I Wanna Die, but I Can’t Do it :(

I wanna kill myself, I have a method by jumping off the Golden Gate, I’ve gone 3 times already, but I can’t seem to do it. I’m scared to jump because of chance of surviving and feeling the agonizing pain, although, the survival ratio is low and also, if I back out, I’ll just make a big scene. Now to why, I wanna do this act. I’ve been depressed for years do to having a dysfunctional family, always being a failure at everything I do; I don’t seem to have a future. A few years passed and I had to move to a new city, which means a new school, new people and a new life. I went there for 2 years then we moved back, where we lived originally, the time I was there I was all alone, I didn’t make a single friend there, I was always alone at break/lunch or in an assignment that required partners or groups. I didn’t feel loved or even cared for by anybody, so I felt who would care if I just disappeared one day. Then one day, I went to visit my aunts and I met this girl; I swear I knew she was the one to be, I just felt this and I haven’t felt that way with anyone else, just by glancing at them for the first time. We started talking and I succeeded into making her mine. It was the first time, I felt cared and loved for by someone else or anyone for that matter. I tried, so hard to make her see that, I am the one and im always the one that will care, protect her, and be by her side through the good and bad. I felt so attached because I actually felt that we had something serious (and we did) we both were attached and in love. That long distance relationship lasted for about almost 4 months. We broke because not one of us got tired of each other or cheated on eachother, but because her didn’t allow us to see eachother anymore (although she didn’t want me with her since the beginning), but we tried to see eachother, when ever we could, unfortunately I had to go back home. We decided we were still gonna try, as much that was needed to make it work. Slowly she started to lose love for me, she would ignore me from time to time and now, we’re not talking anymore. I still have a dysfunctional family and always will, im still a failure, im have no friends, and now im single (it was a miracle, I was with her) I will never have anyone else. So life is shit to me and death is my only solution from this piece of shit, I can a life. My only way is to jump and hopefully in 4 or 5 seconds after I let go of the bridge, I’ll hit the water and shatter my bones and die or stay afloat and feel the unbareable pain or sink and drown.