i love him a lot he too…but i become so dependent on him it disturbs his life he wants me to be independent but i couldn’t do that..i read many articles..i motivated myself to be independent of him but nothing gives success..i am working as a software engineer i am a passionate girl i love my job ..i have a variety of hobbies..good parents brother friends..but the new office environment and hostel environment makes me to feel lonely ..i couldn’t manage this loneliness that’s why become too much dependent on him and moreover he made me to be dependent on him..he voluntarily involved himself and […]
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single
I’ve suffered from depression since I can remember.
I attempted suicide when I was thirteen. According to my mother, it was a phase.
I’ve been flirting with anorexia for years. That, she said, was a phase too.
But my mother was often naive about a lot of things.
Like her husband for example. He’s cheated, he’s lied, he hit her and sexually abused her.
My mom was ill. Most of what I remember of her was her being admitted in to hospitals. She was blind. I thought most of her ailments were due to the fact that she had diabetes since she was 11 years […]
probably gonna sound stupid or whiney or that i should mind my own business but this place is for me to get my emotions out right. so hats what im going to do.this isn’t aimed at anyone person in particular. im just torn up about a post on here
i felt better this last so many days i thought what i have been saying was true. but was it. i mean how come he had to wait nearly about hour for a reply, no one even tried, i replied too late what if i could of helped what if he’s dead.not a single person. […]
My life has been so terrible i feel like giving up. Every single day is longer and harder to get through. My ex boyfriend left me with our baby and i feel so overwhelmed. While he’s out there sleeping with other girls, smoking weed, and racing his car, I’m here just taking care of our daughter. Everything is on me. I feel like just killing myself so he can suffer. I feel like just running away into the streets filled with the promise of intoxication and liberty. I can forget everything. I can just die in a peaceful drugged out overdose.
Howdy ,
I’m Gollum , male , 45 years old . Digital artist , broke , over-sensitive , tired , struggling with (“not-so-heavy-anymore”) depression since 2006 , when a very unexpected , painful & unhealthy divorce (after a decade and 1/2 of a very happy life) , put me in the deepest depths (ooo the pleonasm^^) of the well . I don’t have children btw .
Why Gollum as username ? (I could also have chosen Darth Vador , or Mr Hyde)
As an artist , I’ve always been into literature , imagery , music … Basically , I’m just fascinated by the evolution of these fictional characters […]
I owe my life to you
you’ve helped me grow.
you kept me safe
on my darkest days, you were my light.
the last time I thought about taking my last breath, you were the one thing on my mind. I’ve always been vengeful, I’ve always wanted to see you suffer like you watched me – and I knew taking away something you cared about would hurt you more than anything.
two birds, one stone.
if I kill myself, it would kill you too.
but watching you smile –
hearing you breathe
makes me […]
he won’t talk to me, won’t realize how much I love him and care, has his head so far up his sperm donor’s ass, my family and ‘friends’ ignore me, even my cries for help. I am surprised they haven’t repo my car yet. so here’s what I got. I’ve done lots of research so it should work. pure caffeine powder, iron pills, Aleve, diphenhydramine, caffeine pills, lamictal… an overdose of just a single one of those could be lethal according to what I have learned, so let’s hope this cocktail works. maybe then people I know will realize that this isn’t the way […]
Okay, in the past week I’ve run the full spectrum of emotions. From depression, to anxiety, to straight out mania. Right now I’m manic. While I’d rather be manic than depressed. However, rather than those I would rather just feel like myself. Quiet, introverted, shy, but still secure in myself enough to know my worth. Right now I’m everything but that. Excitable, fidgety, talkative, basically sprung as though I’m about to run a 10k. Don’t like this. It’s a trap! I’m telling myself I’m more productive in this state but that’s just a lie. In actuality, nothing gets finished. Everything is left half complete, which […]
Just then, a sound.
The sound of shattering glass swished through the open door frame, berating my eardrums and bringing me out of my trance. I turned my gaze upward as I shifted my orientation, just in time to hear another shattering sound as bits of the bathroom mirror fell from its frame and into the sink.
Before I could even think, I was on my feet and running towards the door. Because I knew pain, and I knew what he’d do to himself.
I shouted his name; no answer.
