Once again, I cut myself. I can’t remember if it was before or after I took some pills though. I cut myself with a razorblade, it’s kind of my new self harm strategy. It tears up my wrist more, but I feel like it doesn’t scar as bad, we’ll just have to see how it goes. This time I didn’t count the pills I took, i just grabbed a handful and tried to take them down as fast as I could. I don’t know why, but I had this sense that I should write about it on here, like I used to. I’m sure it’s […]
I hope that you like it in your little motel
And I hope that the suite sleeps and suits you well
Another year passes and I miss you as much as I ever have. It’s different now than it was, but the scar still remains deep inside. I truly hope that your decision has brought you the peace and freedom that you sought. I still don’t judge you or hold it against you. It’s not my place, nor the place of anyone else, to pass judgement on the validity of your decision to end your own life. It doesn’t mean I support it, but I will never […]
About 3 year ago I fell in love with a girl that I had known for a few years. We started to talk through texting, instant messaging etc, but we would never talk in person, ever, I mean I felt just guilty looking at her. We became “best friends” (sounds almost laughable now, considering we never said one word to eachother), but I always got so angry whenever we talked after a few months of this, and we argued pretty much every day (still through texting), which caused me to harm myself – most notably I have several long scars across my torso, a burn […]
A storyÂ
These scars tell a story
A story of me
My life, my feelings, my history
Each scar has it’s own meaning
This one on my wrist was from the day you kissed me goodbye and left me to die
These down my arm are from the months of self harm ending with an attemptÂ
These circles on my arm are lighter burns from the zippo I carved with your name on it
These scratches here and there are from the times someone else was there with me but yet I felt aloneÂ
This one on my chest is from where I was stabbed, this ring around my wrist […]
My nightmares
When children have nightmaresÂ
It’s usually of the dark
Fears born from lies
Thoughts born from the unknownÂ
Their dreams are plagued with monsters and ghosts, darkness and ghouls.Â
They wake up knowing that it was just a dream
That in reality there’s nothing to fear but fear itself
Oh how I wish I was still like that
Because in my dreams monsters serve me, ghosts fear me, ghouls fall for me and darkness is my kingdom.Â
these are my happy dreams
The ones I hope to relive
You see, my mind is kind of flipped on its lid.Â
My nightmares are of love
Of happiness
Of caring
It’s funny not many people ask about my scars. But today someone i worked with saw them and asked. I actually stumbled over my words. I didnt know how to answer. Reading back over that, not funny. But you all know what i mean. Anyway I made some excuse about them being caused by me fallig off a motorbike at my cousins house. Which i do have one scar from. On my thigh. I know she didnt beleive me because of how they are positioned and some are new. And the fact that I told her it was nothing to start off with. Any suggestions […]
I can’t stop thinking about him. I really can’t control it anymore. To be in love with a person who is partly responsible for the biggest and ugliest scar on my hand, the other part is me. I know the world is laughing at me along with him but i can’t stop.
I tried to hate him instead but after couple of days he would do something nice, just a small gesture and i would forgive him and pretend we are starting all over again as friends. I am aware of all the lies, his twisted personality, and self-destruction. I also know he doesn’t give a […]
I’m a semi-normal thirteen-year-old. Sitting at his computer desk, eating milk and cookies after he gets home from a hard day at school. But in my hand is a pair of scissors, worn from use. I am cutting myself. But once you look past the fat and scars (physical and mental) I am a good person. And I accept that. I don’t hate myself, it’s just my douchebag brain making me take everything the kids at school say to me like they’re true. And some of the things are. I feel mostly carefree, except for the fact that I fail at everything, including killing myself. […]
i am 16 yrs old. my mom is 32 and my dad i dont know becaus e he walked out n my mom when she was pregnant. i live with my mom and step dad who are married and have been for 12 yrs. they have 5 kids together. my step dad raised me but i was never close to him. my father figure past away 2 yrs ago. i didnt know how to handle his death so i started cutting again. i started cutting when i was 8 and stopped when i was 14. my mom doesnt know that i cut and no one in my […]
I started cutting about three weeks ago. At first it hurt alot, then i realized that if you break a plastic cup into small pieces and fling it against your wrist it still bleeds and it doesnt hurt as much. I am so ashamed to be saying those words but I cant help it. I used to never be able to understand the people who said that they “needed to cut” and that they “couldnt go a day without it”. Now i understand because I am one of those people. I cant go a day or even an hour without thinking about it or actually […]
I may be metal and have no heart
But in your life I have become a part
As I carve and carve at your tender wrist
I feel in your brain there must be a twist
Is it normal to turn to me for help?
