Scream into the night
Scream for the right
Scream for those who cannot
Scream for those who fought
Scream for those without sight
Scream, for there is no light
Scream for those who hurt
Scream for those beneath the dirt
Scream for those who lied
Scream for those who cried
Scream for those whose tears run red
Scream for those that wish they were dead
Scream for the terror
Scream for the horror
Scream for the might
Scream, for you have lost the fight
Empty
-But I bleed
Hollow
-But I hurt
Lonely
-But I want
Dead
-But I breathe
Scream
-But I cry
Alive
-I want to die
I’m stuck. In my head. I can’t
I don’t
Help me
My words are choking me
I want to get out
I’m afraid and hurt and so fucking angry
and I don’t know why
I don’t want to hurt them anymore
Every time I bleed, they cry. When I drink, they scream.
Am I hurting them by trying to help myself?
Is what I do wrong? I can’t deal with anything and the things that help me cope bring so much pain to those around me.
Should I suffer to save them from myself?
Who will save me?
Am I even worth it?
So I was in my orchestra class yesterday. I was talking to my friend. And I pretended to shoot myself. He grabbed my “gun” and said playfully that he would never let that happen. This kid that I’ve had a crush on since the first day of Freshman year turns around and looks at me, then looks at my friend, and says, “She wants to kill herself?” and kind of gives me this look like he might know what’s up (which he probably wouldn’t).
I’m just sitting there like, ‘shut! up! shut! up! shutupshutupshutup!!!!!!!’
And I wanted to scream ‘YES I’M FUCKING SUICIDAL!!!’
…
So I just kind of sat there and […]
I think what hurts the most is that I don’t feel anything anymore. I can’t cry, I can’t scream in anger. I just feel so numb.
I cut deeper and deeper each time but I still don’t feel anything, the sting of the blade is a blessing.
I drink too much, to try to forget, or remember I can’t even tell the difference anymore. There is no concept of time, just a blur of blood and wine.
Sometimes I wish they could see what was happening to me.
It’s like drowning, but I can see everyone else breathing fine.
Sometimes you have does days wen you remember all the good things that happen in your life and that they can’t never come back. Wen you begging to remember them you just want to cry, you begin to feel that pain again. You don’t know how to stop it. You just cry and cry; you wanna scream but no words comes out, you wanna tell someone so they can help you but there’s no one. You begin to feel alone, you feel depressed. You begin to feel that pain growing so fast. You begin to do stupid thing to your self. You don’t want to […]
Why does everybody tell me they’re sorry, sorry for what!? I’m pretty sure it’s not your fault I’m fucked in the head beyond repair. I feel like i have to scream at them “don’t tell me you’re sorry, cause i know, o i know, you’re not” it’s bullshit people should just fuck off i don’t even know what people are saying to me anymore, ugh everything’ll be fine when the meds come i’ll finally be able to od 🙂
these feelings, these horrible feelings, they haunt me, taunt me, scream do it, its ok, take more, take em all, let go, it’ll be ok, everything gets better when you’re gone. i loved her she was mine, only mine i thought she loved me but apparent not on the night she tried to take her own, i love her still do, the place they took her changed her, she left me for another and they look happy in love almost and it crushes me everyday, i hate this, i hate it all,these feelings are ridiculous, why must they be i want them gone, as well […]
Bare with me, I don’t do this kind of thing a lot. Ever, really. I’m 15, female. I started cutting when I was 12. My mom and older brother were fighting all the time, not like arguing either, like throwing chairs at each other. He hit her and made threats. I didn’t feel safe. He pushed me around a little but nothing major. My mom was also mostly living with her abusive boyfriend at the time, staying at his house with his family. I hated that. She left me home with my Bi-Polar drugged out father and younger brother, whom I basically raised. After several […]
It’s hard to say what I feel now(like always) but,I want to tell somebody cause I can’t keep it inside anymore…It kills me,I’m destroying everything.I want to scream and let that thing get out from me forever.I think about suicide every time,but I don’t wanna hurt my parents,they made for me much! In my school I’m just another “Looser”…It don’t wanna feel this way …..I don’t want to live,I have no reasons to live for…..I feel empty inside,that intolerable pain….I’m broken,broken is what I am………
Well… I don’t know… I have three older brothers my first brother is 15 years older than me so I pretty much grew up without him, my second oldest brother is 12 years older hes nice sometimes but it seems like he’s always obsessing over me.. He calls me baby and says he loves me and gives me hugs and kisses most of the time forcefully and smacks my butt and I scream at him to stop and my youngest brother is 5 years older than me… He’s my closest brother.. It was so hard for me when he left for college.. I didn’t know […]
