Tag:

sabotage

Trying to get help

by whydoiwantto 4/13/2016

written by whydoiwantto

I am so tired of feeling this way. I want to try medicine again so that I can function and not be crying all the time. I called out of work today and tried to set up a therapist and psychiatrist appointment but all the psychiatrists in my healthcare network (I literally called every one) are not taking new patients or have no availabilities. I was sobbing on the phone as I heard no after no…

However I was able to set up a therapist appointment for today. I haven’t gone to therapy in about two years but I have been feeling so suicidal and isolated […]

4/13/2016 1 comment

by Sui_RC 1/5/2016

written by Sui_RC

This just hit me.
Our worst method of self harm isnt cutting, or burning,
It is self sabotage.
Atleast thats the way with me.
Worst part , i still have that lingering hope.
And the fact that i am sabotaging myself, while still having that little hope, is tougher.

Suicide is tougher cus i still wanna live.
But my motivation for suicide are ever growing,
1. People hate me , and i hate most of them.
2. The ones i do love, dont love me back
3. My parents only love me cus they are biologically engineered to do so
4. Future is bleak and getting […]

1/5/2016 6 comments

I’ve made my decision

by ismedyl 9/19/2015

written by ismedyl

I’ve been suicidal for over a year now… I hate myself I just want to disappear not many people would mourn me… Just my family I don’t have a wife or kids. That’s kind of the problem I have no one to love my lease prevents me from getting a dog so that companionship is out. I live with my mom because I’m 19 and I don’t get paid enough yet to move out I dislike her with a passion… What a *****, I’m adopted so don’t do that whole she birthed you bullshit I can’t stand the *****… I had a girl in my […]

9/19/2015 21 comments

Revenge finally sweet.

by BrokenAngel8 7/12/2015

written by BrokenAngel8

Its funny how ones mood can get better so fast for a moement. I went on a trip to a water park yesterday with my sister and a few friends. Found out from one of my friends that my recent ex tried to sabotage me publicly and his planned backfired on him badly…. Just because I spoke about the bullshit hes done to me behind my back on social media. I havent felt so good in a long time. XD

Now off to work for the next 6 days off the day after then traveling for 2 days after that.

7/12/2015 2 comments

overcoming depression w/o antidepressants or therapy

by truthbetold 6/5/2015

written by truthbetold

Speaking from personal experience, I’ve come to the conclusion you can get yourself out of depression .. without therapy or antidepressants

I’ve made a lot of progress since late 2011 – early 2012 .. back then I was very depressed with suicidal thoughts
I felt depleted of energy throughout the day regardless of how long I had stayed in bed
I remember that one time, I tried doing pushups but couldn’t find the strength .. leaving this world was the one and only thing that truly resonated with me, everything else was just blah

these days, I feel good most of the time and I experience levels […]

6/5/2015 2 comments

It’s happening again.

by Corma 1/19/2015

written by Corma

Hello all! I feel a dire need to express feelings normally hidden by my outwardly cheerful facade; I’m your average 90s kid, born ’87, and I’ve had my share of depression, tried to kill myself twice, both times I’m happy to say were unsuccessful (poison both times). But over time I matured learned to find ways to enjoy life, and save my death for a worthy cause. I think my decision to savor life has made someone very unhappy, I’ve felt there’s been people out to get me for a long time, although that wasn’t the cause of my depression it certainly weighed on me. […]

1/19/2015 1 comment

More or less?

by New Shoes 5/14/2014

written by New Shoes

I have had more and less, yet I have always been a miserable person. My brain is not right. I am not capable of sustaining relationships with sabotage or to truly “connect”. There are a few things I would postpone my death for but once I got to experience them I would not consider it worth living for. I date someone who has no respect for me, I am an option to them and worth keeping around albeit at arms length. I am embarrassed I allow this and often times pursue it. If it weren’t for him though I would not have any social […]

5/14/2014 2 comments

falling apart

by kristink 3/25/2014

written by kristink

something is going on with my body. this new “fun” thing just started.Â i am having trouble speaking-getting tongue tied. people talk to me and i can’t understand what they are saying. sounds like gibberish to me. i am shaking like crazy. the weakness i have been having has spread to the rest of me.Â feeling like i am watching myself from afar. i am drifting away . making myself invisible . having a lot of trouble concentrating on what it is i am doing. feeling anxious about leaving my house. i know i should go in to see my shrink. it is obvious the […]

3/25/2014 0 comment

I’m not fighting this any longer

by happilymarried 5/24/2013

written by happilymarried

This is it, I’ve decided. Â No more crying, nor more worrying, no more pain. Â No more torturing myself with “what if I just gave it a bit more time.”

Yesterday I made my final decision. Â I’ve made this decision many times before, but never could it be this final. Â `This is because I am officially at my breaking point, and I told myself I’d at least wait until this came to go through with my suicide. Â Now that I know what my breaking point feels like, I know better than to let anything stop me.

These are signs I told myself late yesterday, thank you for this […]

5/24/2013 2 comments