i am worried that some people on here are trolling this site looking for the vulnerable. rest assured i am strong. yet in pain. i am so lonely right now. i made the mistake of calling my parents’ home. my mother is heavily into gaslighting and loves to confuse my mind. i screamed at her called her a name left a nasty message for them both and then fell into some guilt. now i dont care. i would give anything not to be this person anymore, hanging on by a thin thread. the agony of alone can destroy you. sick of the gd voices but […]
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I’m not what you’d call suicidal. I don’t wish I was dead every day or think that the world would be better off without me. Personally I just need SP because it’s the only place I have found where I can express all my fucked up feelings and emotions free of judgement. If I’m not active on here or I don’t read all your shit and comment on everyone else’s shit I’m sorry, it’s because I come here to let out my own personal demons not to drown myself in everybody else’s.
Yes, thank you if you read my stuff and comment on it, I […]
I know it’s a bit late to start a new years resolution. But I decided the other day that I should start writing one or two good things that happen each day for a year and at the end read them all. Sounds like a good idea right? Sounds like it will make you notice the positive things in life, help become a more positive person. Not for me. It’s done exactly the opposite. I’ve realised what a miserable life I have, how cynical and negative I am. I can barely find a good thing that’s happened today and for me it was a busy […]
tired of my pain
tired of this place
tired of clenching my teeth at night, tired of his voice, tired of the cold hard floor and the lousy couch bed, tired of being a woman beaten to a pulp turning her strength against herself, tired of rosaries and patriarchal religions, tired of men who dont care, tired of the demons, tired. tired of them having kind parents. tired of the thoughts. tired of the anxieties so deep they prevent you from doing anything at all, tired of being afraid, tired of this draining, loud, triggering, horrific life i lead, tired. tired of pretending, tired of the four […]
Last night my boyfriend broke up with me. If you’ve read my last post then you would know how much pain I’m probably in. I know why he left even though he didn’t specifically tell me. It’s because I was simply too depressed. I was too much to handle for him. I don’t blame him for leaving because I would too if I were him. I don’t really see a point in living. I understand that it sounds stupid of me for saying that, but so what? I understand that there are “more fish in the sea” but he was the one with me through everything. […]
I’ve been posting a lot lately today, sorry. I was just wondering if anyone still wanted to hear my poetry. Before people said they wanted to hear it but idk anymore so comment and tell me. Sorry for wasting your time. If you haven’t read my story, it’s not far down the page (there are 2 parts) so feel free. Thanks for taking your time to read my posts. I’m really struggling.
Funny how everyone in this world even the ones you think are “close” to you can never read the fake smile… Funny how everyone thinks everything is peachy when really it’s all a living hell!!
Hey, so I’m new here if you couldn’t already tell. I’m on here looking for answers of some sort… I probably will only come on here once and a while but please help me now. Where do I even start? Well I’m only 12 and even though I’m young I really am in trouble and I’m NOT going through a “phase”. I need help from someone out there who has experience (somewhat) with what I’m going through. So first off my parents are divorced and I live with my dad (I’m a girl and my mom lives only minutes away), My brother, who’s also my […]
Hey there, so I’m going to start off with me introducing myself. Hi, I’m Jaja, a really depressed fangirling potato (don’t judge). I’m asian but not really good in math.
So let’s start my story, I was really a happy girl but then cupid shot me, accidentally, and I fell in love with this guy. This guy was my former classmate at summer sports school, and since he’s like 2 years older than me, I figured that I could be closer to him if I ask him to tutor me on Facebook because I hate the outside world, where all sociable humans are, disgusting, anyways, so […]
It was so nice to see you tonight. I feel alive. I love you much. I wish you could read this. I wish you could. I really love you.
I really love him. So much.
Happy birthday to the most beautiful and unique person I’ve ever met, I really love you, you know I’ll give everything for you, I want you to be happy and be fine. I know your heart is broken but I swear I can fix it if you let me try. I can try to make you happy. I love you so much. I swear. I wish I had the courage to tell you all this instead of writing it down where you can’t read it. You’re such a beautiful pain that I crave everyday. Even tho I know I’m broken I know that love can […]
Capture that. I’m in english class at the back. Everybody is writing exept me. I’m staring at this blank page since 1 hour. I look at it and read the question that the text is supposed to answer: “what is happiness?” Do anyone really know? I mean i don’t know if i’m happy or anything so what is the real meaning of that word that everybody seem to know but me?
The teacher finally says that the class is over but, when i give back my paper, she stands up and says as loud as she can to all the class “look how idiot you have […]
Do you ever read a post on here and wonder if it’s from someone you know in your everyday life? The idea is weirdly comforting to me.
I’m not sure why I’m feeling the way I am. When I made my decision and came up with the plan, I felt relieved. When I took the first step and bought a burial plot in the small cemetery where my father is buried, I felt I had accomplished something concrete. I already have rough drafts of my letters written, and decisions made on where and how. I’m just waiting for one more (unwanted) event to occur, after which no one will need me anymore. Yesterday I went out and ordered my headstone, which looks just like my dad’s, except that I wanted to put […]
dear sp, just a warning. their is a troll on the loose. this one is really nasty. she was using the tag HAYTRED, but is now using GOD. do not bite her hooks. do not read her words, do not take her advice. she has nothing to offer. like all of us, i desire to find that peace, that one thing that will let us enjoy living. myth, maybe. her desire is death, destruction and misery. dont know about all of you, but ive had more than enough of that shit. so avoid her. good luck, peace to ya and keep trying.
“What now?” The first thought in mind was the last thing I thought about while waiting to die. I woke up and it was cold, dark, and dirty from not cleaning the house while in my state of misery. I got up, stumbled to get to the bathroom, and sat on the pot. I didn’t use it, just as a chair. I examined myself thoroughly through the mirror and found that my eyes were bloodshot, hair was a slight grey, and my lips were cracked. I’m an average looking guy on most days and look younger than my age presents. I’m 21 and already the […]
I’m done feeling the pain I feel. Let this be read by some who may care. This is final as I’m slipping into death now. The pills are overtaking me I can barely type so I’m stopping.
Yes Creed.
Still alive folks. worried because I’m struggling not to slide into sadness again. I mean things do feel a bit different now that I’m on meds but I’m starting to think abut death a few times a day instead of one or two. And not always as a joke or an escape.
Started going to church again but it’s weird cuz it’s not the denomination i’m used to but there is a lot of singing and hugs so I’m figuring it out. I’m trying to see if being connected with God or the Universe will make this all feel different.
I constantly have to do lists in […]
I know I barely post here anymore, but I still come back every now and then to read your stories. I recently read Shephard’s goodbye. He was a great friend to me a while back and I lost contact with him for a while. I need to know if any of you have had contact with him since his final post. I sent him an email, but haven’t had any response. And I know I may not hear from him for different reasons… But I just need some closure. It’s killing me. Please, if anyone has heard from him, or knows if he’s still with […]
I think its time for me to open up. I want to tell my mom but I don’t know how to. I was about 14 when I was rapped. I thought she was my friend, but I guess wrong. She said that if I didn’t let her, she would kill me. I was scared for my life that I let it happen. I feel like it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have let it happen. I would go into detail on how it happen, but I don’t think anyone wants to read about that. I feel like if I tell my mom she might blame herself […]