Well, i thought it was time to introduce myself. I’m a girl, sixteen years and I’m from The Netherlands (Please don’t mind my spelling and grammar) . My nickname (Engeltje) is Dutch and it means (Little) Angel. I live in the area of Amsterdam (I guess most of you know Amsterdam :P) . I live with my parents and an older sister. So that’s the general part and now a part that goes about my life. Okay, I’ll try to keep it short, so I will only tell the most important things.
I don’t know how it goes in the USA, but in The Netherlands […]
You know what. After my friend and I made up yesterday I thought everything would be good. I walked into college today thinking “No getting depressed, this will be a new year and a good start” I went 2 minutes until people started bullying me. I had thought it would have stopped after I completely flipped and screamed at them last year.
So, first lesson – ICT, first thing that happened was I was pushed into the huge mother fudging computer, and they laughed at me and shouted “Emo boy gonna cry? Go cut yourself freak”. Well, I went into the boys loos after, and as […]
I am not pretty,
I am not smart,
I am not beautiful,
and I self harm.
I have a cold heart
don’t have nothing to give,
You should move on,be
with someone who isn’t shit.
I am so blank,
I am emotionally drained,
I am a cutter,
My clothes are blood stained.
Not worth the wait,
Not worth your tears,
I think you know that
but had to make it clear.
You can’t waste time,
over someone like me,
I may seem strong,
but inside I’m weak.
I don’t know the time
I really have,
I’m scared I’ll hurt You,
I’m scared like hell!
You can’t live your life
in constant […]
Why cant I be gone already? Why am I still here hoping for change when more terrible stuff happen? Why when i beg God to be dead the more bad stuff happen to me. I guess it just my bad luck. My life is to complicated right now but i keep holding on but then again there will be no change. But i won’t let go. No. Not now. Not when there are those few people that care so much. Not when i start feeling a bit of love. But then I can’t stop that thought. That thought that makes me hurt myself and i […]
Today I broke an ongoing achievement of mine which was to never smoke , but I was told it relieved depression after the first one I was actually quite surprised at how I felt. It felt great I was also offered cannabis which I took, looking back I’m disappointed in myself as it was a stupid thing to do and now I’m getting addicted. But it’s made me quite suicidal I’ve gone to the point of self harm but what I found weird is it relived my depression more than smoking or weed. I don’t want to get addicted to this or take it to far but it would […]
For those who’ve kept up with my post. I almost cut last night but chose to make this video about self harm. The pictures are of my self harm they are graphic so if your easily triggered please dont watch.
Leave your comments on the video do you like it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH0xxe3Kra0&feature=youtu.be
Last night I was talking to my best friend and realized there is so much going on with her. I was wrong. She’s cocky and rude on the surface but on the inside she’s just as insecure and sad as I am. I love her to death, and the things we said to each other last night will always stay with me. She asked me to promise to never self harm or starve myself ever again, and I said I was going to try. I am trying. I’ve been 12 days clean, and I hope I stay clean for the rest of my life.
My suicidal […]
.. Have i ever thought i’d get to this point no.. im only 14 why am i here. What did i do to deserve this. I guess this is the time i’d share my story right? Exsplain it all get it out, wipe my slate clean. But im sure none of you care to hear my story. So if you dont stop reading, its not gonna be a happy one.
I was 3 when my mom kidnapped me, she abused me every day tried to kill me once out of jealousy, cause after i was born no one gave her attention anymore. Great mom right? after […]
I’m falling apart and I’m so sick of trying, I’m so fucking sick of it, because I’m fighting so hard and I have been for so long but things are only getting worse no matter what I do.
I’m 17 and this shouldn’t be happening. I’ve been clinically depressed for over a year now, been self harming for a while, and have an eating disorder (bulimia). I’ve taken 2 overdoses in the past and have been admitted to hospital for 1 of these. I’ve also been admitted another 2 times for suicidal ideation/self harm. So that’s my story I guess.
