Anyone want to chat? Yknow, about death and stuff? Anyone at all? I really am losing my grip on reality.
Tag:
reality
I still remember the glint of your eyes, the vibration of your pale irises, the pinch of your cheeks as your transfiction deepens, god I remember it all. What you were staring at is lost to me, and the absence of such an essential detail carves the hollow caves of my heart even deeper. Your mouth is curved, poised to speak but frozen in the grasp of your captivation. What you meant to say is suspended on your tiny lips, like a bird furled in its cage, the door open but caught on its jutting wing, so close to being liberated yet restrained by itself. […]
The sun and the trees have life,
The people walking by infectious of there media ridden minds have life..
The sheep of the masses
Do they deserve to be slaughtered due to ignorance?
Or should they be applauded for enjoying life?
These decisions have not been left to me nor do I want to make this choice.
The only choice I want is to end my pain and suffering
A lifetime of addiction and hurting others is all I’ve managed.
I am the American Psycho watching others pass by; testing the boundaries of reality.. what if I fell off this bridge onto these cars?
What […]
It seems as I get older, life just gets worse. Reality becomes more…well, real. I don’t know if I sound crazy or if anyone else out there wants/thinks the same as me but tbh I really just want to live in a beautiful fairy land where no bad happens, no lies, cheating, murders, etc.
I want to go somewhere far far away from reality and this evil world full of evil people who don’t give a damn about anything! I do not belong here, my soul has never belonged in such an evil place. I am so different to everyone I know and meet:/ I […]
Does anybody else confuse dreams for reality?
I find that most of the time I remember the things that actually happened as if they were dreams- blurry and confusing- while I can remember dreams much more perfectly-as if they were real.
Sometimes it take me a few hours to realize that everything I dreamt wasn’t real, and I get mad a people for things they actually didn’t do.
She’s sleeping across from me, her consciousness vacant in the deep slumber of winter suspension. I can feel the pulsating music of her breath, fleeting softly in its trembling exhale and the delicate flutter of her inhale. I can see the small flicker of movement beneath the thin pale of her eyelids, almost lost in her catatonic beauty. Her chest rises and quivers with its innocent vulnerability, almost audible in the emptiness of the room. I’m breathing in the naked intimacy existing between her and I as I bathe in her captivating presence. I can feel her phantom dancing around me, her hands twirling, twisting in […]
I remember my days of old, gloomy and dismal skies were my lot.
Broken, confused and distraught. When would I start enjoying life once again?
Absent friends and a flustered mentality, as days went on, so was my happiness gone.
I cannot grow old on this accursed lot of loneliness, nothingness and despair. Could I
rise from the rubble, shall I dream, do i dare? This is how life was back then. We are the
creator of our roads, navigators of our souls, elevating us towards our goals.
It is time to take this dream and make it a reality.
Don’t leave me
Don’t leave me
I can’t handle myself without you
Without you
These tears won’t fill my emptiness
I have this ache inside my chest.
Although we want to live and die.
Can we save this without goodbye.
Don’t leave me
Don’t leave me
I can’t stand to live without you
Without you
My lies have become my reality,
Is there such thing of you and me?
I can’t forget smiles and tears,
That help me through my biggest fears.
So please don’t leave me
Don’t leave me.
Cause I can’t even stand to try,
If we’re going to say goodbye.
Goodbye
This is goodbye
cause I […]
I had managed to carve out a nice life. I was happy, we were happy. Sitting on the couch smoking a bowl, laughing at silly things on T.V.
I lost him, my best friend, my brother, my partner in crime, my husband boo. It seemed like we beat the odds, you know? Finding each other. The job I had was great. We took long weekend trips to random places just because it sounded fun.
Being anywhere with him was fun.
The thought of you hurts because you are not here, nor would I want you to be… what I am now is not what I was.
Life moves along […]
What can I say? I’m 27 unemployed, living with my dad and step mom. I’ve gained like 50 lbs….im 200 lbs right now… I feel gross I’m 5’8
I had a psychotic break a couple years ago… lost everything. My job, car, apartment, boyfriend. I had a good job, nice car, awesome boyfriend….
I started getting delusional, i literally lost my mind. I was living on the street for a while. then my parents found me and I came home….
For some reason I’m suicidal now and not when I was homeless? I guess reality set it… when I was living on the street I was happier… strange […]
I used to think it was SSRI’s. The Lexapro, Paxil, Lexapro doing it to me. I would have these dreams that I could not separate from reality. My therapist at the time told me it was lucid dreaming because at some point in the dream I would be able to say this is not real and wake up. The problem is I don’t take an SSRI anymore so it worries me that I can still dream this way. Am I going crazy? Sometimes I feel like I can’t even separate my dreams from reality. I wake up crying saying someone has passed away or my […]
As frustrating as this back-and-forth bullshit is, today is one of the days I’m glad I didn’t decide to end it (I think). Rainy mornings followed by a world that is glistening, new, and ripe with new life. I feel partially inclined to watch because I’m wont to do that, but something deep inside of me screams to make myself part of it. New life.
