I was sexually abused when I was 14 and used to have dreams about it again and an=gain, they were different, different people that I knew, different places, and I would fight. but recently, now 18, ive been having slightly different dreams, still the same content, but I don’t recognise the people, I don’t know where I am, why I’m in that situation, and most distressingly, I don’t fight back anymore in these dreams. I just don’t understand. any one?
I succumbed to texting my ex. It’s a been almost 2 weeks since we vaguely texted each other. I told him that I need to be his friend and I asked him if he still even cared. He said “Yes, of course”. But he doesn’t act like it. He never asks me how I am or how my life is. It feels as if he is not my friend, not even a stranger on the street. Why am I hanging on to him like this? I’m actually starting to be completely turned off by him, sexually and in a friendly kind of way. Maybe this […]
I was depressed before I fell in love. I have to remind myself of that so I don’t think that I am even more crazy to want to kill myself because I lost the person that I love. I. was. depressed. before. I. fell. in. love. I had suicidal thoughts before I met him. I have been anxious and depressed for a very long time. Probably since childhood.
It’s not like I’ve never been in love before. But this time, I thought he was last one I would ever have. We match. He understands me. But I didn’t give him what he wanted. […]
When life has tainted you, it’s permanent. No matter how hard you try to change or deal with whatever issues it caused it doesn’t go away, because it is now part of who you are. At least that’s the case with me I can’t necessarily speak for others when it comes to this. I was sexually molested as a child and growing up all through my life. Not constant but there were intermittent instances and only 2 were more serious cases. I try to ignore the fact that it happened I never really think of it and I continue with my life. But the truth […]
This starts from where I left off, I will try to be brief. I especially don’t like to dwell on this, though I often don’t have much of a choice.
I got chlamydia from a guy. I tried to be safe, but I won’t go into those details.
I suffer from urethritis, which isn’t contagious. It just means I still experience irritation daily, but not all the time.
I don’t know how much of this is his fault. I didn’t hear this from him, but I was told by his ex that he was sexually abused as a child. Then he got kicked out during the […]
whether I want it or not. I don’t want to cut myself nor do I want to die anymore the mere thought seems absurd to me. Sometimes it’s hard to believe I used to want to not only that but I attempted suicide countless times. Yay such a huge step but the truth is I’m still sad inside the only difference is I’d rather live with the sadness than die and feel nothing. I have so many issues that plague me for one I have become emotionally numb that or maybe I haven’t found anyone worth having feelings for. I use sex as some coping […]
I was raped when I was 7 years old, and im so fucking broken it hurts, I don’t feel empathy in the same way others do, I feel emotional pain much more acutely than most people do. To others, suicide is an unspoken tragedy, but for me it is an escape.
* lame mushy relationship problem* I met a nice guy, genuinely true and honest and down right lovely, described by his friend as the ‘virginest virgin’. we’ve been closeish friends for a year, and a week ago we found out we both liked each other. we are both awkward. its been so awkward. he knows all about me, my depression, suicide attempts, self harm, anxiety attacks, being sexually abused as a toddler and then being used for sex by paedophiles at 13. (now 18, new guy is a few months younger than me) I told him I’m not ready for anything physical and he seems […]
Also .. I’m so sexually frustrated and miss the feel of having a boyfriend and being able to go out and just spend time with them and kiss them and what not …
Sorry I had to let it out … Cuz literally … the sexual frustration is intense ..
It’s not something as dramatic as suicide but I want your help.