My […]
my name is jess and ive been fighting deppression for 3 years i have also been fighting self harm for 2 year and i have recently stopped (for now) and i have an anxiety disorder. so as you can see, im pretty messed up! but what i am going to tell you next you might think im really crazy i think. but for some reason i fantisize about death. i have always just wanted to die. i dont know why i guess cause my life is just so effed up. maybe because ive lived enough of my life to know that i dont want to […]
i told my parents about how i have a girlfriend now… big mistake.,. did not accept it at all.. so what if i like girls and guys?
ugh… worst night ever. and to add to it. my girlfriend dumped me.. so i told my parents for nothing… i tell my friends and theyre all like “you should of waited a month before telling your parents” and im like, wow! cant you just be here for me instead of telling me the things i should of done differently…
i wanted to start being close to my parents.. so i was gunna try.. well im done trying.. my mom […]
i was happy once, i know i was..just cuz i cant remember it doesnt mean it didnt happen. right? burn after burn nothing gets better, cut after cut. pill after pill. and im still the same.. nothing will change will it? i will never be good enough for my parents. i dont understand why i even care about their opinion. i hate them but since theyre my parents i have to love them… i wish my life was different.. i wish i was happy.. i wish i was dead.. and thats the truth.. life would be much better without me.. no one can deny it.. […]
I’m stuck. I feel like I can’t get better and this inability to move past my trauma is limiting my ability to live my life the way I want too. I try. I can go months without hurting myself and then something that is seemingly random breaks my illusion of healthiness and I fall backwards on my ass to the depths of despair. I can’t seem to forgive myself for shit that has gone wrong…and the more I try to examine my issues I feel the higher the chance of relapse. I don’t have a support system […]
well.. weekend was kinda good. spent most of it as my friends, meaning i only had to see my family for half of sunday. yay!
but when i got home.. mom bitches at me about how i fidgit all the time. i cant help it!
dad gets mad cuz i always wear a hat. so what? my parents are so stupid. need to get mad at me about anything. i start talking back to my mom and shed ask “have you taken your pills today?” uugghhhh.. life sucks.. i burn now instead of cutiing. hurts more. and i’ve barley eating since friday. lost a lot of weight. […]
Am I Insane? Waking up in the middle of the night craving just to self-harm, I could feel the need on my scarred wrist just so temped to grab my razor & press the cold metal against my skin. Deeper & deeper gliding across; red gushing out everywhere off the sides of my wrist & down my arm.  “I wanna cut, I need to cut†I could see my skin break as the tip of the knife goes down my arm with blood spilling out of my arm. Since that night I’ve been craving to cut & all I think about is suicide attempts. Maybe if I […]
I’ve been reading through a lot of posts over the last few days and I have too say get a grip Some of you. I’m 34 years old and reading some of the comments on here you really don’t have a clue. I’ve been there as a 14 year old and the girl that I love so much has split up with me so I slit my wrists. At 15 I got started on by 7 people my own age and all I could do was run away as fast as I could or literally get kicked to death. I was so ashamed to run […]
its been a while since ive been online. not a lot has happened. but im getting worst. me and my bf broke up, and there is this girl i just wanna kill. me and my best friend are fighting and ive got no sleep in about a week. im going crazy. i run away a lot during the day and sometimes at night. i think about death more and more. i just wanna die. before they were just thoughts but now it is serious. self harm- if i cut my wrist and hope to hit a vein, it will take hours of painful death until […]
Somebody needs to make a separate site for people who are depressed, can’t socially adapt or have issues with self-harm and negative self image. All these cries for attention are going to kill me before I kill myself.
So I just woke up after a good 18 hours of sleep, so I’m going to post what’s on my mind while I have the energy. Throw rocks at me if you will.
So many people here don’t genuinely seem to be suicidal. Yes, I am aware that also many of you are. But a lot of people are just here to cry for attention or are depressed because a lack of attention from others. Crying for attention among other people who are here because they want attention, or because they are suicidal (and a lot of people who are suicidal are self-absorbed or caught […]
Yesterday my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me because he refuses to stay with me if he goes 6 hours away for college. We’ve been together for two years and he won’t listen to anything I say.
I raided his medicine cabinet and I took all of the pills I could find. I’ve been throwing up for 18 hours and can’t eat or drink anything. I’m so dehydrated. When I drink anything, I vomit. I can’t stop sleeping but I needed someone to hear me in case I pass.
My parents have never listened to me. My problems have always been written off. […]