Isn’t this always how it starts? Mystification –> disenchantment –> disappointment.
I don’t know which part of myself to give in to. Let myself be happy for a bit, give in wholly, and hope? Give in partially, so later on I don’t […]
Reality suck , Real Life suck , Real World suck . why human’s Imagination is much better & interesting than this everyday’s boring reality ??
by niki
written by niki
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very boring, and especially nowadays become only very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, creative Art, basically human’s IMAGINATION & fantasy is often/always a hundred times FAR much more interesting & better than this sad, mundane, boring, superficial, & very LIMITING life / world / reality ??…
does God (if there is indeed one…!) play such a cruel sick joke for especially creating human’s IMAGINATION inside our heads?? .. especially often the very creative, artistic, […]
I don’t know about any of you but I frequently look up ways that a person could die so I can structure the most reliable method of suicide possible if I ever came that close to the edge…which is rapidly approaching. You know, things like, “How to take a bunch of pills without throwing them up”, “How to tie a noose”, “Ways to bleed the most” but my results all turn up with nothing (except the noose one). Perhaps I need to ask the opposite of all these things. Or, just trial and error. Trial and error. I wonder if a near death experience is […]
Stage 1.
Blaster of death.
Two player. Our shadows intertwine.
In full-throttle collateral damage.
Dreaming of the upmost dynamic.
The one of the chain of the wicked soul.
The comrade of life and death.
The game board is in reality.
For the life of my story.
Dying in our lost corridors.
Gotham, waiting for a sound.
Far from here. Far, far away.
Arkham, waiting for a sound.
Far from here. Far, far away.
First objective mission, videogame game-station.
Remote controller, in the hand of divinity.
Let us play. The wings of Satan, is my cape.
The battle of the living heroes, of the dying race.
Damien is my child, in Arkham town.
The reality against one man. The suit of sorrows.
Enter.
The Alpha Line, here.
Stage 2.
Blaster […]
I hate life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, boring & mundane, nothing that interesting!
by niki
written by niki
I hate life. I hate people. I hate this world. I hate reality / real world / real life, they are all too boring/mundane for me, and I’ve found almost nothing that is interesting in this reality/real-life/real-world anymore, also in MOST people/humans!
the majority or MOST of human beings/people in this world I’ve found to be either a bunch of stupid, shallow, superficial, ignorant, selfish, rigid, stoic, lifeless, uninteresting, uncreative, and/or boring / mundane ones.
maybe that’s why this “reality” (or “real world” / “real life”) or our society currently is sooo f*cked up now almost beyond help!
with only VERY FEW exceptions of: real-GOOD, honest humans/people, real […]
I hate this boring, bored reality / real life / real world, I hate this life, this LIMITED world, and I hate people/humans ..!!
by niki
written by niki
Movies, books, video games, novels, comics, anime/manga, etc etc, basically human’s IMAGINATIONS is a hundred times FAR much more interesting than this very LIMITING reality / real-world / real-life here in this world!
and what’s even worse is that most (about 90%) of humans / people I meet & know everyday are mostly stupid, shallow, superficial, mundane/boring, money and profits and image driven only, ignorant,.. mostly human beings especially today these days are much more bad & hopeless ..!!
(there are -thankfully/luckily?- only FEW humans/people that I like, eg: the very creative/imaginative & ‘other-worldly’ artists who created/made all those awesome fantasy, sci-fi stories, novels, books, […]
Besides sleep, gaming is my really only other means of escape. So what do you use to escape your own reality. And I know it’s a sad means of escaping, but honestly I don’t hardly have the energy for much else.
“Imagine you are in the middle of the sea surrounded by hungry sharks,
How do you escape alive?……….
you stop imagining .”
Basically you “wake up”.
I had a free class and the supervisor decided to do these weird riddles, and that was one of them.
( a weird free class I will admit)..
I find myself often wishing that this were the case, that with most hopeless situations, we could just wake up, and before you say it I know that these are the imaginings of a fool. Â I’d like to think that this – my life- is just the ultimate nightmare and that I will wake up at some […]
He is destroying me. He doesn’t even care that he is killing me inside. I feel so alone and I’m completely lost. My friends and family act like I shouldn’t care and that I shouldn’t be upset. I didn’t want us to end..especially not because of my stupid parents. I’ve been miserable for the last 2 months..He made me happy. I felt that he was my escape from reality. I could be myself around him and he didn’t judge me. He told me he loved me and wanted me. I fell into the abyss. I am now slowly fading away. I want to die. I feel so […]