The drugs that I have been on for the past year are Effexor, Wellbutrin and Lamictal. The doctor told me they were antidepressants however I was always depressed. The only problem was that I never felt fully cured or happy. During the day or when I was around anyone I would always put on a happy face and joke with everyone so no one could see my pain, depression and loneliness. Everyone thought I was a happy-go-lucky guy. At times I almost convinced myself. What really made me realize that the Effexor and Wellbutrin were working to some extent was if I forgot to take […]
Tag:
Single Day
It’s been awhile since I’m here. and I find myself coming here more and more often. Because nothing else interests me anymore. I can’t think about anything else. I think death just avoids me. I mean, every single day I hear about people getting in accidents or falling ill and dying. And every day, it’s not me. I ask myself why, and I can answer this question, weirdly though. BECAUSE NOBODY IN THE WORLD LEADS SUCH AN EMPTY LIFE AS MINE. People do something, go somewhere, engage themselves, and they get things happening. I don’t. I am too afraid to do something. I am afraid […]
I sit here. Staring blankly at nothing.
So many thoughts running through my mind.
It hurts, it burns.
Hatred flares through me like raging fire.
It doesn’t stop, it never will stop.
I hate all this, I hate myself.
I feel sick. I feel tired.
I reach my palms out and beg for help.
I wished there was someone who could understand.
I was wrong, so so wrong.
I went to someone whom I trusted.
I tried to tell him my pain, I prayed that he would understand.
But he just threw more daggers against my heart.
Not only didn’t he understand but he saw me mad.
He kept telling me how ungrateful I was.
That there were many people […]
The last few posts were of True Stories. But this one, will be different. It’s what I’ve done and happened today. How I feel right now. And what’s going on.
Currently, I’m sitting on the edge of my couch. Law and Order SVU is on, about a Ryan and Rebecca Clifford. My teddy bear sits next to me. I’m listening to I’m Yours To Lose from Zeromancer. And I’m typing this (well, duh.) But a surprise. During the week of my man’s being with his girlfriend, he’s able to get on Skype. We’ve been talking for about an hour. It’s a good thing, because I was […]
That ive made it so far,im 36 and ive been deppressed almost all of my life,thoughts of suicide mostly every single day.Ive been through so much sh*t.Sometimes i dont find the purpose in life its just all meningless bullsh*t.
I’ve been on this site many times before…Reading this blog is like reading the Bible to me. It’s refreshing to be able to read all the honest feelings in these posts. I am not happy to read about how so many of us are suffering, but at the same time, it’s nice to know that I am not alone in how I feel at times…Well most of the time. I wish that I could accurately describe how fucked up my life is…It really is exceptionally miserable. I’ve spent the majority of my life with depression and anxiety…But I always had hope for the the future..Hope for […]
I know I’m new here. I’ve had these thoughts in my head for years, but no one understands me. My meds are off. I’m trying new ones, but they aren’t working fast enough.  Every med I’ve tried either doesn’t work or has side effects that are worse than the damn depression. Therapists have never worked. I’ve never found one that I liked or trusted. I’m afraid that the first one I talked to honestly would dump me in a looney bin or have me forcibly committed. So I can’t open up to them. Basically, everything in my relationship is my fault. Everything. When I try […]
Hi. I am a teenage girl. Over the last few months I’ve been under depression. I have suicidal thoughts. I really think that I do not deserve to live. I hate myself.. I am very ugly and have no talents. I’ve been bullied at school. I’ve heard so many horrible things about my appearance that really hurt my feelings. However I really agree with all those who call me ugly. I want to change, but I can’t. I cry every single day and night, I’m in great pain. I can’t stop these feelings. Because of being ugly I have no self-confidence ani I don’t […]
I know none of you want to hear this and I presume most of you will not listen to me but please try. Im begging you, do not give up. Death is not an answer. Suicide is the easy way out and shows no stength. You need to hold on. There is people who care about you and if not, I care.. Life is precious and there are hundreds of thousands of people who die every single day who didnt want to, who chose life but got it ripped from their grasp without a choice. The most selfish thing you could do is to kill […]
How do you really tell someone you’re in pain without it bothering them? Without making them feel useless for not being to help you? Normal activities will only take you so far. Should I return to pointlessly opening my flesh? How many OD’s til I get it right? When will this spit stay in my mouth? When will my body stop aborting itself? I don’t want to kick and thrash anymore. I don’t want to freeze in one state for minutes on end. I want my old life back. When I was a humorous person to be around, when I would laugh at myself even. […]
I really don’t see the point of waking up every morning. Why should I even bother on it? When I’m not depressed I become angry as fuck. I don’t understand this world, and I don’t really want to.
