But one thing I do not understand, WHY do we exist? There is no sense for us to live, we just achieve some of the things I mentioned above then we just die.. like we never, ever existed.
I know some of you will say something like “We live to create other lifes” “You are selfish,this is the Balance of our World” “You’re crazy” […]
Im approaching fifty, will be next year. Im a straight male, never married and no kids. I always wanted to be, and always thought i would be a great dad. I spent five years in the US Air Force and sadly got out. To this day, im regretful, it was my purpose in life to retire as a military man but i didnt, i live with this everyday of my life. As well as the fact never marrying or having kids, knowing that i will die and not leave my mark in this world. I have no friends, and havent had a girlfriend in a […]
If I was real and told my new psychologist that I’m trying to get hold of enough heroin to od on, or my exit bagplan. I wonder if I told her I dream of diving off the m4 bridge would she offer some support? Or will I simply be locked up again? Should I be honest, can they really help me then?
Well this is basically an update of how i’ve been and where i’m at in life. I have turned 15 and my depression is eh more or less better, it isn’t as constant as before and now it’s more of a few days a week or so. My mother has found out i self-harmed and has told my doctor which created a huge shit storm that included me talking to a social worker and seeing a psychologist. Well i saw this psychologist and it was not what i thought it would be. She was very nice and fairly young and i went once a week for […]
My life has always been messed up. The earliest memory I can remember was of my mum holding one of my arms and dragging my out the front door of my first home and my other hand reaching out for my dad who stood and watched. I was screaming and crying. I didn’t want to go.
I’ve lived in many homes since my mum and dad got divorced. And mum has had many boyfriends. One was Gavin who had a son. They were really nice at first but I got scared of Gavin. One day during one of Their arguments I was hungry so I […]
I have no real reason to kill myself. I guess I’m being really selfish and unreasonable. My boyfriend left me oh..about month and a half ago. I really loved him..no..I was obsessed with him. I still am. After he left me I threatened to kill myself and his mother found out. He still really cares about me, he only left in the first place because he thought I could do better. It really destroyed me inside. I’ve done awful things. I’ve cut, I’ve lied, I’ve threatened to kill myself, I’ve tried to blackmail him and I’ve used other people. I feel worthless, unattractive, unable to […]
You know that feeling when you are losing yourself again, when everything you’ve worked so hard to build up is falling apart? You know you’re slipping but there’s nothing you can do except pray for strength.
I’m 17 and I’ve felt this way far too many times.
I feel lost, like my life has lost all its meaning.
This year, right after summer vacation I was called into the counselors office at school. Last year I had an eating disorder but refused all the help my teachers and counselors tried to give me. She was just checking on me and I excitedly told her how […]
How do you really tell someone you’re in pain without it bothering them? Without making them feel useless for not being to help you? Normal activities will only take you so far. Should I return to pointlessly opening my flesh? How many OD’s til I get it right? When will this spit stay in my mouth? When will my body stop aborting itself? I don’t want to kick and thrash anymore. I don’t want to freeze in one state for minutes on end. I want my old life back. When I was a humorous person to be around, when I would laugh at myself even. […]
Please log in to report posts