I’m not sure what I really expect anymore.
A couple months back, September to be specific, I found myself in a hole. You know it, the black abyss that you stare at day in and day out. The one that never seems to end. I had been looking into, getting lost in the darkness for too long. Years have past since I can actually remember being happy for a full 24hrs. It seems so surreal to even imagine I used to have fun.
Anyways, I tried to take my life. I really tried… pills, alcohol, the whole deal. Fortunately or unfortunately ( I haven’t decided […]
Tag:
Sad
I’m sixteen, afraid of death but overcome by thoughts, people, judgement. I used to be mad all the time but now? Sad, depressed, not a full day I can say I’m proud of myself, that I’m accepted and that’s fine, I don’t need highschool opinions/rumours. I don’t want to die but I don’t want all this stress, of the future, of the past, of people. Forgive me for boring you.
am i the only one who felt worse once someone told me i had severe depression?
am i the only one who stays up late thinking because sleeping will mean its closer in waking up?
i know a lot of people are feeling how i am, or worse, i just cant stop crying or feeling the way i do. i wont to change, i want to be reborn so i can take away these scares that i’ve been told im weak over. i want to start over, new body, new everything. i want to go to sleep and never wake up again.
hello everyone
i have quit public high school, i am now being home schooled.
i am already regretting everything. on the bus i have realized that most of the time i will be alone now, with all of my thoughts.
i think that i should just kill myself already
everything is so stressful and my mom and dad drink everynight and i feel like cutting again.
i think i am going to have a break down AGAIN Â but.. iknow if i do i am positive my mom will send me to the hospital, she almost did last time.
i just want to die.
i want to be killed.
this is the saddest i have ever been and i don’t even remember what happiness even feels like anymore
i’m always so down and sad and whenever i laugh i don’t mean it and it’s just not right and i can’t even smile.
my heart feels gross. like it’s sunken in darkness, my mind is always cloudy and i’m failing a lot of my school classes.
i should be glad that my friend has come down for a couple months to stay, but it’s been so tough. she wants me to be happy.. but i just can’t. it’s like i’m incapable of being glad. i’m always so negative […]
what would it look like if I committed suicide tonight. I’m not even sure how I would do it. I don’t have a gun, which is the safe bet. That doesn’t leave a lot of choices – drugs, cutting, not sure what else. and to complicate matters, I have a dog. What would she think? What would she do? I’m not expected to be anywhere until about 9 AM on Tuesday (it’s 8:34 PM on Saturday night) so she would be alone for a long time. How long would it take for people to search for me? […]
I’m sorry, mom.
I’m sorry I fail to meet your expectations every day, I’m sorry I’m not doing well in school.
I’m sorry I’m not thin, or athletic, or pretty enough for you to be proud of me.
I’m sorry I am so torn up inside, I’m sorry I have chronic depression.
I’m sorry I don’t talk and walk like the girl you wish I were.
I’m sorry I have different opinions on what is worth my time.
I’m sorry I don’t do everything right the first time.
I’m sorry I can’t function correctly.
I’m sorry I am sad most of the time, I’m sorry I am a lot to handle.
I’m sorry I’m […]
I have spent a long time reading through this site. But never posted.
For the last 3 years now is struggled with depression, caused by job stress, relationship etc. Over the last two month I hit a patch where my job and my boss brought me right down. I’d entertained the idea of suicide, but could never go any further than that because of my partner, whom I love very much.
So for two months I’ve fought back, getting back to a healthy state, then on saturday night, after a good day in the sun, drinking and enjoying my time with my partner and friends, I go […]
i spend most of my time, thinking to myself. trying to tell my self that yes, these people exist, they have feelings, their heart beat and they feel sad sometimes too.. but then again, how can I be so sure? and i can’t tell anyone how i really think, they’d think i’m crazy. who knows. Maybe i am crazy.
I spend most of my time wanting to die. the anxiety in me, the feeling of wanting to do everything at once, but having no purpose in doing it, not wanting to, why does it all matter? all what we do is grow up to get […]
This isn’t really something I usually do, I’m more of the “bottle it up” kind of guy, but I really need to get this out and Google led me here as an appropriate place to do so. It’s up to you if you want to read all this, but at least if you do, I have some validation of my efforts. Which I imagine would be nice.
