“Live or die, I’d rather take the latter route
Take the ladder route
Rope around my neck and kick the ladder out
There’s no need to drag it out”
Tag:
Rope
After I lost my friend, I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to, I wound up joining the wrong crowd. I was always a little bit of a drinker, I mean I liked the taste. But I got a little too tipsy one night, and I wound up sleeping with this guy whose last name I still don’t even know. I wound up getting pregnant after that, but I tragically lost the baby before I could even tell anyone, including my family. I wound up spiraling down into depression and “cutting” and I was just in a funk. As soon as I […]
The driver had taken two candyflips earlier that day (acid and molly tabs) at the show. After the show, we went to an after party at someone’s house. Driver may have drank, I don’t know. But by the time I had to go, it was much after three in the morning…he wasn’t high anymore, just tired from being so high. We left, and he was swerving all over the place. My anxiety with cars has always been pretty bad, so my voice got caught in my throat and I couldn’t tell him to pull over. I closed my eyes on the highway after valley west […]
You were so broken,
Words never spoken:
They haunted you in your sleep
You didn’t speak,
Maybe you could cry the pain away.
Your life was good
He treated you well,
You would always smile,
He could never tell
That you were hurting,
Your soul burning.
You tucked me in,
You kissed my cheek
You sang a lullaby and watched me sleep
He kissed you goodnight,
With a sleepy “I love you”
“See you in the morning”
There were no warnings
When I woke up, I saw daddy cry,
“Everything’s fine,” He choked on his lies
And then I saw you, and lost all hope
Around your neck was a fastened rope
From that day on, it was all broken.
I’m slipping back into depression. For the first time in months I deliberately took a razor to skin and edged it in. The familiar slice and twinge offered a precious moment free of the past that haunts me. It felt so GOOD. So tremendously good. My wrist is aching for a gash right now, but I can’t. My wrists are clean. Under my clothes isn’t so pure. It’s the only thing that offers freedom from pain, and I can only imagine that deeper cuts and a tub of warm water would offer all the more bliss. I can’t. I can’t kill myself, can’t and won’t. […]
My hands are shaking. My heart is breaking. I know I’ve lost you. You say I’ve moved on but I know I haven’t. I’m just not okay. I’m not happy. I’m not.. ANYTHING. I have my rope, waiting to slip around my neck and for me to take that plunge.. And I feel numb. Nothing. I know I hate myself. I know a lot of things. But nothing compares to the knowledge of my love for you. I know it sounds stupid, but it’s the truth. You are my soul mate and I will die without you. I can’t talk to you because you freak […]
My name is John and I and 19. I have no real friends to speak of, I’ve lost interesting in the only thing that has been really keeping me going and I’ve been wishing the past few years for something to happen that would get me killed. I can’t commit suicide because my mind and body physically won’t allow me to do so. I don’t know when exactly I started feeling the way i did, but the feeling has only grown stronger over the years especially in the last few months.
I have no job, no drivers license because i can’t afford the insurance, no friends […]
I sat there on the side of slop. The summer wheat swayed in the wind as I watched the sunset. I relaized that the world is full of beauty and I am nothing. I hung my head and realized, no one really listens, no one gets it. This hurt inside me is so deep, so painful, so incredibly numbing, that it goes on the lingering for suicide anymore. I simply don’t care anymore. I don’t care if I live, I don’t care if I die. I simply perform like an actor. If the program calls for laughter I laugh, if it calls for sadness I […]
When I look forward and try to picture my future I see absolutely nothing. That petrifies me, that feeling of dread catches in my lungs and I don’t know what to do. How do I make it go away? Dear god I need something. The blade is not enough anymore, I love her, I always will, but it’s becoming dull. I fantasise about suicide, the how’s and when’s … pills or hang from a rope or a trip off a ledge, if you dare. I want more than anything to make it stop; I need it all to fucking stop. I have never attempted, I […]
So yesterday the only friend I had in the world left me. He told me I was a bad person… that I was too fucked uo for him to stick around. How my apathy and suicidal ideation made it bad for him to be around me. And as much as I begged him to stay, and as much as I pleaded, there was no changing his mind.
So I came home. Bought some alcohol, bought out the pain killers. Swallowed 50. Took a blade to my wrist and carved my skin off. Then took a rope and tried to hang myself.