The last three years, I have been in a very weird phase of my life. When I go outside , alone, I feel that people are thinking bad things of me and I feel that there is a big cloud over my head and they can see whatever I have on my mind. I am overweight and I eat unhealthy food with big ammounts on my plate. It’s not like I am a glutton but it’s like I force myself to eat it. I have never had a real friend. Noone that I could […]
All I ever want is to go back to feeling normal. But I haven’t felt normal since I was 5. My dad killed himself when I was 6, and my mum remarried. When I was 8, my stepdad began to sexually abuse me, all the way through to the age of 17. I self harmed and was seriously depressed throughout this whole ordeal. The abuse happened almost every day, in every room of the house. I’m 19 now and he is in prison, but I can’t get away from the mental, physical and emotional scars and trauma that I’m left with. I want to feel […]
May be triggering, but need help
so I am 14 going on 15 and i was adopted when I was 2 from ukraine (I was born premature, and then was dumped on the street by my mom when I was a month old) I was brought to the states and then my mom and dad started to abuse me. Physically at first and then when I was 5 my dad started sexually abusing me and my brother started when I was 8. This is continuing to this day. For about the past 3 years I have been suffering from ptsd and has had multiple suicide […]
I have tried to hang myself twice till now but in vain.Everytime I gather the courage to kill myself,I chicken out and start crying.Life holds onto me like a disease.I have received some very positive support here from “Vertrag” and “another failure”,they have been very nice to me.But its all over for me,I haven’t done a single good thing in my life yet,I m 23 and I can’t even take a proper mature decision.Everyday is worse than the previous one.Things r looking really very bad for me.Life is over for me.My mind is dead,its just the miserable heart that keeps beating.
Burn It All
Went to a live concert last night. Pretty good show. The frontman really knows how to put on a show. Not bad at all. When I get to that point I’m going to blow people away. See, when I go to shows it’s selfish. I go only so that I can visualize myself on the same stage seeing myself doing the same things better. Seeing what things I like regarding lighting and acoustics and even the performance. I pick […]
I am not sure who is going to be reading this, or really why it is that you’re on this website and that you’re reading this, but hello. I hope that whoever you are and wherever you are that you’ve managed to have a relatively good day today.
My name is Mark Owens. I am not afraid to “reveal” my identity because I no longer wish to remain anonymous; I’ve been doing that my entire life. I am currently 19 years old and I live in the metro-Atlanta area, and beginning in the fall I’ll be starting my junior year of college as a Music Education […]
what do i do when i have strong feelings for one person who i would say is smart and attractive but i only get talk to them about once a month and i won’t be able to see her for another year and a half and she is also my best friend however there is another girl who i like and can be smart when she chooses to and is quite ‘sexually’ attractive (there is other things i like about her)?? (both of them i am really close to and tell them anything and everything).
soooooooo confused and mixed up at this point.
my past is bad i was sexually abused and beat. My real dad died when i was two of a car wreck.Ive attempted suicide three times in my life and the last time i almost ended it. I still self harm and its how i cope with all the things that i go through.
Life is cold, I feel alone, even when surrounded by people, I feel like I’m in a different world than them. That I can’t ever have anyone in my life. I’ve been through a lot, went from being a sexually abused boy, to testifying against my father at age 7, lost my family in the process, and now find myself alone. Albeit now I’m a prosecutor now thinking that asking questions in court rather than being asked them would somehow make life ok. I now find myself weary from constantly seeing people at their worst, and dealing with criminals and trying to find justice. However […]
I’m so tired of everyone. All the obligations and responsibilities I inevitably have being the oldest child. Though I don’t think I am a child anymore. I have so many expectations to constantly live up to, and when I don’t, I become a failure in my familys eyes. I have a habit of not finishing what I start. School, by some miracle I graduated, though I wasn’t allowed to attend graduation or promotional because instead of expelling me, they just told me to not come back the last month of school in order to get my diploma. I went to the military after that. I […]
Can’t believe that I ever thought I had more serious problems in life before now. I was sexually molested and had awkward sexual situations with adults and others that were my age growing up. I repressed the memories, I repressed all of it because it was all so terrible and disturbing. I never dated growing up, I fell in love with a guy and started dating him when I was 19. I started having sex with him when I was 20 years old and once I started I couldn’t stop we always had sex. We were careful and responsible about what we were doing and […]
Newer Posts