Tag:

remember

My letter

by bayareaguy 9/28/2015

written by bayareaguy

With All of My Love………………….

Its better this way, it really is. I don’t think I will ever be able to explain how pain filled, lonely and useless I have been for so many years. Living is a complete hell for me.

No one I know would wish such pain on an animal they love and, would indeed, put the poor thing out of its misery. It would be selfish to compel it to go on living. If any of you ever have to experience this deep misery, you may, at last understand it takes courage to go against the natural inclination to live and thrive. The […]

9/28/2015 10 comments

Alone.

by prosser6 9/13/2015

written by prosser6

I hurt myself again today.

Just to make sure I’m still alive. Another scar on my arm, another broken frame.

The blood falls onto the sheets, the crippling fear at my gates.

Another failure in the books. No one hears my screams, my happiness is a lie.

But that’s the price of making others happy.

And the only pain in death is felt by those who are left behind.

Our empty world is cruel, hurtful and unforgiving. It will break you.

I still remember your beautiful face. Those fleeting moments we shared.

I can only hope you’re still with me, holding me close while I cry myself to sleep.

I don’t blame you. Your […]

9/13/2015 2 comments

Soul tired

by renegade247 9/13/2015

written by renegade247

I have been mentally ill for as long as I can remember. I suppose it really started somewhere in Junior High but being a surviver of some pretty horrific abuse, who really knows. I have severe Bipolar Disorder. I am not depressed now and rarely do I cycle that way. When I do its feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness & an earthshattering urge to sleep. I don’t get sad. I feel a level of pain that is indescribable & that no one should ever have to feel. Mostly throughout my life though I have been manic. Not that manic that gives you amazing self confidence, […]

9/13/2015 2 comments

Last chance

by Roaming_Soul 9/10/2015

written by Roaming_Soul

I’m going try and fight this one more time – this time I’m not holding back and I will give it my all.
The thought of suicide is still appealing to me, of course it would be after years of a sickening pain that has now left me wondering who I am as a person and how my miserable soul could possibly fit into this world.
But after my last failed attempt I realised that I would not go out without a fight. This life has kicked me down and kept me in the dumps for as long as I can […]

9/10/2015 2 comments

Derealisation

by alonelybird 9/9/2015

written by alonelybird

It always messes me up. Where is everyone gone? I feel I don’t know anyone, I look at them but there’s nothing, nothing at all. I don’t remember them yet I do, there are memories but no connections??? Idk this is hard to explain. I remember the day it started, it was a strange feeling of becoming infinitely lost in what was once so familiar.

9/9/2015 5 comments

Thought…

by razer 9/7/2015

written by razer

Every day it’s all the same

Like no matter what the reason is

The seasons never change

I think of all the time I spend

There’s a fire in sky

They’ll remember me tonight

It’s burning up

9/7/2015 0 comment

Goodbye

by wndozh8er 9/4/2015

written by wndozh8er

I love you all. Please remember all that I said and tried to do. You all are very special to me.

9/4/2015 29 comments

I will overcome my mistakes!

by dep 9/4/2015

written by dep

I feel very depressed when I look at my 17-year-old self and remember the hasty choices that I made regarding my career. I’ve ever been very responsible with my school activities and, indeed, I’ve ever excelled; however, fear and anxiety usually devoured my guts so that I couldn’t take the risks and apply to a more profitable major/career at college. When I see my friends who weren’t afraid, chose the right thing and succeeded, I do just want to die; because time doesn’t go back and it sounds like I threw all my opportunities away. Today I’m 27 and I see no other solution than starting again from zero; […]

9/4/2015 3 comments

Ever had memories so intense that you just wanna bang your head against the fn wall until they go away?

by wndozh8er 9/1/2015

written by wndozh8er

i remember in school, I had a couple times when girls pretended to like me and than made fun of me with there friends the next day. I remember this one was wanting to meet me at the park. Ha never happened.

The reason I brought this up is because that’s exactly what happened to me yesterday but over the fn Internet. I just wanna get all these memories out of my head. One tragedy always leads to existential breakdowns with me. Alcohol, pills, there only temporary. Death is forever.

I hate roller coasters…..the rides and the emotional ones. I want this fucking shit to just stop. […]

9/1/2015 14 comments

It’s Over

by 1dimple 8/29/2015

written by 1dimple

Not for me but my friend. He has passed. Taken his own life. I was emailed the news. Horror filled me. I fell to my knees and wept. I was lone and still I buried my face into my hands to hide my sorrow. I felt the pressure build inside my head, my stomach turned. He knew that I loved him. I don’t have to regret him not knowing. I never left him. Never gave up on him. It wasn’t enough. His demons were ruthless and unrelenting.

He was hurt over and over again by the people who should have been his protection. I feel numb, […]

8/29/2015 11 comments

Lost & Confused.

by jazzyj 8/23/2015

written by jazzyj

For the past four years I’ve struggled with PTSD, Anxiety & Depression, but the thing is I think I had anxiety and depression before I even figured out I had it…5 years ago I was 15,lost and confused.. To start off my first year of highschool was a fail and I pretty much quit the first week, I went to one class everyday for a week because all of it was over too whelming for me and I didn’t understand why I figured you know it’s highschool it’s probably over whelming for everyone, but I knew it was different for me when I started thinking […]

8/23/2015 1 comment

Should I Commit Suicide.

by NotAttentionSeeking 8/21/2015

written by NotAttentionSeeking

Pro’s:
My life is empty, pointless and meaningless.
I don’t have any omph/ passion for life.
I do the same thing everyday. Get up do nothing. Go to bed.
Just waiting for time to pass day by day.
I’m basically the walking dead.
All I ever do is sleep all day.
I have no job because I’m a lazy fuck.
I have no friends cause I’m a lazy fuck.
I don’t think it’s going to get better.
I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember.