Yet I am […]
I tried partial suspension hanging today almost fainted could see floaters( white spots near my eyes) but the rope was long and my feet touched the ground panicked and struggled to remove the noose but succeeded to remove the noose will try with the shorter rope today night when every one is asleep. Here is a brilliant site explaining partial suspension hanging
http://jiutsu.motionsforum.com/t2-methods-partial-hanging-suspension
Now with a scar on my neck will definitely kill myself before this weekend
I’m not sure how to say this, I’ve never posted on something like this before. But I quit.
I’m turning 18 in almost 2 weeks, but I don’t think I’ll last that long. I’m depressed, I have been for a while, but instead of accepting that and finding a way to cope with it, my dad is ignoring it. I really noticed it after my mom passed away a year and a half ago. Granted, it’s normal to be sadder than usual during that time, I realize this. To try and cheer up, I tried looking back at the time before we learned she had cancer, […]
Here I am sick with some sort of infection again. This time my swollen lymph node is in my groin. Usually they are in my neck or at the base of my skull. I’m sure when I see the doctor tomorrow they will do a blood draw and my WBC count will be elevated as always. I am so tired. I feel so sick. I have the runs and my psoriasis is spreading. My hair is falling out more and no one knows what is wrong with me. I am at the end of my rope. I am 31 and shouldn’t have to live a […]
I have now reached the point where I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. I am absolutely exhausted with trying to pretend that I am ok. I have had these intense feelings of loneliness and sadness lately and they are starting to become consuming. I have tried talking to everyone I know, but no one seems to understand. They tell me its just a phase or that things will get better just “try to be positive” (like I haven’t been trying). I have tried self medicating but the effects are only temporary.I tried cutting, but it just made me feel worse about […]
I am in the military and my wife has been telling me for years “Ever since that last deployment, you just haven’t been the same”. Can’t say I was blown up by an IED or anything of that nature, but the experience was bad enough that the the thought of going back out gave me enough anxiety to want to rip out my chest. I should have gotten help when I got back. It took 3 years but it won. I broke.
On January 24th 2013. I tried to commit suicide. I tied an electrical cord around a joist in my basement. Then I tied it […]
I’ve read a few stories of sexual abuses, and I can relate. I guess that’s a round about way of putting it. After finding myself with no place to live at eighteen, I joined the Marines. After boot camp, I married my high school sweetheart, who then had an affair with my neighbor while I was at work. Shortly after discovering that, while working through a law suit, I had to then work through no pay due for three months… Begging charities to put food on the table for my wife who was sleeping around behind my back.
I meet a new woman, who’s the love […]
Is your joke still funny when you see my scars?
Is your joke still funny when you see my tears?
When you see me wish for death?
when you see me in so much pain?
Is it still funny when all i think about is ways of dying?
When i wanna just kill myself?
when you know it was all your fault?
when you know that you pushed me over that line?
That it was your fault i cut out my veins?
when it was your fault i overdosed?
when you know it was your fault i put that rope over my neck?
Is your joke still funny when you see me basically dead but still […]
Im done with everyone’s bullshit, im tired of seeing people fuck perfectly good things up. Meanwhile im stuck here talking everyone’s shit while other people are given perfect life’s. Tonight my friend said that people who kill themselves are cowards and i couldn’t stop thinking about that. Im not coward ive been drun addiction, depression, and physical illness but im tired and weak. This shit has weighed on me for far to long hoq much longer am i supose to hold on to false hopes. Im at the end of my rope and i need a saving grace otherwise im pulling the tigr in the […]
One day I’ll be alright, but for now I’ve got to dream and fight. The future, they say, is oh so bright. But from my view it’s as dark as night.
Shadows upon the walls, demons creep, and darkness calls. There’s no victory, the battle lasts eternally. War zone up ahead, life and death fight in my head. I hear the screams of the dead, the words they whisper, the words they said. echoing, inside my mind. Are you okay? of course, I’m fine. No need to fret. For i’m alright. No I’m honest, it’s not a lie. Even if I just want to die, […]
I am guessing you are gone now. I haven’t heard from you in a while and know you had little rope left, needing what remained to hang from. I never learned your real name and don’t know what you looked like; I only knew you for a few weeks but we shared more in that time than most do in many years. I loved you, my friend. Truth be told, I had a big crush on you too and part of me wishes I had said so. My world was better for your having been in it and I will always remember you and thank […]
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