I shouted it again, my fists frantically pounding against the door. The shattering stopped, and I heard a light […]
I wanna kill myself, I have a method by jumping off the Golden Gate, I’ve gone 3 times already, but I can’t seem to do it. I’m scared to jump because of chance of surviving and feeling the agonizing pain, although, the survival ratio is low and also, if I back out, I’ll just make a big scene. Now to why, I wanna do this act. I’ve been depressed for years do to having a dysfunctional family, always being a failure at everything I do; I don’t seem to have a future. A few years passed and I had to move to a new city, […]
I need to get Ryan out of there. we have little contact, because his phone broke. he is the one I love most in this world. I wake up crying every single day and I feel like he feels trapped. I pray for him multiple times a day even after saying God doesn’t exist. I try to contact Ryan from his dad’s phone, only to have his dad tell me to never call or text his phone again. my parents don’t care about my problems, I pushed all my friends away, I have nobody that really wants to be around me anymore because I’m so […]
Ah man, the 2 year mark is closing in on me. It’s gonna be here so fast, i don’t even have proper time to prepare myself. It’ll just hit me, like everything hits me.
Like the memories that creep in, late at night. Or the details i don’t want to forget. Or the feelings, the emotions, every little thing my heart and soul feel. It always hits me, when i’m least prepared. Late nights, lonely late nights.
There’s still so much sadness.
And then there’s anger.
Because for fucks sake, i hate it when people ask if “im over it yet”. Or when people say we […]
I am a single mother of two… I just had to terminate my 5th pregnancy and I am only 25. I pissed of my boyfriend by using him and not talking with him, and he was the love of my life. My kids are spoiled and I feel like a stupid slut most of the time. My father sold me sexually from 5 on… And abused me emotionally, physically and sexually. My parents told me I was an accident. I was not meant to be here. I found myself skimming dating and sex sites looking for the man who I will never find. After the […]
Saying goodbye is possibly the hardest thing a single human has to do. You take so much things for granted and when you have to let them go, the feeling is indescribable. But I don’t like to say goodbye, I’d rather say Hello, it doesn’t hurt as much. So don’t say good bye and I won’t forget. Because saying good bye means forgetting. I don’t wanna forget though. …Even the porcelain dolls that you have to say goodbye to, it harms everything in my chest when thought’s sink in.
I must go now, so talk soon maybe.
I lived my life as a child who had big dreams. I wanted to be a teacher or a doctor because that’s what kids my age wanted to be at the time. Life outside was great,but coming home was never any fun. There were times when I enjoyed being home. Other times I wish I had a place to run to. Four years go by and every single day of those years were awful. What still brings me tears is when on July 5th I told myself “This was beautiful day”. From then till now I haven’t had a beautiful day. I became a druggie […]
I just.. I feel so empty. Yeah, normally its easy to laugh it off and hide behind a mask, act normal, human even. But right now, when I’m sitting at home and in bed, all of my walls come down. I feel so weak and hopeless- and of course my parents choose this very moment to tell me how worthless I am and how I’ll never amount to anything and how I should have been more like my brother. The worst part? I agree with them.
I’m not anything special; I don’t have any outstanding talents- and trust me on this. I can read people […]
So I ended up here because I thought I might meet people who think and feel like me.
Every single post makes me feel as if it was mine. But the thing is that here or in real life I’m not able to confront my fears of being rejected and meet new people.
So I thought maybe if I stated my centers of interests I might meet someone who share them.
1. I’m a BIG HUGE fan of Ken Follett.
2. I’m a pianist and I love music above everything else (not only classical but also rock and alternative, my favourite band being Coldplay)
3. I love reading and building […]
Stressing and worrying
Clammy hands and darting eyes
The world all around
She began to despise
The simplest tasks were scary
The people surrounding
Still hurt her profoundly
As the words from there lips
Not a single one missed
*****, slut and whore
Scars she had to bear
On show for the world
Gone but always their
Not a single person helped her
They all saw her drowning
Still going about there day
Noticing and still frowning
She knew nobody cared
But the image still hurt
As family and friends
Stood around and all glared
Drowning more each day
In the tears she had cried
The girl that once was pure
Nearly […]
No idea what to say
The sun isn’t shining today
Beneath the dark clouds
Fighting the rain
Who knows what’ll happen today
In a world sealed off from the inside
People fighting for their lives
Your perspective shrinks down to a spec
And you only find one way out
Beneath the dark clouds
Fighting the rain
Not a single one of us is sane
Fighting ourselves
And anyone that comes near
Becoming the nightmare we fear
To keep going on
Would take to much
So might as well end it here.
A scamming thief conned me out of $28000 in loans which have never been paid back and now I’m so broke, I can’t even pay for utilities or food. Then last week he even went and robbed my house of every single item of value, plus many, many items that are so sentimental and irreplaceable. This on top of the fact that I was barely surviving to begin with. He took away whatever fight that I had left to live. I’m done. I’m so stupid. He played on my sense of empathy and compassion and used, lied and scammed me until there was nothing left […]