So a few weeks ago I found out this guy (that I don’t even like as a friend) has a crush on me. It’s awful and annoying. I never picture anyone having a crush on me (due to physical appearance) and when you find out someone does to me it’s just like uuhhhggg!!!!!! Why?!??!!?!??!??!?!?!!! I seriously want to scream I don’t like you!!!!! But I would hate myself after. I’m still confused on why some one would like me. I’m depressed, ugly, fat, and just gross and lately I haven’t been myself at all and it’s scaring me. *sigh I really don’t know what to […]
My story is kind of a weird one. But here it goes. My main reason for attempting suicide, was a girl. But this girl, is incredible. Beautiful,
Funny, sweet. Id say more things about how great she is, but that would take a while. Anyway, heres the story. This girl, who i pretty much fell in love with, is like my world at this time. I cant get her out of my mind, i cant sleep because of her. It sounds like thats coming right out of a movie. But its true. I actually love this person. Which didnt work out to well for […]
i tried to kill myself. more than once actually. i was put in the hospital for 3 weeks. and while i was in there i was happy. i was that happy and excited kid i was before depression took over me. but as soon as i got out everything went back to the way it was before. my mom and dad scream and yell at me all the time, they make me feel worthless, and they make me just want to run away and never look back. My brother lives in a different city and i haven’t talked to him in a long time. me […]
here, i am.
on the top of this building, again.
i’ve hesitated, i’ve believed.
but nothings getting better, for me.
i jump, free fall.
But i realize its not free at all.
As i look into my families eyes
As i watch my bestfriends cry
As i watch him scream in pain.
As i watch them throw me in a grave.
But i have already jumped.
I hit the ground with a final thump.
i open my eyes.
i see the pain begin
I have payed the toll.
And watch the devil burn my soul.
I guess I just need to write something. I’ve tried killing myself already but it didn’t work and I haven’t tried again since because it’s nearly time for finals and I don’t want to distract the person who stopped me. She still has a brilliant future waiting for her and I shouldn’t get in the way of that.
This morning is just harder than most. I felt good since Thursday but all of that is gone again. I woke up and just started crying while cursing myself for being such a useless idiot. I guess I knew it was just a matter of time before I […]
I used to be this happy little girl who only saw good in the world, nothing could keep me down. Now its like the smallest thing makes me want to pop a bottle of pills… maybe its because it all builds up. My mother has said so much about my weight, along with others, that everytime its mentioned i want to go purge. When it comes to people i dont even know anymore. I dont want to be alone but sometimes i dont want to be around others because i know that half the time people wont be focusing on me. I dont see point […]
stop all of the dreams,
and start all the nightmares,
Listen, to them scream.
but nothing is there,
your all I’ve got,
your my only hope.
but now even you
seem to be cutting the rope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it’s a fucking mess
and there’s no escape.
my wrists are red.
someone save me.
drowning in this sea,
this sea of blood.
death stole innocence,
with the bang of a gun!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with every breath you take,
you want to stop it all.
the blade is your friend,
it helps you when you fall.
love is a joke,
your only love is rope,
it made you a […]
I wanna be strong enough.
to fight.
I wanna be tough enough.
to survive.
but even fighters gotta give.
and even weaklings gotta live.
i want to breathe, but it’s too hard.
I want to feel, but i got no heart.
I sold it,
a long long time ago,
sold it to the devil,
along with my soul.
And God won’t help.
He hasn’t for a while.
but i still pray,
But I guess it’s not His style.
He doesn’t care for me,
he does’nt care at all,
I guess I’ve asked too much of Him,
Cause he won’t answer when I call.
So I’ll […]
Last night was just an all around bad night. My girlfriend needed to go to the hospital and I offered to go with her, but she said “no” because I need to sleep for school, understandable. And then my boyfriend said he will go with and she jumped at the idea which honestly just bugged the shit out of me. I mean, how in the world did it make sense that she only wanted him with her. I just was so mad. And then again I was bothered because they just automatically assumed I will watch their 2 year old daughter. And yes, I know […]
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