Con’s:
I don’t want to go to hell (if there is one).
I have my family to think […]

8/21/2015 5 comments

Worried about my health. Need advice

by wndozh8er 8/20/2015

written by wndozh8er

know it sounds contradictory for someone who’s suicidal. I want to clarify that I’m not afraid to die if I’m doing it peacefully but I’m afraid of suffering from health problems.

ok remember last week when I spent the weekend with my dad, drinking vodka and smoking a shit load of weed? I have had dark circles under my eyes ever since. I was wondering if any of yall had the same experience, if so, how long will it clear up? Worried about what’s causing it. I’m afraid I may have hurt my liver or something

8/20/2015 7 comments

Sucky week.

by johnwhogivesashit 8/19/2015

written by johnwhogivesashit

So I went to my psychiatrist last Thursday. Got a new script for vyvanse 50mg and a refill on my ativan 1mg 3 times a day. And he doubled my wellbutrin which seems to be working. Idk anyway first time taking a prescribed stimulant and fuck the vyvanse is strong. I couldn’t get it till Friday because of insurance crap needing pre auth. Anyway so I ate breakfast on Thursday skipped lunch and turned in early with no dinner. Finally got the vyvanse and took one at like 2 o’clock cause wanted to see how it was. That kept me up till like 5 am. […]

8/19/2015 4 comments

I have nothing left to live for.

by Phobia 8/11/2015

written by Phobia

Let me start off by saying I’m not new on this forum and that I have been suffering for a while now and I can’t take it anymore. I’m almost 17 years old and I have been fighting severe depression for several years now. This will be my last year of being in high school and I don’t even know if i’m going to graduate on stage with my class. I’m to stupid to even pass some of my classes as my anxiety and depression kicks in and I can’t focus or concentrate in any of my classes. There is this one test that my […]

8/11/2015 4 comments

Mysterious Misery

by KissOfDeath 8/11/2015

written by KissOfDeath

It’s mysterious,
the day you change,
suddenly feelings are engulfed by darkness,
and it feels as if you’re carrying a darker shadow than usual.

You wonder if people notice,
but you don’t think they can,
until you get that one person who says “Why are you so different all the time now?”
and you realize that everyone has noticed,
they’ve just been too polite to say anything.

You curse yourself,
but how could this be your fault?
This isn’t something you wanted,
this isn’t something you can change.
You swallow down the pills,
that numb your brain, feelings,
yourself.
To please you parents, your family, your […]

8/11/2015 1 comment

Nothing

by Not_Saved 8/11/2015

written by Not_Saved

I have felt like shit for so long, I don’t remember what it’s like to feel normal.

Since the fifth grade, I have been dieting because one of my friends constantly told me my thighs were fat. I compared myself to her daily: She was pretty, had good grades, had a Mom lot of boys wanting to be her boyfriend, and I had jack shit.

In sixth grade, I started self harming. I was caught, but nothing came of it and I started to do it again about a month later.

In seventh grade, I started getting bullied. I would get shoved in the halls and would get called ******, […]

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8/11/2015 2 comments

0 Email

Reasons why I want to end it all

by jadedkeizy 8/10/2015

written by jadedkeizy

1. Life basically has no inherent meaning and humanity is insignificant in this gargantuan universe.

2. I hate capitalism and technology. Humanity is collectively vying for a superlative goal. This goal constitutes building Artificial Intelligence that will soon render human existence superfluous. Capitalism is a way of evolving collective “God”-consciousness

3. I hate the system and its procrustean laws. Always keeping us domesticated. Of course I can’t fight back alone. I am powerless to run the gauntlet solo. Our behaviour is closely monitored through soul crushing 9 to 5 jobs and mindless entertainment to act as a vehicle for temporary escape and not be able to remember […]

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8/10/2015 4 comments

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I

by kmjtree 8/9/2015

written by kmjtree

I just want to die . You know it’ll be so much better i belive , no pain just peace.
No worrying about life and people surrounding me.
I can’t remember the day i was really fulfilled of happines .
Life became this scary dream that I can’t seem to wake up from.
Everything just seems to go over and over the same pattern everyday.
Sleeping for ever yeah, that will be perfect.

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8/9/2015 1 comment

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My story

by Anonymous 8/5/2015

written by Anonymous

I’ve attempted suicide 6 times in the last year. The pills are sitting next to me for tonight.

I became suicidal many years ago. I can’t remember quite when. I never acted until this year though.

I started self harming after my fourth attempt. I’m 57 days clean. The blade sits next to me as well, ready to be used.

My family hates me and I have no friends. There is no point for me living anymore. I don’t see why I hold on.

I recently stopped taking my medication. I just flush it down the toilet every morning. The medication makes me feel numb anyway.

I’m so broken I […]

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8/5/2015 10 comments

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