When if I scar another they scream and yelp
Your feeling empty and rather alone
But I’m not left sitting alone in your home
In your bathroom cabinet I’m normally sealed
Although next to your heart your dreams become real
You use me to express your raw self hate
But should I be used in this way to create
The […]
Suicide? Is some way out of a miserable life. As for others, it seems as if there is no other road but that.
But its wrong, and your vision is blurred. There’s so many things you can do to help yourself, without going to any suicidal facility.
I myself love helping people, and people who WANT to live get their life tooken away everyday. People who have a loving, caring family, die everyday. MORE then half of the whole world is dealing with problems, and a bit less then half actually go threw with suicide. The bit that try and don’t make it, they realize many things […]
Hello children, I just wanted to shed some light on one of the worst times of my life, I was not always as well adjusted and happy as i am now, i was once in the gutter. Its difficult to talk about because its a time would like to forget, but those who do not remember there mistakes are doomed to repeat them.
It was 7 years ago, the first time attended college, After my GF died, i went off the rails completely, If im perfectly honest it was mostly just a blur of alcohol and self pity, hatred for a god i didnt believe in, But mostly i […]
i havent been on here in so long, i forgot about how sad i was until i read all of these posts i put up. i came back for one reason and one reason only, to say goodbye to this website. i dont need it anymore 🙂
i have the guy of my dreams, my mother and me are happy, and im just happy. i dont cry as much anymore i mean, i still do but thats either period related or just missing my daddy. but im happy
so i over came my suicide. my dark moments filled with pain and sadness. gone, all the pain is […]
I sit here and all I feel is pain
wanting to cut and make my wrists rain
make them rain with blood. I get no love
I sit in my room all alone, me and my pain
pain is all I feel, pain is all I know
Noone will ever know how I feel, or what Im going through
when you smile and laugh, but you know it’s just a show
Im the only one to blame for a meaningless life
so I sit in my room alone, just me and this knife
not wanting to take my life, just leaving a lifetime scar
a […]
Just Red Paint
        My Name is Sean Shadoes, then I was eleven I was sent to a place called Wasatch canyon rehab after attempting suicide, I had cuts on my arms and legs and a gun shot wound through my chest
         When I was Ten my life became hard to control, I felt that I had no other options but to get away, people (including my Parents) told me that I was worthless and unnecessary and I believed them and acted upon the thought that I didn’t matter and was worthless and unnecessary, I never talked unless […]
I saw people posting their suicide stories, so I decided to post mine. I’m an only child, come from a broken family, and started a relationship at only 11 years old with my cousin. I haven’t cut yet because it would be too obvious – my skin doesn’t heal for years. My dad was never around during my life (I’m thirteen now), and when he was he would abuse me and my mom. I would try to fight him or tell my mom to report him, but I think she hopes that he will change. When I try to fight him, he points a gun […]
people people pls
hear my tears ive cried
Im 14 and living with my mom brother and dog
i have a scar on my arm im contemplatin to cut open again ive cut my wrist 3times took 8 advils and choked my self with a belt twice
life for me is hell im scared to die but im ready
i hope someone here  i dnt care how old what gender suicidal or not I NEED HELP
Someone hear my heart i cry in my sleep i lost my great grandmother been heartbroken three times twice  by the same guy i cry alot
smile less im so ugly im scared to look decent […]
Don’t bother trying to save me
Just let me be
I don’t need you anymore
So please shut the door
And walk away
I’ll see you again someday
I know it’s dumb
But IÂ wanna be numb
I’m tired of hurting for you
So sick of trying, too
I’m sick of trying to hold on
When all hope is gone
I’ll let it all go tonight
I’ll give up the fight
The stains on my shirt
This addiction to hurt
I can’t take it
I’m weak and I hate it
The blade at my wrist
IÂ just can’t resist
I’m weak and I hate it
The blade at my wrist
I […]
 I’m stupid. I can hardly get a C in a class. My dad calls me a flunky, failure, stupid and a *****. I’m not pretty at all. I eat a lot but I’m not super fat. Every one picks fun of me, I’m aways wearing black. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about seven months and still nothing has changed. I haven’t changed. I smoke and I’m only 15. I like to think of older guys. People scar me. I have to many fears. My best hobby would have to be researching serial killers. My parents say I’ll be one.
Â
 Any one who […]
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