Every single day of my life is a torture for me.
Hello there. This is my first time on this site so let me just give you some background info about me. I’m 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. When i was in Kindergarten through 5th grade i was bullied harshly. I was bullied for the way i smelled. A guy, Alec, and his friends would make fun of me EVERY SINGLE DAY. They made my life a living hell. They were also on my bus. I remember one incident where i was sitting on the bus and Alec took out his phone and took a video of me sitting there and he […]
Every single day I’m in so much pain.. It doesn’t get any easier. I’ve waited for a few years now and it’s only gotten worse. What’s the point of suffering through this when it would be easier to just sleep?
being hurt is possibly the worse feeling someone can ever get it feels like your being punished for the mastikes you made in life not knowing how much it could acturally hurt someone by saying the wrong thing or saying nothing at all being treated like your not there that noone can see you so noone can hurt you but that hurts more being treated like a pieced of trash that you can just throw away isnt how your suppost to make people feel everyone desreves to live life the way they want too and not give a care in the world but as the […]
Hi there.I’m a girl with an ambition to be a listening ear for any one who needs it.I promise to check my email every single day.It’ll be no problem helping.My email is shanecia.anthony@gmail.com
I don’t know what to live for anymore. My life goes the same pattern every single day and I think it’ll go the same way every single day ’til I die. I wake up, go to school, do some homework, do some household choirs, watch some tv, go to bed. In the future school will switch to work.
I mean… No day has meaning and every day is a struggle. So why continue? I know I’ll never get completely through my traumas and I’ll never be truly happy. (And yes I know that happiness isn’t a destination, more like a way of life but still I […]
I’m exhausted. I’ve come to believe that there are people put on this earth that are meant to struggle throughout their lives. They are the ones that we look at in their 80’s and say…oh but she/he worked soo hard, did what they could, just couldn’t catch a break, but never complained, just went to work did what they had to do…. yeah well, I’m 42 years old, been divorced for 4 years now, I have 2 children remaining with me, my oldest is 19, has moved with his father and hates and refuses to speak to me bc of the divorce. I went […]
I’ve never been so lost in my entire life. I don’t even know where to start.
I’ve been depressed, anxious, and suicidal my whole life. It’s been miserable. It’s so hard having nobody to talk to. My family doesn’t understand. Every single day I put on my fake smile and act like I’m okay, but I’m not. I try to get my parents to hear me. I cry out, but nobody listens. I’m invisible to them.
I have no idea what I’m doing with me life. My dreams were always shot down. They said I wasn’t special and that I’d never make it. I still believe I can. But […]
Seems like it’s becoming a high priority again. Damn Eating Disorder…
Fuck swimming classes man. If it weren’t for having them every single day for two hours I could of had the chance to starve myself. I want to die, but I don’t want to die drowning. I’m pretty sure that’s an unpleasurable experience. When I was anorexic, I was 5’5 and 98 lbs, that was back in Dec.-Nov. 2011. 10 months have passed since then, today I finally had to weigh-in in school. Of course I had clothes on, and I weighed myself naked as anorexic. The scale popped out at 132lbs. My heart sunk, […]
I’m so glad that I found this site. It’s perfect. Things have been really fucked up as of lately. My depression and disordered eating that began in 6th grade have crept back into my life somehow. Causing me to get in fights with friends, family, myself. I’ve had suicidal thoughts every single day, just like old times. But something new is that I see scary images. But this has been happening since summer/the end of last year. Like for an example, whenever I close my eyes I see blood or a man with an ax in his head laying on the ground bleeding, or when I’m in […]