Well… here goes.
I should be happy or satisfied enough really, shouldn’t I?
I mean, I did life right. I left school, got a steady dead end job and got myself a place to live independently. In this […]
Okay well first of all Hi my name is Karalyn and this is my first post so yea, hi!
I am 12 years old [pretty young for this website I know..] Anyways,
I was at the mall with my older sister one time, and I wanted to go to Hot Topic, But every time I ask.. My sister would say “You’re a freak for walking in there and wearing their clothes” I don’t know if she notices but it hurts me and that’s one of the reasons I cry to school. I feel that everyone just thinks that I’m a freak who wears all black and band […]
Something akin to a smoker with no cigarettes
a junky with no junk
My soul is unsatiated, a hollow heart for a friend.
This pain is ongoing, unending, unyielding, unceasing
Carving away at an already empty vessel.
If this body could lie down and never awake
If this soul could fly up and out and on
Into the darkness
The vast darkness.
There is comfort in an enveloping never ending darkness
A place with no pain.
So here it goes. I live in Canada, I wasn’t born here but I came here when I was 15. My first friend was this girl named Ana, we became friends cause we were on the same class and we were from the same country. Ana and me, wow. We had this amazing friendship, at the beginning it was awkward cause tbh I’m an awkward person, I don’t trust in too many people and I’m very selective when it comes to friends, etc. but her, she’s very outgoing and crazy and stuff, everybody loves being with her. I didn’t mind that, I mean, she’s my […]
Okay, so I am twelve years old and I am super depressed. I swear, I took the depression test online. The scores were ranked from score zero (no depression) to score 55 (extremely high depression). I got a 49, which isn’t good. Anyway, I am being bullied and I WAS abused. Now I’m in foster care 😉 but I’m still not happy for some odd reason. I try to meditate and relax, but it never helps. Just please help me…
I swear to god, I can’t deal with my sister and her stupid friend. All my sister does is criticize me and her friend constantly puts me down and insults me. Honestly, I’m about done with it. I can’t put on a fake smile and pretend everything’s okay anymore or I’ll go insane. I’m thinking of these four different things to do…
1. I could politely ask them to stop
2. I could tell them to stop more assertively
3. I could punch them both in the face
4. I could not say anything and start crying like a baby
God knows I am way to much of a coward […]
Hello, my name is Zach. I stumbled upon this site and I figured I would post my story here as well, hopefully It may help someone. So anyways, this story is about my step brother Max. Max was a wonderful and caring boy, he had a deep passion for art and liked to skateboard with his friends at the local skatepark. Seemed like the perfect kid right? But the sad truth is, much like many young people in america, he suffered from major depression. To my knowledge he was not bullied or anything in high school, His parents got divorced but it seemed to be […]
Most people who have never had depression think depression is no more than just sadness. However, depression is much, much more. It is a never ending link of sadness. It doesn’t go away for a long time. Sometimes it doesn’t go away at all. There is almost no happiness when your are depressed or suicidal. For example, imagine when you are extremely sad. Now imagine that that extreme sadness never, ever goes away, at least not for a very long time. That is what it is like when you have depression.
Like I remember one time, I was at a thanksgiving party (This was last year in […]
I was at school. I just recently found out that a mean girl from last year said that I had head lice and I should just go kill myself. Of course, I just laughed my ass off since that mean girl wasn’t good looking herself and tried to do that because she thought of herself as ugly. For the first three weeks of hearing that I was fine… until something happened…
My sister, who is in the same school and grade as me, became friends with that mean girl’s sidekick. Every time I passed my sister’s new friend, they would both just roll their eyes. I […]
I feel like everything I do is a mistake. I say things that are awful sometimes… but it’s only because I hate feeling like I have to bottle up my emotions and opinions. I am just going to write exactly what causes me to feel this way and I am not looking for anyone to make me feel justified or anything. I just needed to vent somewhere and writing in my journal wasn’t helping me. I realize that my problems are nowhere near as bad as some of those on here, but I needed to put my feelings out there and feel like someone […]